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Old 08-14-2013, 02:39 PM
 
9,173 posts, read 7,032,243 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
This is definitely one of the potential consequences "kids" need to be aware of.
Yes, and I think if kids were not taught that girls who have sex are sluts, that would be a good first step toward eliminating that as a consequence.

After all, where does that particular notion come from in the first place?
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Old 08-14-2013, 03:45 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,378,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
What a laugh. Can you really see yourself saying this to a 12-14 year old? Unless you take the Marine Boot Camp/Onward Christian Soldiers approach they will just turn down the volume. But how would this hearts and flowers message sound from a drill sergeant?
This message is not intended for a 12-14 year old.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,277 posts, read 5,153,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Most people don't regret the things that they do but rather the things that they don't do.

Clearly drugs are an entirely different thing than having a one night stand of safe sex.
I know PLENTY of people who regret the things they did do, and those things usually involve sex.

Count me in the camp of those who don't want our kids to have casual sex.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:30 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,830,534 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Most people don't regret the things that they do but rather the things that they don't do.

Clearly drugs are an entirely different thing than having a one night stand of safe sex.
Both can have a significant impact and whether or not that is positive depends on a number of variables. That's the case for a million things in life I guess. I have never met a person that regrets not having a ONS. Rather, I know a number of people that regret them. I have no idea how it's going to go as far as raising her, but I hope she develops into a mindful and purposeful of woman. That will be my intent, in part, as I raise her.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,690 posts, read 26,659,739 times
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I hope that my kids have all kinds of sex. that is one important thing in a marriage. I know that it is important to my wife and me.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:51 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,779 posts, read 18,681,251 times
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Oh my god Im really on the other side here cause I dont think that letter had any place in a newspaper at all he should have just let friends see it and gotten their opinion on it . My Lord my mother had me so scared of men and boys by the time I was going to college I did not date for the first two yrs of college . my mother was a tyrant .
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:48 PM
 
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So I don't really feel one way or another about the actual article. He's mostly saying premarital sex isn't the end of the world and he hopes his daughters have good sex and I agree.

I was raised by pretty liberal parents who knew I was on the pill in high school and let me stay over at my boyfriends' houses. I didn't sleep around but I had sex earlier and with one or two more people than I wish I had.

I wish my parents had made a couple of things clearer to me. Things not mentioned in this article.

1) Sex is not power. I was under the impression that being as interested in sex and as willing to be sexual without attachment was a feminist statement. I will teach my children that attaching love to physical intimacy isn't a mistake and it doesn't make you old fashioned or weak.

2) Sex is better with someone you care about and have sex with often. ONS aren't generally "good sex" they're just kind of rushed and awkward.

3) Take a look at the person you're about to sleep with and think "no matter what there is a tiny possibility that I could get pregnant" is this the person that you're willing to walk down that road with?

Just a few things that I thought were missing from the "have good sex" column.
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Old 08-14-2013, 08:08 PM
 
2,683 posts, read 4,381,267 times
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Look, I have a son and the same thinking applies for a daughter. You just don't think or worry about the quality of their sex life. As long as your kid is happy with their choices, consider yourself lucky.
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Old 08-14-2013, 08:13 PM
 
Location: North America
14,210 posts, read 10,068,937 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
Aside from parents having an appropriate "birds and the bees" discussion with their children regarding how human reproduction works, I guess I just don't see why the father should have to concern himself or try to influence his daughter, either way, regarding this subject. It just seems kinda taboo, in a certain sense...



People are free to do whatever it is that makes them happy of course, but you will never see me saying that casual physical relations are a good thing -- because I don't believe it's emotionally healthy or beneficial to the participants involved. That would be like saying "pump and dump" is OK, to put it in a less-euphemistic way. It surprises me that more people are not alarmed and seriously unhappy with the recent attempts by society to promote things like FWB, ONS, and casual relations as socially-acceptable, and even glamorous. If young adults are going to inevitably engage in physical relations, society should at least also give them a viable path to do so in a long-term, more stable kind of way (which it currently doesn't provide for), instead of pushing casual relations on them as the only possible way to satisfy their biological urges. IMO, young people are effectively forced into needing to have casual relations, because there is really no other alternative for them. Human beings already have the biological capability to reproduce at 18 for example, so why does society push them to wait until say 28-30+ to form a permanent, long-term romantic bond?? That is in itself extremely unjust, and a vast disservice to young people...it's like telling young people "until you're 28-30 or older, you can only lease/use a person romantically, for x amount of time, but you can't be with them permanently, even if you want to."

I doubt he is trying to influence his daughter at all because there is nothing in there in regards to what he expects her to do sexually. All he wants for her to do is enjoy the sex she has. It might be with the bf she will eventually marry, or 20 different people. In the end that will be her choice to make. Most people my age, and younger still have relationships. The fwb, or casual hookup is usually the exception rather than the rule. It's normally the product of sexual frustration in between relationships. And isn't as common as one might think. I fail to see where society is pushing people to wait till 28-30. IN reality that has to do with the times. People live longer these days, and are more likely to go to college. By the time you get out at 21-22 you want a few years to work,play, and build up money. With all of that going on people have less desire to get married young. And in reality that is a good thing, because the longer you delay marriage the less likely you are to divorce.
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:10 PM
 
545 posts, read 1,143,387 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
So I don't really feel one way or another about the actual article. He's mostly saying premarital sex isn't the end of the world and he hopes his daughters have good sex and I agree.

I was raised by pretty liberal parents who knew I was on the pill in high school and let me stay over at my boyfriends' houses. I didn't sleep around but I had sex earlier and with one or two more people than I wish I had.

I wish my parents had made a couple of things clearer to me. Things not mentioned in this article.

1) Sex is not power. I was under the impression that being as interested in sex and as willing to be sexual without attachment was a feminist statement. I will teach my children that attaching love to physical intimacy isn't a mistake and it doesn't make you old fashioned or weak.

2) Sex is better with someone you care about and have sex with often. ONS aren't generally "good sex" they're just kind of rushed and awkward.

3) Take a look at the person you're about to sleep with and think "no matter what there is a tiny possibility that I could get pregnant" is this the person that you're willing to walk down that road with?

Just a few things that I thought were missing from the "have good sex" column.
Just wanted to say that I really like your response and approach. I still have a good amount of time before I'll have to worry about this, but I can't help but think of how I'm going to handle these topics and discussions when the time comes. Your three points are great and are probably close to the approach I'd take.
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