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I could use some input and I know you guys will help.
Just to set things up: I have three pets: Ben, about 20 is a mixed terrier mutt that I found in my yard when he was about 2. Katie, 7, is a cat my daughter rescued from the pound when she was just a kitten. We have had her for two years because my son-in-law is very allergic to cats and this way my daughter still sees her. Charlie, 7, is a Harrier my parents rescued from the pound. He came to live with us last year after my Dad passed away.
Ben is, boy it's hard to see in writing, dying. A tumor was discovered growing from his liver into his abdomen last March. An ultrasound showed it was not invading any other organs and since then appears to be growing slowly. The vet isn't sure if it is cancer because no tests were run due to his age. The ultrasound was tough enough on him. We've had a few very tough days with him where we thought it was the end but he seems to rebound. We have checked with the vet about watching for signs of pain and other things to look for. In fact there are more times than not you would never know what is going on with him. He is almost his old self.
Ben and Katie have been around each other since my daughter got Katie so are "close" to each other, even more so since our move from Florida to North Carolina. Even though Ben doesn't play any more Katie was always very loving with him. Last year Ben had some kind of seizure that freaked us out to say the least and Katie just kept laying next to him after watching out for him. And except for once incident when he startled her when she was sleeping, he kind of tripped into her, she has never gone after him other than in a playful way.
I said all this because today, Ben was just sitting in the middle of the room. He has I would guess Parkinson's or something similar because he shakes sometimes. I was watching and for no reason that I could see but the shaking, Katie hissed at him and swiped at him with her paw (she also was not de-clawed). Now I don't know for sure her claws were out but Ben did pull away. I couldn't find a scratch on him though. So maybe it was the hissing and the smack. I never ever heard her hiss at him. She hisses at Charlie, but not Ben.
So my question would be why do you think Katie did what she did? I am at a loss here. I will admit I was upset with Katie and she knew it. And I know she loves Ben. For instance when we go away and come back (we bring Ben and have a person check on Katie every day) they greet each other by rubbing noses! I could see it with Charlie because they play and in some ways are still getting used to each other.
So any input as to the hissing and swatting at him would be helpful. I guess I feel the need to protect the old guy and it's hard enough dealing with the situation. But I don't want to be angry at Katie because I know this is hard on her too. And ironically it was the way both Katie and Charlie were acting around Ben that made my husband and I take him to the vet in the first place. They knew something was wrong.
Because she knows something is wrong.Animals sense it.I had a rottweiler named Thunder.He was BEST BUDDIES with my miniature pinscher Buford.Little guy used to sit on thunder!Always slept together and were always by each others side.Thunder was diagnosed with kidney failure and i kid you not,buford would growl at him and i guess you can say he became distant.It was very strange.Im sorry about your dog You have him a great life!
To save your sanity - this is going to be hard enough on you regardless - the first thing you have to do is to stop putting a human spin on the actions/reactions you're seeing.
Animals (and I have found cats in particular do this) are not genetically preprogrammed to sit around and be nice or comfort an ill or dying animal. A sick animal is a weak animal and weak animals are - and this is pre-programmed - a liability. Sick animals get shunned, left behind, abandoned.
If you ever have to deal with species that aren't truly domesticated yet (parrots or alpacas are good examples), you'll discover it's a bugger. They will, at all costs, hide illness until ... well, by the time you discover there is something wrong, it can be too late. If they hide it, they can stay with the flock/herd; show it and they'd get left thereby guaranteeing their early demise.
Also be aware that due to his illness, there may be chemical changes going on that make him smell differently. Obviously our noses aren't that attuned, but a cat's or dog's would be.
Try - very hard - not to get upset with the cat. It's hard, I know, but she's a cat, not a small person in a fur coat. She might be finding his new smell or some small nuance in behaviour that you're missing but she's picked up on, disturbing. She's reacting to "strangeness", 'tis all.
Perhaps, should this continue or get worse, you need to think about giving the old boy some space of his own. Some puppy pen panels might protect him without him feeling cut off - he can snooze yet still be where he's always been.
Watch for other changes in the cats behaviour too. She just might be especially sensitive to this and you might find (there's no way of predicting) she needs to be physically separated from him for either his peace or hers.
Animals (and I have found cats in particular do this) are not genetically preprogrammed to sit around and be nice or comfort an ill or dying animal. A sick animal is a weak animal and weak animals are - and this is pre-programmed - a liability. Sick animals get shunned, left behind, abandoned.
FiveHorses, I agree with all the points you made in your post (I was also going to mention the "smell" aspect in particular) except this part I've quoted as I've had two major experiences which totally belie it.
"George" was in his 20s and had been "grandfather" to a few of the formerly stray current feline residents when he finally walked outside in the sun, curled up, went to sleep and died. Up to the day he died the others treated him with love and respect even though he was getting frail and was deaf as a post. Within a few moments of his death they sat in a circle around him and waited by him until his body was removed for burial.
