Philly is depressing (York, North East, Zion: apartment, how much, living)

[DaughterOfZion]

Originally Posted by mancat100

Either that or maybe I'm just an a*****e myself which would explain why I fit in so well.

Haha I'm thinking of becoming an a**hole myself just to fit in

[DaughterOfZion]

Originally Posted by cattusbabe

Look I have lived in Philly since 1961. It is just like every other city. Good people and not so good people. Same goes for every city I have lived in and visited.

If you are constantly running into negative people and negative situations then you have to look at the one consistent thread in the whole equation. A mirror is helpful in that regard.

I'm sorry but that look in the mirror cliche is bs sometimes. I am aware enough to know that I'm not an a**hole. I actually get violently upset when ppl are done wrong. No one has told me I'm a bad person,everyone says the exact opposite about me. Yesterday one of my clients even mentioned how rude Philly is & she's a native so its not just me. She's an extremely sweet person.

[Pine to Vine]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion

I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.

You have a lot of good suggestions here. The main one I can make is to look outside of beauty school to make friends if that hasn't worked for you. I am sure you have interests beyond cosmetology. And when I say "make friends" I mean compliment someone on their hair or clothes, ask them to coffee and engage them in conversation. Express genuine interest in that person and their life. Regardless of where people live, it is human nature respond to kindness. One thing I do know is ranting on an anonymous website is not going to change things for you.

I really don't buy the claim that "Philly is depressing" or "Philly is unfriendly." I've lived in 7 states and made friends in each place I've lived. I've done that not by waiting for people to reach out to me. I've done it by putting myself in places where I could meet people with similar interests and backgrounds. Since moving here three years ago, we've made some truly great friends in Philly, and one of our common refrains to friends back in Texas is that we've found the city very friendly. Our experience has run quite counter to what we expected when moving to the "cold and unfriendly" northeast. I guess it goes to show just how different people's experiences can be.

Best of luck

[pgm123]

Originally Posted by Clark Park

As opposed to 90 miles south of here: Baltimore.

This year I took three separate weekend trips to "Charm City." A friend asked me: "Clark, why are you always taking short trips to Baltimore?" My answer: "Well, there are great restaurants such as seafood places near the Inner Harbor and Fells Point and so many fun pubs and bars in the Mount Vernon Place section." My friend says "We have many great restaurants and pubs right here in Philly." My response: "Well the people in Baltimore are so much friendlier than they are here in Philly." My friend's retort: "Clark, the people in every city in the world are friendlier than the people in Philly!"

You should spend some time in DC. I was just up near Cleveland Park (technically Forest Hills) and I've never seen so many rude people. I was at a restaurant and the table to my left spent the whole time talking on their cell phones (separate conversations, obviously), and the table to my right was just rude and nasty to the server. Then I went to the Giant by the UDC station and it was just as bad there. Ugh. That part of DC makes Philly seem like Baltimore.

[pman]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion

You are so right! I've lived in the south, midwest,and visited the westcoast and the hostility and stick up the butt mentality is so much stronger on the East coast. Why, I do not know. I willnot be settling down on East Coast that's for sure lol.

meh, it's not hostility, it's just how you perceive it

Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion

I'm from DC which is a little friendlier in my experience. I would say the rudeness has become pretty normal here

DC is perhaps the rudest place I've been to or lived in. it's like the worst of east coast attitude and southern backstabbing. if you're from DC you should probably be used to rude and arrogant people. on the plus side, nobody is from DC so its easy to meet other aholes there. maybe people are reading your DC arrogance and reacting to it.

Originally Posted by pgm123

You should spend some time in DC. I was just up near Cleveland Park (technically Forest Hills) and I've never seen so many rude people. I was at a restaurant and the table to my left spent the whole time talking on their cell phones (separate conversations, obviously), and the table to my right was just rude and nasty to the server. Then I went to the Giant by the UDC station and it was just as bad there. Ugh. That part of DC makes Philly seem like Baltimore.

exactly, and the thing I like about Baltimore is that it reminds me so much of philly (in both good and bad ways).

