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My husband and I were child free for 20+ years and as happy as could be. ...
Fast forward, we adopted two great kids in our 40's. .
I gently point out that you were childLESS, not childfree. If you have or adopt kids, you are not childfree. Some even argue that if you become a stepparent through relationship, you are not childfree. I'm on the fence about that one, but the clunky "childfree" word does not mean "until we had kids."
I gently point out that you were childLESS, not childfree. If you have or adopt kids, you are not childfree. Some even argue that if you become a stepparent through relationship, you are not childfree. I'm on the fence about that one, but the clunky "childfree" word does not mean "until we had kids."
Ummm, we were without children for 20 years of our marriage. We weren't step parents, we weren't adoptive parents, we had no one under the age of 18 living in our house. It was just my husband and me. We were footloose and fancy free therefore my use of the term child free. Is it okay if I still use this term?
Ummm, we were without children for 20 years of our marriage. We weren't step parents, we weren't adoptive parents, we had no one under the age of 18 living in our house. It was just my husband and me. We were footloose and fancy free therefore my use of the term child free. Is it okay if I still use this term?
I don't care what word people use, and think it gets really overblown, but my interpretation would be that many people who proclaim themselves "childfree" are really militant about it and want to make a very public statement that they do not have -- and do not ever want -- kids. The whole "childless" versus "childfree" debate can get pretty silly.
I don't care what word people use, and think it gets really overblown, but my interpretation would be that many people who proclaim themselves "childfree" are really militant about it and want to make a very public statement that they do not have -- and do not ever want -- kids. The whole "childless" versus "childfree" debate can get pretty silly.
Understand, I wasn't aware that "child free" was a trigger word or ongoing debate and was using it to describe my own situation, but not in a militant way. I learn something new every day and what words not to use. I thought the previous poster was just picking my grammar apart, lol. That always irritates me.
For me personally, it is not about not wanting children, it is about not wanting to give birth. I busted my bu** to keep a nice figure after I had my son, so I don't think I want to ruin my tight lil bod. Besides, it is also expensive. I want to travel and live up my dreams. Having kids sabotages that.
You're plain not ready for children. Now that's the best reason.
But that sort of implies that someday the person WILL be "ready for children". This person doesn't want them ever.
I'm with everyone else--no long drawn-out boring explanation necessary. You just don't want them. Period. Nobody gives a rat's ass if you want kids or not, except maybe your mother, and she might really not care, either. Move on to the next conversation.
There are many valid reasons for not having a child. But the only one that matters is that you don't want to have a child. <What> is the big deal?
It's a "big deal" when you're at a new job, and the girls in the lunch room are chit-chatting about their families, and they ask you how old your kids are. And you tell them you don't have any. And they stare at you like you have two heads, and one of them tells you, in a scolding tone, "but it's your christian duty as a woman to have children."
And then, you walk out on your job, because that is the only "christian" thing your Jewish American Princess self can think of to do about the situation and still maintain a sense of dignity, and leave the items on the lunch table intact.
It's a "big deal" when you're at a new job, and the girls in the lunch room are chit-chatting about their families, and they ask you how old your kids are. And you tell them you don't have any. And they stare at you like you have two heads, and one of them tells you, in a scolding tone, "but it's your christian duty as a woman to have children."
And then, you walk out on your job, because that is the only "christian" thing your Jewish American Princess self can think of to do about the situation and still maintain a sense of dignity, and leave the items on the lunch table intact.
AnonChick, I've seen you on these forums enough to know you wouldn't make something like that up, but with 34 years in the workforce, I cannot imagine such a scene ever actually happening in real life. Are you kidding me?
There's no way in hell this would EVER happen where I work. Or, I don't think, where I live in general.
It sounds like something out of a bad movie.
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