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Old 01-04-2014, 02:45 PM
 
36 posts, read 73,402 times
Reputation: 17

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Bowa View Post
I find Southerners to be "fake" friendly.
I was just going to chime in with this... the South and out West seem more passive aggressive... rude/unfriendly, but trying to mask it over... which in my opinion is even worse than any "upfront" rudeness you'd receive in the North East... obviously I'm biased but I'd argue people are more "genuine" in this area.
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Old 01-04-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: East Coast
2,878 posts, read 4,394,275 times
Reputation: 4180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Bowa View Post
I find Southerners to be "fake" friendly.
Well, bless your heart.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:33 AM
 
12,455 posts, read 27,093,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jm02 View Post
I really don't buy the claim that "Philly is depressing" or "Philly is unfriendly." I've lived in 7 states and made friends in each place I've lived. I've done that not by waiting for people to reach out to me. I've done it by putting myself in places where I could meet people with similar interests and backgrounds. Since moving here three years ago, we've made some truly great friends in Philly, and one of our common refrains to friends back in Texas is that we've found the city very friendly. Our experience has run quite counter to what we expected when moving to the "cold and unfriendly" northeast. I guess it goes to show just how different people's experiences can be. Best of luck
I agree with this^. As most of you know, I don't live in Philly but I have lived in it's surrounding counties and close enough that one of our kids was born in Philly. I think it's difficult moving into any area without a partner or spouse. When we were first married, my husband and I lived in upstate New York and we had a heck of a time making friends and we lived there for four years (or four long winters as I often describe it). I don't know that I would have stayed there that long if it hadn't of been for my husband. I love the suggestion of an exercise class, like zumba, or even joining a gym.
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Old 01-17-2014, 05:38 AM
 
129 posts, read 239,059 times
Reputation: 53
Great suggestions so far; exercise, church, meet-ups etc. Continue being in places of interest similar to what you like. Hang in there; been there done that. It takes time. In the end you end up being the stronger one but the journey to get there is tough.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Phila
441 posts, read 820,467 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by toobusytoday View Post
I agree with this^. As most of you know, I don't live in Philly but I have lived in it's surrounding counties and close enough that one of our kids was born in Philly. I think it's difficult moving into any area without a partner or spouse. When we were first married, my husband and I lived in upstate New York and we had a heck of a time making friends and we lived there for four years (or four long winters as I often describe it). I don't know that I would have stayed there that long if it hadn't of been for my husband. I love the suggestion of an exercise class, like zumba, or even joining a gym.
Compared to upstate NY, Philly is super friendly (though certainly dependent on your specific neighborhood). Experiences can vary wildly here, but for the most part the surrounding area (where I spend most of my time) is really friendly. I will also echo that The South is kinda friendly but less genuine.
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Old 01-17-2014, 02:14 PM
 
Location: PHILADELPHIA METRO AREA
60 posts, read 66,804 times
Reputation: 21
Talking Sorry but...no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark Park View Post
Although I was not born nor raised here in Philly I admit I love it above all other places and will live the rest of my life here. I take great pride in the City Of Brotherly Love and love showing out-of-towners around when they visit me.

Having said that, I will admit that Philly is NOT a friendly city.

It's not friendly to you because when people ARE acting friendly, you don't RECOGNIZE it as such. That's all.

We may be curt but friendliness may be conveyed in a simple and quick "how are ya?" or a mild and unintrusive but kind question is asked ("How are your kids? Oh? Really ? Won the championship. Good, great. okay well good to see ya." which is genuine - but might not seem so to someone used to a more prolonged greeting.) The things some people view as friendly I view as outright nosy and intrusive - I'm just more private like that. I DONT want hugs from people that are not family, and I don't want you to ask me how much I pay for the apartment/car/etc and I am not going to talk about another person's hair/boyfriend/facebook status if I am not best friends with you. I simply don't engage in gossip with acquaintances. In fact, I prefer my acquaintances to know as little about my personal life as possible. If I run into you on my way somewhere, I am NOT going to stop and tell you about the latest movie I saw, where I get my hair done, or what I'm doing next weekend. Unless I'm inviting you to somewhere next weekend. It's not being unfriendly - it's being time efficient.

