Major Buyers Remorse due to Neighborhood/Area (Chester, Norristown: cul-de-sac, for sale)

[mark2741]

I know these forums aren't supposed to take the place of a shoulder to cry on but.....

We sold our townhouse in King of Prussia this past Summer. We loved KOP but wanted more 'space'. Sold it for a great price, with our goal being to purchase a bigger house in West Chester. Once we started looking though we found that there just weren't many we liked in our price range ($425k was our comfortable max). During this search process (about 2 months) my wife kept wanting to see houses in Audubon, PA. I was hesitant due to traffic on Rt. 422 and its proximity to Norristown. So we looked in KOP for a bigger house but nothing available. After going through every available house in West Chester (specifically, the Goshens because my wife was very picky about particular high schools) and KOP, I gave up resisting and so we went to look at the houses in Audubon. We found one for under $400k and purchased it.

Now, after only about 3 months in it, my wife is convinced she does not want to 'grow old' in Audubon : ( She just doesn't like the neighborhood as much as she thought she would. And unfortunately we live pretty close to the Gun Club that we knew existed but didn't realize that they would be firing off guns until 10pm on Friday nights....it's not heard in the house thank goodness but it's fairly loud outside. Really annoying. Otherwise, the neighborhood is nice in terms of the trees, is super-quiet, and good neighbors. But she really misses King of Prussia as she knew all the families there. We just didn't realize, and had no way of realizing, that the location was more important than the house. We'd gladly trade this bigger, nicer house for a smaller on back in our old neighborhood.

So...has anyone else ever been in this position? We're at the third month of her not being happy and so I'm no longer hoping for her to change her mind....If we move, we're going to take a huge financial loss and will have to definitely 'downgrade' from a 3/4 of an acre yard and an updated 2500+ sw ft house to a ~1900 sq ft house that needs work, with a 1/4 acre. Fortunately we made a lot of money from our prior house sale, but due to this huge mistake we're looking at losing around $50k in commissions and closing costs.

Any advice/thoughts? Has anyone else ever hated their house for months after moving in and then changed their mind? Or am I doomed to losing a lot of the equity we had made from our townhouse sale? : ( I spoke with a realtor who knows this area and he's non-commital on price but says if we wait until Spring (which I told him we would regardless) then we should be able to sell for close, if not at, what we paid for it.

[LibraGirl123]

Originally Posted by mark2741

Now, after only about 3 months in it, my wife is convinced she does not want to 'grow old' in Audubon : ( She just doesn't like the neighborhood as much as she thought she would. And unfortunately we live pretty close to the Gun Club that we knew existed but didn't realize that they would be firing off guns until 10pm on Friday nights....it's not heard in the house thank goodness but it's fairly loud outside. Really annoying. Otherwise, the neighborhood is nice in terms of the trees, is super-quiet, and good neighbors. But she really misses King of Prussia as she knew all the families there. We just didn't realize, and had no way of realizing, that the location was more important than the house. We'd gladly trade this bigger, nicer house for a smaller on back in our old neighborhood.

Three months is not enough time to really get to know a neighborhood. You gave in to your wife when she decided against West Chester and insisted on Audubon. Now it's YOUR turn to hold your ground.

You guys have young kids in school, right? When you have kids, you have an avenue to meet LOTS of other people, especially if your wife gets involved in volunteering at their school. I say...get to know your neighbors and make new friends via your children. If, at the end of the school year, your wife still hates your new neighborhood, sit down and reevaluate your situation.

[mark2741]

Thanks. Yeah - we have no choice but to give it a shot so we will. I'm not exactly thrilled with Audubon myself - I wasn't a fan of the area before she talked me into buying here, and my suspicions have been confirmed since moving here so far. That said, people who live here seem to love it. We seem to be the only ones who don't : ( I think the biggest problem is that we're surrounded by original owners in our 39 year old development. On our cul-de-sac/street it's almost all original owners and they are all in their 60's on up.

