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Old 01-09-2019, 12:25 AM
 
Location: Warminster, PA
56 posts, read 29,635 times
Reputation: 17

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.They sure as hell stare at me for 10 hours & aren't discreet about it but when I try to converse, they're short & don't include me in anything . If I'm walking past they avoid eye contact. On the streets, women stare like I'm not allowed to exist. I tried to strike up a convo with a girl my age at coffee shop but she was snippy. I know that could be a coincidence but add that to all the other crap I've gotten. Just today I was ordering food & this guy calls me a dark skin ***** & stares at me non-stop until I get my food. Then touches my arm as I leave. I screamed at him so loud. I would have taken him if I could. Seems as if people go out of their way to try to hurt me here. I broke down this evening because all my efforts get smashed in the dirt.of course the occasional bitter person is normal but I've never had it to where it's 90% of encounters! Everyone here has a chip on their shoulder. I know I'm generalizing but I could tell you many other experiences I've had just in these 9 months. I came here for a job but it was a mistake. Long rant I know, but when I tell ppl they say stupid sh#t like "it's all in your head" or "stop being conceited". Maybe I should just start being a *****. They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?
I live in Warminster in Bucks county and I haven't been able to make any friends except for one mentally ill woman who I knew for only a few months. I need to go to a southern or western state.
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Old 01-09-2019, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
985 posts, read 565,118 times
Reputation: 1461
If you can't make friends in a city of 1.6 million people, and one filled with transplants who came here with no ties also, there is most likely something wrong on your end. I came here knowing nothing about the city and not knowing a single person, yet it wasn't that hard to make friends. People in the city are busy, so you have to be deliberate about making and maintaining friendships. It's not like being a kid where friendship basically falls in your lap.
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Old 01-09-2019, 01:56 PM
 
8,569 posts, read 4,677,701 times
Reputation: 2864
Quote:
Originally Posted by MB1562 View Post
If you can't make friends in a city of 1.6 million people, and one filled with transplants who came here with no ties also, there is most likely something wrong on your end. I came here knowing nothing about the city and not knowing a single person, yet it wasn't that hard to make friends. People in the city are busy, so you have to be deliberate about making and maintaining friendships. It's not like being a kid where friendship basically falls in your lap.
Yep, exactly. You have to at least meet people half way. You don't have to go to bars/clubs either to be social. One can strike up a conversation, or try to, in a coffee shop.
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Old 01-09-2019, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Pocopson
120 posts, read 38,448 times
Reputation: 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by MovingToWarmth View Post
I live in Warminster in Bucks county and I haven't been able to make any friends except for one mentally ill woman who I knew for only a few months. I need to go to a southern or western state.
Warminster is a dull town and I could see it being difficult to meet people there. In general, the further you go north from Philadelphia, the more cliquey it gets (the trend culminates in Lehigh Valley).

I wouldn't write-off Philly as a whole; you might just need a change of scenery or routinely visit where the outgoing people are.

I noticed in your post history that you're considering moving to Delaware, hoping that it's more upbeat than Warminster. Aside from a few pockets, it isn't.

In general, the northeast is more depressing than the Carolinas. The northeast has more things to do, and offers more career potential, but it is more cranky and standoffish.

Maybe start a thread asking people where you belong? It sounds like you lived up here enough to tell what you like and don't like about the area.
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Old 01-09-2019, 03:54 PM
 
8,569 posts, read 4,677,701 times
Reputation: 2864
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patmcpsu View Post
Warminster is a dull town and I could see it being difficult to meet people there. In general, the further you go north from Philadelphia, the more cliquey it gets (the trend culminates in Lehigh Valley).

I wouldn't write-off Philly as a whole; you might just need a change of scenery or routinely visit where the outgoing people are.

I noticed in your post history that you're considering moving to Delaware, hoping that it's more upbeat than Warminster. Aside from a few pockets, it isn't.

In general, the northeast is more depressing than the Carolinas. The northeast has more things to do, and offers more career potential, but it is more cranky and standoffish.

