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Not sure where to post this. This is about perspective. One time I noticed how a woman would call a man "a creep". But then when a different man approaches her and does the same thing, she responds positively, like she is approving of the action.
So sometimes, when you do everything just right, BUT the woman is not into you, you get called a "creep". Somehow doesn't seem fair to me.
A true creep should be the one that is doing things that are perverse somehow or obscene. But then again, if a fat guy does something sexual, that may seem obscene to me while observing a hot shapely guy doing the same thing may seem as a turn on. Doesn't seem fair either. But I guess that's life.
For some reason, when I see women (who are not in shape), acting as though they are models (Drop Dead Diva show, as an example) it looks very ridiculous. But why? Why shouldn't they act this way? The same with guys...
We are just programmed to perceive things a certain way and to react to things a certain way, maybe even for no good reason. Although the reasons are probably there, just not easily seen.
Like when we see a shape, our brain goes: beep beep beep... calculating the shape and then goes: beep beep beep: acceptable parameters....than the brain sends signals to our chemical factory and pushes that button which makes certain chemicals pour out... and we get our feelings of excitement or some other good feelings.
Or beep beep beep - unacceptable...discard... and then the button is pushed which makes the negative chemicals pour out the feelings that make us feel "oh, please go away".
I think we mostly just react and respond based on our internal programming. Our body/brain is following the algorithms, the step by step computing instructions written inside of us somehow.
I'd say it sounds like you have this pretty well figured out. Objectivity is not a human characteristic. Integral with every thought is the complete background of everything else in the mind. How you respond to a person's actions or words is affected by what you think of the person.
I don't see this as a weakness, but simply as a fact. Consider temperatures. One temperature can be said to be hot while another is said to be cold. Neither is, in fact, hot or cold. One can be hotter or colder than another, but there is no standard by which absolute labels can be applied. Likewise, a person's words or actions have no absolute meaning. The words or actions can be compared with other words or actions, but will not have an absolute label. You aren't missing the "true" meaning by lacking some absolute meaning. The meaning of words or actions can be very different in different circumstances or when from different persons. The way the mind works could be thought of as flawed, but it's no more flawed than the nature of reality itself.
I had a teacher once who gave me the creeps. He ended up in prison for life.
Being a creep is hard to define but if he or she creeps me out, then he or she is (to me) a creep.
I am not sure that identical actions from different people cause such different reactions. But if someone says something that is weird, or really morbid, or way too personal, then that person is a creep in my book. Being a creep doesn't necessarily mean a fat or disheveled person. Or does it? Are my definitions dated?
"Creep" is just a term of revulsion for "the Other whom I fear". Of course, as Trayvon Marin found out, this fear can sometimes be quite justified. In the context of the OP it's probably just a sloppy synonym for "not subjectively attracted to you for reasons even I don't understand and won't bother to evaluate".
I long ago gave up trying to figure out people's motivations and feelings, and just require acceptable behavior from them and leave them to sort out whether or not they want me in their lives.
I had a teacher once who gave me the creeps. He ended up in prison for life.
Being a creep is hard to define but if he or she creeps me out, then he or she is (to me) a creep.
I am not sure that identical actions from different people cause such different reactions. But if someone says something that is weird, or really morbid, or way too personal, then that person is a creep in my book. Being a creep doesn't necessarily mean a fat or disheveled person. Or does it? Are my definitions dated?
I thought that a creepy person is someone who has something wrong with him, something abnormal (creepy).
But now that I think about it, maybe people have a different meaning when they say the word creep. I think sometimes it's the same as "jerk" maybe?
Creepy is another overused term. Often by people who judge others for not being socially graceful or following the latest trends. That's not to say that there aren't creepers skulking about out there, but not nearly as many as you hear the term used. It's all subjective, but honestly, if someone is willing to label another as creepy for something trivial, they aren't worth your time anyway.
Words are only part of the communication. They may not even be more than half. Except for some basic things like "i need food" or "give me that" most of what we say matters at about the fluff level of how we say it.
Not sure where to post this. This is about perspective. One time I noticed how a woman would call a man "a creep". But then when a different man approaches her and does the same thing, she responds positively, like she is approving of the action.
So sometimes, when you do everything just right, BUT the woman is not into you, you get called a "creep". Somehow doesn't seem fair to me.
A true creep should be the one that is doing things that are perverse somehow or obscene. But then again, if a fat guy does something sexual, that may seem obscene to me while observing a hot shapely guy doing the same thing may seem as a turn on. Doesn't seem fair either. But I guess that's life.
For some reason, when I see women (who are not in shape), acting as though they are models (Drop Dead Diva show, as an example) it looks very ridiculous. But why? Why shouldn't they act this way? The same with guys...
We are just programmed to perceive things a certain way and to react to things a certain way, maybe even for no good reason. Although the reasons are probably there, just not easily seen.
Like when we see a shape, our brain goes: beep beep beep... calculating the shape and then goes: beep beep beep: acceptable parameters....than the brain sends signals to our chemical factory and pushes that button which makes certain chemicals pour out... and we get our feelings of excitement or some other good feelings.
Or beep beep beep - unacceptable...discard... and then the button is pushed which makes the negative chemicals pour out the feelings that make us feel "oh, please go away".
I think we mostly just react and respond based on our internal programming. Our body/brain is following the algorithms, the step by step computing instructions written inside of us somehow.
I think when I see an unshapely woman promoting her sexual appeal, physically like that, there's more to it than simply 'is she acceptable looking'. For a start, she will almost always have a look in her eye that either doesn't care that what she's doing seems silly, or a look in her eye that knows it's silly because, regarding her unshapeliness, she will be forcing the act and I'll be able to sense the lack of confidence in her.
It feels like she's lying to me; being something that she isn't because she wants to be viewed the same as the women who can 'get away' with dancing provocatively. That says to me 'this woman isn't happy with who she is' and that in itself brings me to an emotional place where I feel empathy for her unhappiness rather than the desire to have sex with her.
It's not that she's terribly unattractive, or that she's a 'creep', she's a human that's down on herself, but that just doesn't illicit a sexual response. I wouldn't think 'go away', but I know that a lot of people would be programmed to have that kind of vomit response because they lack the ability to regulate their focus on the exterior. in otherwords, they won't give you the time of day, even for friendship.
Take the same unshapely girl coming up to me and setting a drink down, folding her glasses into her case and beginning to have an insightful and intriguing conversation with me about the dynamics of human behavior with the opposite sex, while she points out the young, attractive woman dancing across the way, as an innate example of how the human mind perceives socially acceptable standards for human actions, and throw in a few batting eyelids and sarcastic comments, chances are I'll take her phone number and have a few more drinks that night.
But then, I've never really seen much appeal in the good looking girl on the dance-floor acting like she's deservedly earned the approval of everything in the room that has a penis. Being born beautiful isn't exactly a lifetime's achievements.
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