[bryson662001]

I would never be in your position because i really do my homework before i make a move. I investigate all the local shopping and super markets and visit at different times of the day and night. I look for traffic patterns and noise, particularly at night. Another good thing is to check the schools when they let out to see how the kids act and how they dress. Check out local train station and church parking lots. Also Google it to death. It take several weeks to months with many visits to decide if a town is what I want.

[mark2741]

Gee thanks! You're a really swell guy!

We didn't have much of a choice due to the market. Unfortunately, there were very few quality homes in the $400k range for sale this summer. I spoke with a few realtors and they said the problem is that everyone is afraid to sell due to the economy. The 'starter home' market was fairly hot because of the $8k Obama credit. But not the more expensive homes. We admittedly misjudged and assumed we could get a great house in our price range, but there just weren't any and when you have two young kids and need to get them into a good school district (with good schools....some schools in W.C. my wife insisted we avoid, for example) our hands were tied.

Do you park in front of the potential house you're thinking of buying and scope it out for days? I'd feel kind of creepy parked in front of schools and stalking the neighborhood.

I did do many drive-bys and through the neighborhood. Fact is, Audubon is not very far from KOP and we were constantly at the shopping centers off of 422, so we knew the area. Problem is, we didn't know that the majority of our block is all senior citizens, and we didn't realize the gun club noise because they infrequently shoot outside to cause the noise and we were just unlucky enough to never hear it when we were hear prior to buying.

I think the bottom line though is that my wife just misses all of our old friends and the school and such. She was heavily involved with the community there, while Lower Providence is HUGE and a lot of different types of folks we're not used to. But that's the thing about LP - you get everything from $125k dilapidated 'barns' in Eagleville, to $650k Toll House custom build McMansions. It's just not our cup of tea and I don't see how doing a lot of drive-bys or sitting out in front of the house for days on end would have enlightened us to that until we were here for a few weeks. Not to mention that, if I was selling my house and a potential buyer was sitting out front for hours, I'd know they wanted the house *real* bad and I'd negotiate accordingly...it's a double-edged sword.

In the end, you're right. And I won't make this same mistake again, which is why if the wife is still unhappy come Spring then we will go back to KOP. As much as I'd like to give West Chester another shot, I can't take that risk because I learned this go around that you never really know a place until it's too late!

[Gerania]

Originally Posted by bryson662001

I would never be in your position because i really do my homework before i make a move. I investigate all the local shopping and super markets and visit at different times of the day and night. I look for traffic patterns and noise, particularly at night. Another good thing is to check the schools when they let out to see how the kids act and how they dress. Check out local train station and church parking lots. Also Google it to death. It take several weeks to months with many visits to decide if a town is what I want.

*I deleted my initial response to this* It sounded mean.

Mark, give it a while. Just as Libra said, you will meet people and make friends. It is not yet home. Home is the place where memories are made, where you celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, spend the holidays. I can't make you feel happy about the new place but something attracted you to it. If your wife was heavily involved in volunteerism in the last location, then she can jump in here. I know that it's not that easy, quite a bit of competition amongst the ladies; they're ruthless.

Learn to shoot; yachting, riding and shooting are all the rage and have been for...ever.

Moving yet again in this economy is bad news. Best of luck.

[lititzman2003]

I feel your pain, Mark. No matter how much research you do, moving can be a huge gamble. Sit down with your wife and both of you make a list of all the things you like and dislike about your location then discuss each one thoroughly. Emphasize what you both like and focus on those points. If it's the park nearby try arrange to walk or take a drive past it every night. If it's the church you've joined become more involved in their activities. The bottom line is to try to override the negative things about your new neighborhood. If, you both decide after a year or so, that you can't stand it anymore then contact a realtor and discuss your options.

Best of luck to you.

[toobusytoday]

I've moved several times, and the last three have been with children. We made a similar mistake with our move before this one. We bought a house in a twenty year old development and because we saw swing sets and forts int he back yards, we assumed that there were children that lived there. Turns out that people just leave that stuff up and most of the kids were actually older teens and college age students. I ended up making friends with just a couple of parents that I met at the bus stop and joined a Newcomers club that had a Mom and Tot's play group. It took a little bit of time, but I cried when we left six years later.

