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Old 04-16-2013, 01:25 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,828,645 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idlewile View Post
Considering this is the PARENTING forum -- bizarre question.
I think it might be a good idea if one of the child-free here spoke with the mods about having a child-free subforum; perhaps a relationships subforum. Unless there is a need to be immersed among parents that brings something to the table.
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Old 04-18-2013, 01:44 AM
 
6,027 posts, read 13,090,357 times
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I don't know if this counts, but directly after the birth of our second son made both my husband and I suddenly feel as if we didn't want any more children. I knew for certain, without any doubt, at that exact moment, holding my new sweet little baby in my arms for the very first time, that our family was complete, and there would be no more kiddos. What was really cool was that when I told my husband this weeks later - he told me that he had felt the same thing.

Before I had kids I never thought I wanted kids. I had a horrible childhood and was poor and had crappy parents, etc. I thought I wanted to be childless, make money, be free, etc. But then I fell in love, and two people in love is just a couple. Which is fine for a lot of people, but we wanted a family. And so a family we made.
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:27 AM
 
13,290 posts, read 25,455,947 times
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I have never associated loving a man with wanting to be a parent. Two different things in life.
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Old 04-18-2013, 12:30 PM
 
5,892 posts, read 6,663,711 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post
I have never associated loving a man with wanting to be a parent. Two different things in life.
I am not sure that they are.

I never wanted to have children...lousy parents, poor, etc. I just thought everything i 'leanred' about parenting by being in a parent/child relationship made me think 'no thanks'.

I did have three chiuldren with an unlvong wife, against my better judgement. It was as bad (worse) than i could have imagined.

We are divorced now. And i have a wonderful woman in my life.

My biggest regret?

That i cannot have a child with this woman. However 'wrong' it seemed before, it seems SO right now. Sad that it won't happen.
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,557 posts, read 33,276,704 times
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Hmmm....

- Everytime I walk down the grocery aisle with kids screaming like banchees
- Looking at the price of healthcare with children added in every annual enrollment
- Hearing how much daycare and child support costs
- Sleeping in on weekends and remembering I would not be able do it if I had kids

Not one event but several. Kids just ain't for me.
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Old 04-23-2013, 01:30 PM
 
859 posts, read 2,397,218 times
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When I was in college I interned in a pediatric oncology ward.
Seeing parent's mourn their children was powerful, and made me question if I would be strong enough if that was the hand life dealt me some day
Obviously "some day" came and I made the decision to become a parent anyway. I still fear what a profound loss it would be if god forbid something were to happen to my son, but ultimately the fear was not enough to keep me from procreating.
However, now being a parent myself, I don't think I could work in such a population again. I don't think I'd be able to remain professionally distant as is needed.
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Old 04-23-2013, 01:42 PM
 
4,230 posts, read 6,131,379 times
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My parents have made me not want to have children.
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Old 04-23-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: PA
838 posts, read 1,013,253 times
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Becoming a step-parent - makes you want to become sterilized!
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Old 04-23-2013, 04:31 PM
 
487 posts, read 688,247 times
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to the original question: only for a brief moment during labor.
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:05 PM
 
13,290 posts, read 25,455,947 times
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The actions and daily life of a parent, to me, are not related to the life of loving a man. For the man who posted that he wishes he could have a child with current love, I go back to my own thoughts that men do not wish to be parents in the daily, moment-to-moment caretaking sense, but a more abstract sense of "having a family" or even "passing my genes on." For those who point out that a child is a piece of both of you, presumably who love each other, my thought simply is, but how you spend your time/resources/life day to day as a parent might not appeal to anyone like me. The idea that a child is part of both of you is a very romantic thought but I don't think it relates to the actions of being a parent besides DNA involvement.
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