[MikeNigh]

You are so right! I've lived in the south, midwest,and visited the westcoast and the hostility and stick up the butt mentality is so much stronger on the East coast.

I'm from the north east and I can't believe I moved back. North easterners are unnecessarily difficult and have trouble genuinely just enjoying life and pass it on. However Philly is an exception for me.

Haha I'm thinking of becoming an a**hole myself just to fit in

Certainly be an a**hole to a**holes but from my experience people in philly are quite frankly very nice, easy and cool... I think they can be very short on time (snippy?) though. I'm thinking what you might be coming across a lot of are suburbanites who are just visiting. They can be very entitled, push right through you etc.

They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?

I have the same problem. I noticed in some places like out of the country or in the San Fran area (and philly too) this is much less of a problem or not at all. However I know the problem is with me (not saying it is you for you).

[Larry Bowa]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion

I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.They sure as hell stare at me for 10 hours & aren't discreet about it but when I try to converse, they're short & don't include me in anything . If I'm walking past they avoid eye contact. On the streets, women stare like I'm not allowed to exist. I tried to strike up a convo with a girl my age at coffee shop but she was snippy. I know that could be a coincidence but add that to all the other crap I've gotten. Just today I was ordering food & this guy calls me a dark skin ***** & stares at me non-stop until I get my food. Then touches my arm as I leave. I screamed at him so loud. I would have taken him if I could. Seems as if people go out of their way to try to hurt me here. I broke down this evening because all my efforts get smashed in the dirt.of course the occasional bitter person is normal but I've never had it to where it's 90% of encounters! Everyone here has a chip on their shoulder. I know I'm generalizing but I could tell you many other experiences I've had just in these 9 months. I came here for a job but it was a mistake. Long rant I know, but when I tell ppl they say stupid sh#t like "it's all in your head" or "stop being conceited". Maybe I should just start being a *****. They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?

We have a lot of "ghetto trash" here, they probably sense you're more civilized than they are and this makes them jealous. Oh, it's a reality.

[Larry Bowa]

Originally Posted by Clark Park

As opposed to 90 miles south of here: Baltimore.

This year I took three separate weekend trips to "Charm City." A friend asked me: "Clark, why are you always taking short trips to Baltimore?" My answer: "Well, there are great restaurants such as seafood places near the Inner Harbor and Fells Point and so many fun pubs and bars in the Mount Vernon Place section." My friend says "We have many great restaurants and pubs right here in Philly." My response: "Well the people in Baltimore are so much friendlier than they are here in Philly." My friend's retort: "Clark, the people in every city in the world are friendlier than the people in Philly!"

So true about Baltimorites - I find them to be very down to earth and friendly.

[Larry Bowa]

Originally Posted by pman

your friend doesn't sound very smart. I haven't found that to be the case. aside from the obvious (NY) being less friendly, people aren't more friendly in places like charleston, SC either. they're more pleasant upfront perhaps, but not friendlier. philly is just a different culture, what some perceive as unfriendly is simply cultural differences. if you give surveys you always have to take into account that southerners don't give you the truth and people in the northeast are overly critical. in philadelphia "busting someone's balls" is a sign of affection, in other places its offensive. the racist remarks the OP are just rude but hardly unique to philadelphia. I like baltimore and people are friendly, perhaps friendlier in the nice neighborhoods, but people in DC are more rude.

I find Southerners to be "fake" friendly.

[Duderino]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion

I'm from DC which is a little friendlier in my experience. I would say the rudeness has become pretty normal here

This just goes to show relative friendliness. As someone from the Philly area now living in the DC area, I have to disagree strongly. Compared to DC, Philly is far less pretentious and self-absorbed. Although it's a stereotype, I've found that money or political power/connections are much more valued here than other places, which is very disconcerting.

At any rate, though, I still do think there are genuinely nice/authentic people in DC, as they are in all places. Sometimes it just takes a little more time to find them.