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Awww Sweettea, my heart goes out to you.. I know how that feels.
My husband and I adopted a chow/golden mix about 2 years ago named Stitch, and then in April we adopted a Beagle named Lilo.. I get sad just thinking about them being gone.. those ARE my kids! My spoiled rotten kids. People that say "they are just a pet/dog/cat, whatever" they don't have that special spots in their hearts like we do.. They are my family!
I thought about his age too ( I just yelled at him (Reggie) for molesting the Christmas tree...!) and how I'd deal with it, but then thought...well, if we hit it off, the years to that point will have been worth it.
I thought about my old 17 year old cat though a bit after reading more and I remembered more of what made Alex special. Not only did I raise him from a kitten whose eyes had just opened, but he learned all my sounds and gestures which my older cats still have never picked up. For instance, besides waking me up every day by grooming my eyebrows just before my alarm went off, he'd stare at my eyelids and I'd peek at him through my eyelashes and he'd gently take a paw and prod my eyes then look at me closely to see if I responded. It would give me the giggles. As soon as he saw my eyes open, he'd make an excited trilling sound. He did that every morning. And then, because he'd be on top of me, for me to get up, he'd have to get off of me, so I'd pull an arm out and point left or point right, whichever direction I wanted him to go, and he always followed the gesture and would jump off me in the direction I pointed. I also would do a special click sound with my tongue and it as my "call signal" to him. He always, always came running to me when I did it. He had character and was known for paybacks. If I waited too long to change his litter box, he'd pull out a pooh and soccer it across the floor into the middle of the kitchen and then stare at me. If I pushed him out of the way or said "NO!"..he'd get a look on his face and then come over to me at some point and pinch my arm in retaliation. Once that was done, he was fine! I took him to my mother's house whenever I went to my parent's home and one time my mom was wearing flipflops and mopping the tiled hallway. He kept getting in her way and she took the mop and pushed him off the tile floor and away. He slowly walked through the living room, then the dining room, into the kitchen, then circled back to the hallway my mom was mopping, but directly behind her. Then he turned on mach 1 speed, nipped my mom on the heel, then ran off. She and I were in hysterics. He had a vengeful streak, but not in a mean way, he just made sure you knew that he paid you back! My present cats are wonderful, but they don't pay any attention to my signals. I think it came from raising him from a kitten...and...Alex was just a brilliantly intelligent animal. If I held him and got kissie poohie, he'd put a paw up and push my lips away while looking the other direction. He was hilarious.
Your story has me smiling, what a character he was! It's wonderful to recall our happy memories of these wonderful animals.
It can be nearly as tough losing a pet as losing a human. I, personally, take heart in the fact that God doesn't 'lose' anything. They're 'in Him', somewhere, and I look forward to seeing all the fuzzy creatures I've been pals with, someday.
sweattea, I know it is hard, but please try not to blame yourself. When I lost my Ollie Cat in 2000, he died with me too, at home. He was only sick for a few days, but I beat myself up over what I could and should have done. It took me along time to work through that profound amount of guilt. And of course, when Otis ran off during the move, let me tell you, I tortured myself. First I blamed my husband, then myself, then just about anyone within a 10 mile radius. I had let Otis go ahead with my husband, while the kids and I stayed back with grandma. Otis was never super comfortable around my husband, he was my baby, and I felt like I had abandoned him. I should have known better. If only I were there. I often wonder if he ran off to look for me? The thought of him out there alone, absolutely unbearable. Believe me, I went through all the textbook stages, first anger, then of course, guilt, grief, and I am working toward acceptance. I'll get there eventually. And I hope you do too. The one thing that brought me some peace with Ollie was knowing that at least he died with me, the one who loved him more than anything else in the world. I know he knew that, and I am sure he felt my love until his last breath. I know your baby did too. Be strong.
I thought about his age too ( I just yelled at him (Reggie) for molesting the Christmas tree...!) and how I'd deal with it, but then thought...well, if we hit it off, the years to that point will have been worth it.
