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Think of this town in Nebraska. With it being so isolated, those kids are exposed to nothing in the world. They can't get proper career advice - no one in the town can have a proper career in today's economy because the place is so isolated. The variety and diversity of experiences needed to excel in today's world are not available here. A quality education is not likely to be had here, as there are so few people that there are probably few talented individuals left (if any) to teach the next generation. Yes, the kids from this town are at a disadvantage because they are exposed to NOTHING they need to be exposed to in order to succeed in today's changing society.
Sure, this town might be small, safe, and quaint, but rural America is as much Mingo County, WV as it is about small town Nebraska
Get serious There are kids who live in refugee camps in Sudan until they are 12 years old, and come to the USA and by the time they are 18 they are valedictorians at large suburban high schools and getting full ride scholarships to Ivy League schools. It takes a teenager no time at all to adapt to an environment when he has previously been "exposed to NOTHING they need to be exposed to in order to succeed in today's changing society."
Do you really think that a kid has no chance of making it in the academic or professional world unless he has South Bronx street smarts and survived an inner city school?
Strange question as this has little to do with parenting, and everything to do with economics. People live where they can get a job. They get jobs where they are qualified to work. If everyone lived in the city we would all die of starvation. Agriculture and natural resources are the reason for rural development.
Good point, except people in small towns don't work with agriculture or natural resources. The people who do that live in rural areas, where there are no towns.
Small towns literally are the worst of everything and the best of nothing.
They have all the bad things that big cities have: enough people to cause problems (some mentioned by the OP), but not enough things to do.
They also have all the bad things about rural living, without the benefits of that either: isolated living, limited opportunities - but no large tracks of land, no self-sustainability, etc.
The only benefit that a small town offers is that they are generally cheaper. But, since they are small towns, there are often a lack of good jobs, meaning that you likely have to commute to work and you end up paying tons of money for gas in addition to wasting time driving.
I grew up in a small town (~8,000) but despite that I got into a good college in a "big city" (~300,000 urban area) and stayed after I graduated. I lived there for a total of 10 years, then I moved to a slightly smaller city (~200,000 urban area), which I also enjoy. I don't plan on ever going back to living in a "small town" ever again!
Last edited by JoulesMSU; 10-14-2013 at 12:48 AM..
So, I responded (above) after reading just the first two posts of the thread.
I went back and read more and I have to say that the kind of mentality shown by many is a reason that welfare and poverty is such a problem in this country. Many respondents seem to look down at the "bashing" of small towns and say "that's just how it is" - but the OP is correct, living in a small town vastly limits your opportunities.
The problem is - people think they have a "right" to live where their "roots" are. They think that if they can't find work there, they should get "help". It never occurs to them that they should LEAVE and go somewhere better.
I give the OP credit for coming to this realization. I understand it's a difficult position to be in, but I think the sooner you can get out, the better. Obviously it depends on your area. In your case, I would advise that you make the drive down to Knoxville (or Charlotte, if you prefer to get out of TN) and find the cheapest apartment you can get. Then get out and look for work. You might not find your ideal job right away, but it would be hard to not find anything. Work in a restaurant or grocery store for a little bit if you have to, it's at least a paycheck to cover your bills. This is possible because you will have a much greater chance of finding work there than you will in Kingsport (which I had to look up, never heard of it). From there, once you get a job and get settled in, your first lease will eventually expire and you can find a better apartment that suits your needs and your budget, etc. But the first step is getting there. Yes, it'll be hard, but I think it'll pay off for you.
I grew up in Hillsdale County in Michigan. It is the least populated county in ALL of southern Michigan! I went up to Lansing for college at Michigan State and stuck around the Lansing area. There were a lot more job opportunities and I eventually got the great job I was looking for. Five years later (2013!), the experience I got with my Lansing job allowed me to get a job in Portland, Maine - a place I'd visited in 2011 and thought would be amazing to live in. I guarantee I would have never ended up in Portland this fast if I had gone back to Hillsdale County after graduating.
