Trends of Gay Dating Scene in Philly... (Philadelphia, York: mover, neighborhoods)

[flmover]

Hello! I want to know about general tendencies of the gay dating scene in Philly. How is it in terms of attitudes such as: plastic, fashionist, exclusivist, intellectual, simple, friendly, ephemeral, long lasting, prejudiced, etc.

1. Which is the most heard complaint?
2. Which is the most heard praise?
3. Which is your opinion about complaints and praises?

[kyle19125]

Originally Posted by flmover

Hello! I want to know about general tendencies of the gay dating scene in Philly. How is it in terms of attitudes such as: plastic, fashionist, exclusivist, intellectual, simple, friendly, ephemeral, long lasting, prejudiced, etc.

1. Which is the most heard complaint?
2. Which is the most heard praise?
3. Which is your opinion about complaints and praises?

Philadelphia has an odd gay community. It's not especially visible given the size of the city. There is a "gay neighborhood" which occupies around 2 blocks of Center City which consists of a few sad gay bars and the usual dirty adult video stores, and a gross bathhouse. Simple and exclusivist best describe from your list of descriptions. The most heard complaint(s) is the lack of a viable gay community and the one-dimensionality in terms of meeting people. I'm not familiar with any common praise given. I lived in DC prior, which is much smaller in terms of city size (Philly 1.5 million and DC 600,000) and the gay community there is spread out over several city blocks, is much more visible overall and friendlier despite it's "icy" reputation.

[FindingZen]

Originally Posted by kyle19125

Philadelphia has an odd gay community. It's not especially visible given the size of the city. There is a "gay neighborhood" which occupies around 2 blocks of Center City which consists of a few sad gay bars and the usual dirty adult video stores, and a gross bathhouse. Simple and exclusivist best describe from your list of descriptions. The most heard complaint(s) is the lack of a viable gay community and the one-dimensionality in terms of meeting people. I'm not familiar with any common praise given. I lived in DC prior, which is much smaller in terms of city size (Philly 1.5 million and DC 600,000) and the gay community there is spread out over several city blocks, is much more visible overall and friendlier despite it's "icy" reputation.

I think you may have slightly underestimated the reach of Philly's gay community.

Washington Square West, Philly's "gayborhood" stretches roughly from 8th to 13th Streets going west and Walnut to Lombard going south. That's about 20 city blocks or so. Off the top of my head, there are at least five or six bars and clubs primarily catering to guys as well as many other gay-owned/friendly establishments such as the 12th Street Gym, Giovanni's Room (a bookstore specializing in LGBT magazines and literature) and Cut, a barber shop and William Way Community Center.

The "dirty" adult stores you may be thinking of (on 13th St?) at least have a better outside facade than they used to thanks to the revitalization going on there. Danny's in particular caters to everybody. I think that second floor "bathhouse" is gone now; I'm not sure which one you're referring to.

These days WSW is more diverse with more straight people moving (back) in but it is still far and away the entertainment hub for the LGBT community.

I may see your point regarding the one-dimensionality. The social totem pole seems to favor white gay males, in particular with the number of social venues. To my knowledge, there has only been one female-friendly venue: a nightclub called Sisters. If there are any particularly minority-friendly venues, I don't believe they are downtown. Anecdotally speaking, lesbian couples are said to often choose leafy and ultra-diverse Mt. Airy in NW Philly as a place to settle down.

Regarding DC, from my relatively brief observance it appears that the social hub of Dupont Circle has become more diluted with typical mainstream chains. It may indeed still be bigger than WSW but not to the degree that you portray. And, of course, your $$$ go significantly further in Philly.

There are a few major events going on during the year including PrideFest, the Equality Forum and a Gay Film Festival

The Philadelphia Gay News will help keep you up to date on issues local and beyond.

FWIW, I happen to be straight - not that there's anything wrong with that, Seinfeld fans - but from working and living nearby, particularly as a member of 12th Street Gym, I picked up a lot of info through osmosis.

[solibs]

There are a lot of places in the gayborhood that, even if they aren't explicitly "gay" are de facto gay hangouts. That and lesbians and gay men live all over - down in Passyunk Square, up in NoLibs, out in U. City, In Mt. Airy and Chestnut Hill, Collingswood, Lansdowne, New Hope/Lambertville, etc.

One thing I do hear from gay friends is that there is this tension/cultural divide between the older generation of gay men who had to fight for all the things that they think the younger generation takes for granted. The older guys are the one who carved out these neighborhoods and who felt a need to stick together for safety and camaraderie. The younger guys (and women too) grew up "out", they frown on what they think are gay cliches perpetuated by the older generation and don't feel a need to live in a gay ghetto.

[FindingZen]

Originally Posted by solibs

...and lesbians and gay men live all over - down in Passyunk Square, up in NoLibs, out in U. City, In Mt. Airy and Chestnut Hill, Collingswood, Lansdowne, New Hope/Lambertville, etc.

That's true. I didn't intend to imply that Washington Square West and Mt. Airy were the only two places that gays and lesbians hung out.

[kyle19125]

Well, I'm actually gay and have lived/traveled to many other cities and for it's size, Philadelphia has by far the least cohesive and visually apparent gay community. I've lived here for 7 years and have had many friends visit from other cities, and each and everyone has been very underwhelmed by the gay community here. My advice would to perhaps travel a bit and check out some other cities before ranking Philly's scene so highly.

[solibs]

Originally Posted by kyle19125

Philadelphia has by far the least cohesive and visually apparent gay community.

this from the guy who lives in Fishtown

I'm not gay but I've bartended at a gay bar (I'm not mentioning where) and have a lot of gay friends so obviously i'm going to have a different, outsiders perspective but from what I gather, a certain kind of people are attracted to the gay scenes in New York, LA, SF, Chicago, etc. and that people who settle and/or stay in Philly are generally more laid back, reserved, unassuming, etc.

It's just not part of the culture (straight or gay) to be flashy or showy and even, to a certain extent, to be gregarious. Some people want that, and that's fine, but I do agree that you're not going to find it in Philadelphia.

[kyle19125]

Originally Posted by solibs

this from the guy who lives in Fishtown

I couldn't find anything within the three square blocks of the "gayborhood" in my price range

[kyle19125]

Originally Posted by solibs

t
It's just not part of the culture (straight or gay) to be flashy or showy and even, to a certain extent, to be gregarious. Some people want that, and that's fine, but I do agree that you're not going to find it in Philadelphia.

For the most part I don't find gay residents of DC, NYC, Chicago or SF to be flashy or showy...rather friendly and less inhibited. The point is Philadelphia's gay community for whatever reason hasn't developed as much, which might have to do with the lack of "gregariousness" you allude to that this city is known for. Also for the record, I don't see a lot of gays and lesbians moving to Philadelphia for that characteristic.

[solibs]

Originally Posted by kyle19125

I couldn't find anything within the three square blocks of the "gayborhood" in my price range

walk 'til you qualify