I thought about my old 17 year old cat though a bit after reading more and I remembered more of what made Alex special. Not only did I raise him from a kitten whose eyes had just opened, but he learned all my sounds and gestures which my older cats still have never picked up. For instance, besides waking me up every day by grooming my eyebrows just before my alarm went off, he'd stare at my eyelids and I'd peek at him through my eyelashes and he'd gently take a paw and prod my eyes then look at me closely to see if I responded. It would give me the giggles. As soon as he saw my eyes open, he'd make an excited trilling sound. He did that every morning. And then, because he'd be on top of me, for me to get up, he'd have to get off of me, so I'd pull an arm out and point left or point right, whichever direction I wanted him to go, and he always followed the gesture and would jump off me in the direction I pointed. I also would do a special click sound with my tongue and it as my "call signal" to him. He always, always came running to me when I did it. He had character and was known for paybacks. If I waited too long to change his litter box, he'd pull out a pooh and soccer it across the floor into the middle of the kitchen and then stare at me. If I pushed him out of the way or said "NO!"..he'd get a look on his face and then come over to me at some point and pinch my arm in retaliation. Once that was done, he was fine! I took him to my mother's house whenever I went to my parent's home and one time my mom was wearing flipflops and mopping the tiled hallway. He kept getting in her way and she took the mop and pushed him off the tile floor and away. He slowly walked through the living room, then the dining room, into the kitchen, then circled back to the hallway my mom was mopping, but directly behind her. Then he turned on mach 1 speed, nipped my mom on the heel, then ran off. She and I were in hysterics. He had a vengeful streak, but not in a mean way, he just made sure you knew that he paid you back! My present cats are wonderful, but they don't pay any attention to my signals. I think it came from raising him from a kitten...and...Alex was just a brilliantly intelligent animal. If I held him and got kissie poohie, he'd put a paw up and push my lips away while looking the other direction. He was hilarious.
I'm laughing hysterically!!! He was a smart cat. What breed was he?
My dog is only 3 and the thought of having to put him down someday sickens me. I think of him as my kid, and he really is a part of our family. Don't let anyone get away with saying, "It's just a dog", or it's "just" a whatever. Pets are every bit as special as people.
Give him all the hugs you can and cherish every moment you have with him.
PLEASE don't blame yourself !
I had done everything I could to keep my two dogs alive before they passed. Spend thousands of dollars on them. Hospital stays . I.V.'s, meds, the works, only to have them survive a few more days to a week suffering. With both of them, we spent the last days of thier lives shoving meds down thier throats. I feel more guilty for being selfish and trying to make them stay around longer. I have learned that I would rather spend thier last days loving them, making them happy and feeding them anything they would enjoy. After fighting with them over the meds, seeing what the meds did to them, and all for nothing, I FEEL that, there comes a time for everyone and everything.Be it very hard of us to accept. I will not let the vet. open up my dog with cancer. My friend , the vet. tech., advised me not to because of the infection and the chance the cancer would spread. She told me to take him off his diet, love him, continue to give him a happy life. (he is a bit overweight) If I had allowed it 4 months ago, I am sure he would not be here today. Everyday we have with him is a blessing. He is not suffering. He is playful, still eating and drinking on his own, and shows no real sign of suffering(besides the lump on his chest).
It is extremely hard, but please don't blame yourself. Know that you gave him a good life! That he was loved and cared for!
Thank you so much!! You have made me feel sooo much better.
I'm so sorry about your dog. I grew up with German Shepards - they are smarter than most people in this world! I have never heard that a dog should not eat salmon. I'm sure you miss her, she's a part of your life, home and family...then gone. In our house, we call that a "Murhpy-sized hole."
Doesn't it just tear you up to see your husband crying? It does me. Big, burly, tough guy with tears streaming down his face because the dog died. Makes me love the big lug even more.
You are so right DBNN - they sure do have souls. My DD came home from 7th grade one day, furious because her religion teacher said that our pets do not have souls therefore do not go to heaven. We don't believe that, our beloved animals have souls just like we do, and we'll all be together again one day. It turns out ALL of the kids went home with the story of what this teacher said, and ALL of the parents feel the same way we do.
I believe they have souls after I saw my dog struggle to get up and say goodbye to me, I sure do believe we will see our babies again.
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sweattea
