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Old 08-13-2013, 07:42 PM
 
12,115 posts, read 9,870,711 times
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I thought to put this in parenting, my preferred forum where most of the folks are smart and pretyy with it. But then I thought, that is boring as they would mostly agree with me. Then I thought, if more people were raised this way, there would be fewer problems.

Thoughts?

Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,141 posts, read 41,752,473 times
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Revolutionary? I don't think so. I mean, I would hope most parents can want this for their children. Not WHILE they are children, of course.

But of course many parents don't even feel comfortable enough to feel this way about their own lives, so I'm not sure they can be the big enough person to wish this much good fortune for their kids.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:12 PM
 
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I liked this quote:

It doesn’t lessen you to give someone else pleasure. It doesn’t degrade you to have some of your own. And anyone who implies otherwise is a man who probably thinks very poorly of women underneath the surface.
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Southern California
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Sex is fun and I want my children (when they're of age) to have as much fun as possible.

[live life!]
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Old 08-13-2013, 08:40 PM
 
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I like this. I think more parents need to be like this.

I always appreciated that my parents trusted me when it came to sex. My mother was always open, whether it was asking about birth control or anything else. She said to always tell her if I had a problem/got in trouble, and I truly believed that. I had a few crappy relationships, but not because of how my parents responded to my sex life.

My father has always been very welcoming of any boyfriends I brought home, too. If they were jerks, he'd tell me how it was, but never made me feel like I was any sort of property.

I also think this makes your kids rebel less. I feel/felt safe (since I'm an adult I don't feel strongly anymore) with my parents in regards to sex, and it wasn't taboo. Good for this father.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:39 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,511 posts, read 8,751,470 times
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What a laugh. Can you really see yourself saying this to a 12-14 year old? Unless you take the Marine Boot Camp/Onward Christian Soldiers approach they will just turn down the volume. But how would this hearts and flowers message sound from a drill sergeant?
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:50 PM
 
5,385 posts, read 6,523,649 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I thought to put this in parenting, my preferred forum where most of the folks are smart and pretyy with it. But then I thought, that is boring as they would mostly agree with me. Then I thought, if more people were raised this way, there would be fewer problems.

Thoughts?

Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex
IDK, the article seemed kinda creepy, to me...why the father's strange fixation on his daughter's intimate life? It also seemed to be strongly promoting a "Casual physical relations, FWB, and ONS are a good thing" POV...

ETA: FWIW, when I first went to college, my parent actually bought me a box of condoms, which shocked me at the time because they were always previously so socially-conservative, when it came to those sorts of things. I never had to use the condoms at all though, because I am personally strongly against casual physical intercourse, as a rule for myself (I'm not judging others who believe differently, though...it's just not right for me). For me, intercourse without love and devotion and a marriage-intended commitment are not "fun", but rather a train-wreck disaster and an emotional heartbreak waiting to happen. For me, I need a certain sense of permanency and that something is going to last for the long haul (i.e., either marriage or an engagement going directly toward marriage) before I can even seriously consider full intimacy...

Last edited by Phoenix2017; 08-13-2013 at 10:00 PM.. Reason: Adds
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:17 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,141 posts, read 41,752,473 times
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I didn't take it as a speech you actually give your teen.

I saw it more as a personal philosophy that guides the parent WHILE they are raising their teens.

Often the unspoken messages are the loudest, and if a parent is raising a teen in an atmosphere of fear, kids pick up on that. It is very confusing for them.

Of course, the fact that this dad "blogs about polyamory" should make the kid's life interesting enough.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:27 AM
 
35,109 posts, read 40,193,301 times
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eh, whether you "raise" your child like this or not they will do what they choose to do which is evident with all the unwanted pregnancies within almost every age group.

This certainly is nothing close to "revolutionary", a lot of hippies raised their children this way in the 1960's or whatever era it was that hippies were popular.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:59 AM
 
12,115 posts, read 9,870,711 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
IDK, the article seemed kinda creepy, to me...why the father's strange fixation on his daughter's intimate life?
Interseting that you see a fixation. " I donít want to hear about the fine details because, heck, I donít want those visuals any more than my daughter wants mine. "


Quote:
It also seemed to be strongly promoting a "Casual physical relations, FWB, and ONS are a good thing" POV...
You contend that it is a bad thing? Do you ASSUME it is a bad thing?

Quote:
ETA: FWIW, when I first went to college, my parent actually bought me a box of condoms, which shocked me at the time because they were always previously so socially-conservative, when it came to those sorts of things. I never had to use the condoms at all though, because I am personally strongly against casual physical intercourse, as a rule for myself (I'm not judging others who believe differently, though...it's just not right for me). For me, intercourse without love and devotion and a marriage-intended commitment are not "fun", but rather a train-wreck disaster and an emotional heartbreak waiting to happen.
Well I guess that is exactly the message I DON'T want my kids to have.

"Yes, all these boys and girls and genderqueers may break your heart, and that in turn will break mine. Iíve held you, sobbing, after your boyfriend cheated on you, and it tore me in two. But you know what would tear me in two even more? To see you in a glass cage..."

I don't believe in avoiding heartbreak. Life IS heartbreak. And for the emotionally strong, learning from heartbreak and getting past it. Love is not something that happens only once ever in your whole life. Even love is something you need to learn. Being so afraid of pain that you fear to live and love IS a cage.
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