We did not make the same mistake when we moved here - we looked at neighborhoods that were about the same age as our older kids, figuring that many people buy a house when they are pregnant with their first child. We fell in love with our neighborhood at the first visit when the owner pointed out all the children our kids ages all around us. I joined the PTA at our middle son's school and signed my youngest son up for lapsit at our local library. You really do have to just jump in. While it's a lot easier to make friends in the neighborhood, sometimes that's just not possible and it sounds as if you are both going to have to reach out just a bit more.

[Ohiogirl81]

LMAO at not wanting to move to Audubon because of its "proximity to Norristown." Um ... isn't King of Prussia just as close?

Give it more time. Three months is nothing when it comes to meeting people and making new neighborhood connections. And it's not like King of Prussia is that far away that you can't visit with old friends.

As for the gun club ... It's got a really big sign out front. Hard to miss. Sounds like you didn't scope out this neighborhood very closely at all.

while Lower Providence is HUGE and a lot of different types of folks we're not used to. But that's the thing about LP - you get everything from $125k dilapidated 'barns' in Eagleville, to $650k Toll House custom build McMansions.

That's a plus for most people, but it sounds like you want everyone to be the same as you. That really is a shame -- for you. Many of us poor souls living in those "barns" are nice, friendly people.

[Hillrunner]

Originally Posted by mark2741

Gee thanks! You're a really swell guy!

We didn't have much of a choice due to the market. Unfortunately, there were very few quality homes in the $400k range for sale this summer. I spoke with a few realtors and they said the problem is that everyone is afraid to sell due to the economy. The 'starter home' market was fairly hot because of the $8k Obama credit. But not the more expensive homes. We admittedly misjudged and assumed we could get a great house in our price range, but there just weren't any and when you have two young kids and need to get them into a good school district (with good schools....some schools in W.C. my wife insisted we avoid, for example) our hands were tied.

Do you park in front of the potential house you're thinking of buying and scope it out for days? I'd feel kind of creepy parked in front of schools and stalking the neighborhood.

I did do many drive-bys and through the neighborhood. Fact is, Audubon is not very far from KOP and we were constantly at the shopping centers off of 422, so we knew the area. Problem is, we didn't know that the majority of our block is all senior citizens, and we didn't realize the gun club noise because they infrequently shoot outside to cause the noise and we were just unlucky enough to never hear it when we were hear prior to buying.

I think the bottom line though is that my wife just misses all of our old friends and the school and such. She was heavily involved with the community there, while Lower Providence is HUGE and a lot of different types of folks we're not used to. But that's the thing about LP - you get everything from $125k dilapidated 'barns' in Eagleville, to $650k Toll House custom build McMansions. It's just not our cup of tea and I don't see how doing a lot of drive-bys or sitting out in front of the house for days on end would have enlightened us to that until we were here for a few weeks. Not to mention that, if I was selling my house and a potential buyer was sitting out front for hours, I'd know they wanted the house *real* bad and I'd negotiate accordingly...it's a double-edged sword.

In the end, you're right. And I won't make this same mistake again, which is why if the wife is still unhappy come Spring then we will go back to KOP. As much as I'd like to give West Chester another shot, I can't take that risk because I learned this go around that you never really know a place until it's too late!

I think ur problem is that u limited yourselves in where u would choose to live. There are many beautiful areas that you could have done better in but opting to stay in your comfort zone backfired on you. I dont blame u for not liking Audoban, just the traffic alone would have turned me offf to the area as a whole. Unfortunatly you are going to increasingly despise your choice and want to move. So with that being said I would advise that you take your lumps and sell it. At least then you can move somewhere that you want to be and enjoy, and you will have learned a valuable lesson about not listining to you wife . Best of luck and remember that things will get better.