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Old 12-31-2013, 11:37 PM
 
38 posts, read 62,818 times
Reputation: 53

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Please note that this thread was started in 2014

I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.They sure as hell stare at me for 10 hours & aren't discreet about it but when I try to converse, they're short & don't include me in anything . If I'm walking past they avoid eye contact. On the streets, women stare like I'm not allowed to exist. I tried to strike up a convo with a girl my age at coffee shop but she was snippy. I know that could be a coincidence but add that to all the other crap I've gotten. Just today I was ordering food & this guy calls me a dark skin ***** & stares at me non-stop until I get my food. Then touches my arm as I leave. I screamed at him so loud. I would have taken him if I could. Seems as if people go out of their way to try to hurt me here. I broke down this evening because all my efforts get smashed in the dirt.of course the occasional bitter person is normal but I've never had it to where it's 90% of encounters! Everyone here has a chip on their shoulder. I know I'm generalizing but I could tell you many other experiences I've had just in these 9 months. I came here for a job but it was a mistake. Long rant I know, but when I tell ppl they say stupid sh#t like "it's all in your head" or "stop being conceited". Maybe I should just start being a *****. They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?

Last edited by toobusytoday; Today at 10:31 AM.. Reason: fixed typo
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Old 12-31-2013, 11:48 PM
 
225 posts, read 298,679 times
Reputation: 505
I'll bite. What other experiences have you had in the past 9 months?
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Old 12-31-2013, 11:48 PM
 
Location: back in Philadelphia!
3,247 posts, read 4,604,259 times
Reputation: 2011
Happy New Year!
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:43 AM
 
12,488 posts, read 27,384,254 times
Reputation: 7002
I'd suggest attending a church if that's something that you are comfortable with and/or trying a meet up group in one of your interests. Philadelphia Meetup Groups - Meetup It's going to be a long winter if you don't make some changes to increase your chances of meeting new people. Good luck!
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Old 01-01-2014, 12:43 PM
 
Location: The Left Toast
1,105 posts, read 1,369,509 times
Reputation: 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.They sure as hell stare at me for 10 hours & aren't discreet about it but when I try to converse, they're short & don't include me in anything . If I'm walking past they avoid eye contact. On the streets, women stare like I'm not allowed to exist. I tried to strike up a convo with a girl my age at coffee shop but she was snippy. I know that could be a coincidence but add that to all the other crap I've gotten. Just today I was ordering food & this guy calls me a dark skin ***** & stares at me non-stop until I get my food. Then touches my arm as I leave. I screamed at him so loud. I would have taken him if I could. Seems as if people go out of their way to try to hurt me here. I broke down this evening because all my efforts get smashed in the dirt.of course the occasional bitter person is normal but I've never had it to where it's 90% of encounters! Everyone here has a chip on their shoulder. I know I'm generalizing but I could tell you many other experiences I've had just in these 9 months. I came here for a job but it was a mistake. Long rant I know, but when I tell ppl they say stupid sh#t like "it's all in your head" or "stop being conceited". Maybe I should just start being a *****. They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?
Okayyyyy....Sorry to hear that. So where did you originally reside? How great was it there? I mean were the people friendlier? Is this the normal routine on a daily basis since you've been there? I live in California and travel for work and to me it seems every region has it's intricacies in one area or another.

To that I say just give it some time, get out and try the arts (Galleries, Theaters, Museums, etc or even the martial arts. (lol) You'll be fine.
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Old 01-01-2014, 01:32 PM
 
Location: University City, Philadelphia
22,583 posts, read 11,956,254 times
Reputation: 15414
Although I was not born nor raised here in Philly I admit I love it above all other places and will live the rest of my life here. I take great pride in the City Of Brotherly Love and love showing out-of-towners around when they visit me.

Having said that, I will admit that Philly is NOT a friendly city.
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Old 01-01-2014, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Boston Metrowest (via the Philly area)
4,298 posts, read 7,286,644 times
Reputation: 4031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark Park View Post
Having said that, I will admit that Philly is NOT a friendly city.
I think discussions of friendliness are extremely relative. It seems to me that there is a distinctive Northeastern trait (similar to New York and Boston) to be a bit brash and curt on the surface -- particularly to people from other parts of the country. However, my experience is that there is a strong authenticity to people in Philly that is not as common in other areas. Once you break down the "attytude" with a lot of people, you will have loyal friends for life.

To the OP, I agree that seeking out other venues for meeting people would be helpful. It can be very depressing and alienating to not feel accepted when you move to a new place -- and it does sound like you've had more negative experiences than most. A meetup group that specifically links-up other newcomers (of which there are plenty) seems like it would be right up your alley. It can sometimes take a matter of a couple years before a place feels like home.

Good luck.
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:42 PM
 
74 posts, read 97,676 times
Reputation: 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?
Hi there, NO you are not alone. Same goes for suburbs. Making NEW friends in PA is equivalent of becoming a ballerina at age 90 lol. Some keep advising newcomers to "join a church" as means of making friends but not everyone is into religion and not everyone who is into religion is into making new friends. Try meetup.

Last edited by motherofpearls; 01-01-2014 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 01-02-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Rittenhouse, Philadelphia, PA
182 posts, read 285,460 times
Reputation: 114
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfZion View Post
I've lived in Philly for 9 months now & have not yet made any REAL friends. I am in beauty school & have tried to make friends there but with no luck.They sure as hell stare at me for 10 hours & aren't discreet about it but when I try to converse, they're short & don't include me in anything . If I'm walking past they avoid eye contact. On the streets, women stare like I'm not allowed to exist. I tried to strike up a convo with a girl my age at coffee shop but she was snippy. I know that could be a coincidence but add that to all the other crap I've gotten. Just today I was ordering food & this guy calls me a dark skin ***** & stares at me non-stop until I get my food. Then touches my arm as I leave. I screamed at him so loud. I would have taken him if I could. Seems as if people go out of their way to try to hurt me here. I broke down this evening because all my efforts get smashed in the dirt.of course the occasional bitter person is normal but I've never had it to where it's 90% of encounters! Everyone here has a chip on their shoulder. I know I'm generalizing but I could tell you many other experiences I've had just in these 9 months. I came here for a job but it was a mistake. Long rant I know, but when I tell ppl they say stupid sh#t like "it's all in your head" or "stop being conceited". Maybe I should just start being a *****. They seem to get respect.Anyone else experience this or am I really not allowed to exist?
I so agree. I've been specifically targeted in this city many times by random people in public hurling ignorant comments at me. I've been in a lot of cities, but Philly is the only one where I have had people actually seek out and insult me. I've been called homeless twice, been stared down by white Temple girls with that "I'm so better than you" look, and have had someone call me a "fat-### with big tittes" while walking down the street once. Yeah, the people here are nice, but the mean ones really need to have a reality check and know that not every ignorant thought that crosses your small mind should be said.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Philly
9,833 posts, read 13,707,364 times
Reputation: 2692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark Park View Post
...
Having said that, I will admit that Philly is NOT a friendly city.
I'll bite, as opposed to?
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