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Old 07-09-2013, 11:18 AM
 
6 posts, read 6,202 times
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My mother's death. It was two weeks before my 12th birthday.

Twenty years later and I'm still a mess. I don't want to take that risk with another person's life.
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Old 07-13-2013, 11:27 AM
 
380 posts, read 545,541 times
Reputation: 459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tele-Cat View Post
Never EVER wanted children and as soon as I could find a urologist to do the vasectomy, I was FIXED.

I didn't have any epiphany, I just didn't want children. I didn't like children when I was a child, myself. Detested most parents, too. Still do.
LOL you sound like my partner!
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Old 07-14-2013, 12:08 AM
 
3,951 posts, read 3,704,796 times
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Nah, not ultimately, but I've had moments of babysitting in which I said to myself, "Yeah, I'm not built for being responsible for children."
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Old 07-14-2013, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Cloudston, Derbyshire, England
1,032 posts, read 897,052 times
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Ha. Most of my encounters with children first off. Secondly, I'd have to be sure I was the best role model and ideal parent as I could be and in a stable happy relationship and financially stable. Not being so is a no no for having children. I am not ready at that stage in life yet being 25.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:00 PM
 
2,321 posts, read 2,085,435 times
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This is in the Philosophy section. I would never click on the Parenting section. Something got mixed up, but this is the link in my browser: An is there an event in your life that has made you never want children?
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:26 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,854,224 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tobiashen View Post
This is in the Philosophy section. I would never click on the Parenting section. Something got mixed up, but this is the link in my browser: An is there an event in your life that has made you never want children?
The thread was moved.
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Old 07-18-2013, 02:04 PM
 
Location: California
454 posts, read 598,703 times
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you could say i have few maternal instincts... yeah i liked babysitting, and was overjoyed when my only nephew was born, but really didn't want to have my own.. whether or not i would have been a good parent will never be manifest, i just always knew i never wanted to be a Mom.

guess if everyone felt like me the world's populace woud be zero zip zilch LOL!

Kids are cute... just not for me
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Old 07-18-2013, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
14,191 posts, read 9,043,946 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyLuvsToTravel View Post
you could say i have few maternal instincts... yeah i liked babysitting, and was overjoyed when my only nephew was born, but really didn't want to have my own.. whether or not i would have been a good parent will never be manifest, i just always knew i never wanted to be a Mom.

guess if everyone felt like me the world's populace woud be zero zip zilch LOL!

Kids are cute... just not for me
My late 2nd wife felt similarly. She toyed with the idea of kids briefly during her first marriage but her husband was flaky at holding down jobs and she didn't feel he'd be good in the role model or provider department, and as it turned out, the marriage would have ended in divorce, which is never easy on kids.

But she was not mommy material either. When I married her, I had two teens whose biological mother was nowhere to be found, and my new wife just was tone deaf and ham-fisted as a mother. No shame in that, but she just had no idea how to approach it. In retrospect I realize now, given that I had kids, I should have constrained my choices in mates to someone who was either able to fill that role more intuitively or at least to deal with it more realistically. It has strained my relationship with my children in ways that are only now healing, largely thanks to my current wife, who is definitely a Momma Bear(tm) and has really worked to bring us all together.

I salute you for knowing yourself and not getting into some role either unthinkingly or out of social pressure. You're a lot happier for it anyway.
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Old 07-18-2013, 03:03 PM
 
354 posts, read 245,487 times
Reputation: 105
When human population crossed the 2 billion mark we all should have been questioning whether we should have children or not. Sadly, as the population has crossed the 7 billion mark, most human are still not asking that question. One wonders if they'll begin asking the question when it crosses the 10 billion mark. Probably not, most humans are myopic to the fact that most, if not all our social difficulties are directly related to how many of us there are to support.
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Old 07-21-2013, 08:05 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
16,392 posts, read 5,329,362 times
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The event that shaped my decision not to be a mother was my father's remarriage when I was 11 years old. (He had been awarded full custody after my parents' divorce). I had always been the youngest with an older brother to look after me, and I liked it that way. Suddenly I had a 26-year-old stepmother with three small children aged 3, 5 and 7.

Neither my brother nor I liked my stepmother, and the feeling was mutual. Shortly after the marriage my brother bailed out and went to live with our mom and stepdad. So in a matter of weeks, I went from being the youngest with one sibling to being the oldest of four. I hated it! Both my father and stepmother worked full time, so I ended up doing an awful lot of (unpaid) babysitting.

I learned very quickly that taking care of young children is a lot of work with few rewards. I also lost my freedom and my privacy, which was a very big consideration for a bookish, shy introvert. The experience of being an unwilling big sister made me realize that I need my space and that I don't enjoy being around children. I have never regretted my decision and was lucky enough to marry a man who had no interest in being a father.
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