I don't need or want a huge grin from you, a big "HELLOOOOO, how are YOOOUUUU" and a hug - A simple kind word or nod does it for me. We're a good bunch and a small smile carries a lot of weight, whereas a huge grin and a big ole "HELLLLOOOOOOO how are YOUUUUUUU" is not the style. (it is down where I am now though, took a good long while for me to get used to THAT!) Even if someone doesn't smile or give me a really pleasant tone of voice, if there's a genuine kindness in the eyes along with that "you got it" or "sure can I get you anything else"? that's fine too. With me, if you remember my name when I come into your shop, that's better than a big fake gooey smile and such claptrap. Of course southerners dont think their big gooey smiles are fake and they dont intend them as such. It's just my perception.

Sorry but that's the truth. Glad you like it better now than before.

Last edited by RELpara; 01-17-2014 at 02:26 PM..
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Old 01-17-2014, 02:45 PM
 
160 posts, read 192,576 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
Thanks for being honest.There are good qualities about Philly. The culture,food, and events are awesome.
Responding to this, as well as the original post.

I have lived in and around Philly most of my life. When I was younger I got to travel and see other cities in the US and a few, briefly, overseas. I think both of your posts sum up the dual nature of the city. Some of the most abrasive, as well as some of the kindest, most generous people you will ever encounter. In my experience some Philly people do wear that brash, in-your-face "tough town" so-called "grittiness" (a thoroughly over-used term, but not entirely inaccurate) like a badge of honor. Some people play it past the realm of scrappiness, or feistiness into plain rudeness, meanness, and outright ignorance. There's being "Real"....and then there is simply being a d!ck. That goes for Philly or anyplace else. But that's not all, or even the vast majority of people here. Real Philly people will be the first to tell that those people are a$$holes. The trick to living here, is to not let those types get to you. Because if they can, they will. Philly is (thankfully) becoming less "Negadelphia" with each passing day, but that mindset still exists; some people just walk around in a cloud of misery, and want company: again, that's not just Philly, it's anywhere. My advice; develop a thick skin, and ignore as much of it as you can.

When all else fails, flip 'em the Bird. Everyone here understands that.

Last edited by LiveFrom215; 01-17-2014 at 02:59 PM..
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Old 01-17-2014, 03:32 PM
 
268 posts, read 290,935 times
Reputation: 184
Odd...while I don't live in Philly, I've visit it often and I've always found it to be friendly. It's one of the reasons we're planning a move there.

Part of that may be because when we do visit, we want to be there and we're in a good mood and we're happy, so that's the vibe we project, so people generally give us the same back.
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Old 01-17-2014, 03:34 PM
 
Location: The mountain of Airy
5,148 posts, read 4,993,434 times
Reputation: 3418
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarryOn View Post
Odd...while I don't live in Philly, I've visit it often and I've always found it to be friendly. It's one of the reasons we're planning a move there.

Part of that may be because when we do visit, we want to be there and we're in a good mood and we're happy, so that's the vibe we project, so people generally give us the same back.
Couldn't agree more. We're planning a move there too. We're not bubbly people, but we're friendly with good senses of humor and that's gotten us a great response in return.
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Old 01-18-2014, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles, CA
175 posts, read 221,172 times
Reputation: 222
Ditto for me, we are from LA, and almost everyone here are fake *******s. We are moving to Philly in part because we found most people so friendly and helpful. The only unfriendly or downright sullen people we encountered were african american. I have no idea if its just life circumstances related or what, nor will i speculate and end up getting bashed as a racist. Im not in the least, it is just an observation from my 3 trips there so far. Not sure if the OP is only attempting to make friendships within a specific racial community, perhaps that might be part of the issue??
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