"Nicholas" and "Alexandra" were siblings who I rescued when they were just a few weeks old and not even weaned. I had Nicholas PTS at home in his late teens when a spinal problem finally got the better of him and he was unable to walk. He was buried deep in the back yard. A few days later Alexandra, who rarely went outside, started going out during the day and sleeping on his grave although she'd not been around for his burial and there was no reason for her to pick that particular spot - if any reason at all to suddenly change her habits and go outside. Three months later she wanted to go out late one night which was completely out of character. I gently pushed her away from the door and she lay on the floor and went to sleep. When I awoke in the wee hours of the morning she wasn't in bed with me as usual and I found her where I had last seen her, laying by the back door - dead. I firmly believe that she wanted to go out that night to die on her brother's grave.
So no, I absolutely disagree both from my own experiences and anecdotal references that animals are pre-programmed to shun and abandon the sick and the dying. Cheers!
So no, I absolutely disagree both from my own experiences and anecdotal references that animals are pre-programmed to shun and abandon the sick and the dying. Cheers!
It's so nice when people can disagree with civility.
I have experienced both sides of the coin. Perhaps the most touching story was when our largest dog took it upon himself to watch over and attempt to comfort our teensiest (under 3 lbs) cat who was dying. The other cats wanted no part of it.
However, regardless of anecdotal evidence and/or experiences, I will still maintain that it is not unnatural for the OP's cat to behave the way it is.
I have found that during times such as one the OP is experiencing, it's just far, far too easy to fall into the anthropomorphic trap and ascribe a "meanness of spirit" to the animal that does not react the way we think it should. This can, unwittingly, lead to further behavioural problems.
If the OP's cat wants no part of the old chap's life anymore (I'm not saying it's gone that far, but I am saying it could go that far), then I feel it is important to respect that and make allowances for both the animals sake and for her own.
Thank you all for your input. I do truly appreciate the help and advice.
I think that what happened yesterday with Katie and Ben just surprised me because they were always fine with each other. In fact in the past, it was grumpy old Ben that would snap at her if she wanted to play and he wasn't in the mood. I guess I was just trying to get an idea if she was sensing something we aren't. As I said in my original post we thought we were losing him a few times already so we are prepared. The last time was on Memorial Day when he slept all day and we couldn't wake him up at all for anything. He went out in the morning, ate a little and laid down and that was it. We set him up on the couch so he would be comfortable and waited. My husband tried one last time that night to take him out. He carried him and put him down. Ben managed to get up and go. He came in and had some water and some food and was walking around. I must say not only were we shocked but the look on Katie and Charlie's little faces was one of shock too. He has been doing pretty good since then, even going on a week long vacation with us and held up better than we did. So when this happened out of the blue I think I am suspecting something going on that has not become obvious to us yet. By the way, Charlie the sniffer as we call him is doing more sniffing than usual with Ben.
Katie knew I was upset but I know she wasn't trying to be mean. She is just reacting to what is going on. I sometimes think that maybe she is mad at him for being sick and leaving her with just Charlie My husband and I worked hard with both Katie and Charlie to let them know they are loved since coming to live with us. And the three of them are almost like kids. Pet one, pet them all. The dogs get a little treat when they go out and Katie has to have one too. And if Ben catches the other two in the kitchen since they have internal clocks telling them it's dinner time, he is right there with them. Sometimes he is the first one at the closet door waiting. And of course the minute he moves, they are following him. I think trying to keep up with them has helped Ben in some ways. He wants to be part of the gang.
Today, there were no problems. And Ben even fell asleep right up against Katie's box, she loves to sleep in boxes or on bags, and she looked at him for a few seconds, stepped around him, went in the box and fell asleep next to him. So who knows. I of course will keep an eye on the situation. But it does help to know that this is normal, for what ever reason is behind it-anger or the natural instincts of an animal or sadness.
Animals definitely know when something isn't right. I have had animals in two different instances where they had been practically raised together and one was dying.
My first was two dogs that we had. When the older one died, we took special care to really make the younger one more of a part of the family. He became somewhat unfriendly for awhile and really didn't like people. I thought about it and figured out that he had been more of the other dogs buddy than anything, then all of a sudden we were expecting him to just move on and be the "family dog". He eventually did, and he lived to be 10 years old.
The second actually involves the dog I just mentioned, except he was now the "older dog". He had bone cancer, and I remember coming home one night and taking one look at him and knowing that he may not make it through the night. He was more of an outside dog, so he was out on the deck. Most of the night was quiet, but about 3:00 am our other dog started running a perimeter area around the property and barking. I almost think she was trying to protect him and keep everything away from him (we live in a rural area). I went outside, and sure enough, he had passed away. The next day when we went to bury him our other dog would not come anywhere near the area. She stayed down the hill from the house until it was late afternoon and finally came up.
I'm sorry about your dog, it is hard to watch and know that they won't be around much longer.
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You have him a great life!
My husband and I worked hard with both Katie and Charlie to let them know they are loved since coming to live with us. And the three of them are almost like kids. Pet one, pet them all. The dogs get a little treat when they go out and Katie has to have one too. And if Ben catches the other two in the kitchen since they have internal clocks telling them it's dinner time, he is right there with them. Sometimes he is the first one at the closet door waiting. And of course the minute he moves, they are following him. I think trying to keep up with them has helped Ben in some ways. He wants to be part of the gang.