Maybe start a thread asking people where you belong? It sounds like you lived up here enough to tell what you like and don't like about the area.
In the "Philly is rude" thread recent visitors/ tourists were raving about their experience coming here and how nice people were. So, I guess it just depends upon who you encounter.
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Old 01-09-2019, 04:47 PM
 
969 posts, read 1,095,958 times
Reputation: 363
Where you live is just one part. Where you choose and can get out to can help too. Try a website like meetup.com and other small group type organized activities.
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Old 01-09-2019, 09:34 PM
 
12,495 posts, read 27,443,382 times
Reputation: 7006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patmcpsu View Post
Warminster is a dull town and I could see it being difficult to meet people there]In general, the further you go north from Philadelphia, the more cliquey it gets (the trend culminates in Lehigh Valley)

I wouldn't write-off Philly as a whole; you might just need a change of scenery or routinely visit where the outgoing people are.

I noticed in your post history that you're considering moving to Delaware, hoping that it's more upbeat than Warminster. Aside from a few pockets, it isn't.

In general, the northeast is more depressing than the Carolinas. The northeast has more things to do, and offers more career potential, but it is more cranky and standoffish.

Maybe start a thread asking people where you belong? It sounds like you lived up here enough to tell what you like and don't like about the area.
I totally disagree with your generalization about cliques and friendliness. I’ve lived in 5 different states and four counties in Pennsylvania, including four surrounding Philadelphia. Where we live in the Lehigh Valley is the friendliest place we’ve ever lived. I’ve found that what can make a difference is the actual neighborhood. Also, kids really help. We had much more trouble making friends when we lived in places without kids.
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Last edited by toobusytoday; 01-10-2019 at 12:18 PM..
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Old 01-15-2019, 07:39 PM
 
Location: Levittown
648 posts, read 416,733 times
Reputation: 353
Quote:
Originally Posted by toobusytoday View Post
I totally disagree with your generalization about cliques and friendliness. I’ve lived in 5 different states and four counties in Pennsylvania, including four surrounding Philadelphia. Where we live in the Lehigh Valley is the friendliest place we’ve ever lived. I’ve found that what can make a difference is the actual neighborhood. Also, kids really help. We had much more trouble making friends when we lived in places without kids.
I think most of Bucks County is extremely friendly. I do not know much about Warminster itself though. Philly itself is a blunt place which I am fine with and you will find this in NYC and any other major city in the northeast.

I think though that up in the Lehigh Valley it does get rather cliquey. It is one of those places that has gotten a lot of people moving in from elsewhere (in this case Jersey!) that the locals do not like and want them out of their area. Kind of like the Jersey Shore area with people from NY, like a consistent "clash" of cultures. Not exactly pleasant IMO.
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Old 01-16-2019, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Pocopson
120 posts, read 38,448 times
Reputation: 164
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyb01 View Post
In the "Philly is rude" thread recent visitors/ tourists were raving about their experience coming here and how nice people were. So, I guess it just depends upon who you encounter.
I'm not saying that Philly is rude; I'm saying the northeast USA is less-friendly than the Carolinas/South. Compared to other big cities in the northeast, Philly is possibly the friendliest (Boston is the only real competition).

Is Philly friendlier than North Carolina? Absolutely not.
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Old 01-16-2019, 08:07 AM
 
329 posts, read 318,470 times
Reputation: 299
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patmcpsu View Post
I'm not saying that Philly is rude; I'm saying the northeast USA is less-friendly than the Carolinas/South. Compared to other big cities in the northeast, Philly is possibly the friendliest (Boston is the only real competition).

Is Philly friendlier than North Carolina? Absolutely not.
Define "friendlier." I personally find many southerners extremely nosy and passive aggressive. Part of your viewpoint might come from the fact that you live in Pocopson which is quite rural and southern burb and maybe more similar to parts of North Carolina than it actually is to the city of Philly and closer northern suburbs. You might just prefer a more "know thy neighbor" type of community.
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