My sister is the opposite. She did go back (well, she never really left). As such, she's struggling. Both her and her husband struggle to find work, they need welfare and stuff to get by. Every time they complain about their financial situation I always tell them the same thing: "move to Lansing". I know they would both be better off there, they would both find work easier, they would have money, they would also have things to do. But they are afraid, so they just stay where they are, and continue to struggle...
My wife's sister is in the same situation. My wife is from "the county" here in Maine (another reason that I moved here - for her)... she got out of the small town and went to college in Bangor and then moved to Lansing for work, and now we're back in Maine, but in Portland. These are all "big cities" compared to where we grew up. But her sister? Nope, still living in the small town. Still struggling to find work, to support herself. We tell her to "move to Bangor" (or, lately, come all the way to Portland)... but nope, she's just like my sister. Reluctant, afraid of making a big move.
It is scary, but it has to be done. I don't think it's a coincidence that out of the four of us, the two who left and went to the big city are doing well and the two who stayed back in the small town are struggling. You have to take the risk, make the move, and more often than not it will pay off. What's the worst that could happen? You end up failing and going back to the small town? That's where you would be anyways if you never tried to leave!
In big cities there are more jobs, more people to meet, more things to do. It's just a better quality of life. Sure, maybe it's not the end of the world to raise kids in small towns, but it IS the end of the world if they get stuck there. You need to encourage/help them to leave.
Last edited by JoulesMSU; 10-14-2013 at 01:23 AM..
Why do parents continue to raise children in small, rural towns where schools are of bad quality, drug abuse and crime is high, poverty is systemic, and opportunities for advancement are low?
I grew up in small town TN where the schools and universities were of poor quality. Because I grew up in a bad area and went to a bad high school, getting interest from good universities was difficult. Without the proper academic pedigree, getting into graduate school or attracting the interest of a quality employer was difficult, no matter how strong your individual merits are. So the cycle of rural poverty moves on.
My family had job offers in other areas that were more prosperous, but foolishly failed to take them to stay close to their family. Ultimately growing up in a rural ghetto with poor parents shortchanged me of opportunities I would have otherwise had, along with condemning my parents to absolute poverty in old age. We live in an area that is as politically corrupt and nearly as violent as Detroit.
Why do people hold the small town as an ideal for raising children, when most small towns can be shown to be demonstrably inferior in every social metric to major urban areas?
None of these 'facts' are true of all small, rural towns. Certainly some might fit the descriptors but not all by any means.
People of quality character, strong work ethic and with a positive attitude are in demand anywhere. But success, whether in a rural or urban setting, will not likely just come to you. Those who do well in life have made some plans, had some setbacks as well as successes, and likely have had mentors they could turn to for advice, be them parents, relatives, neighbors, or others.
Opportunity needs preparation and thought to find fruition. There are plenty of educated, skilled losers around. It takes the whole package to go places in this world. We are not born with a guarantee of success. And certainly for some, the chips are stacked against them. But some of this country's best and brightest come from a rural, small town background. Many would not trade that upbringing for anything. In fact, if you ask them, I submit that most would tell you that their small town heritage is part of their strengths, not their weaknesses.
I think this only applies to poor and working-class towns. It doesn't apply to real nice wealthy ones like Greenich or Darien, CT. Those types of towns literally have the best everything. Best economy, best education, best quality of living, and close proximity to places where there is major opportunity such as NYC. So I don't think every small town is bad. Just the po-dunk poor ones.
60 Minutes ran a special on disability abuse in WV/KY a week ago Sunday detailing the epidemic of SSDI and welfare abuse here in rural America. This past Sunday they ran a special on the fall of Detroit. Both places were depressed ruins full of people living on the edge, but at least bigger cities like Detroit can attract investment and attention to help get back on their feet. Detroit got about $300 million from the Feds for Urban renewal recently. Dying rural areas will just be left to slowly bleed out.
60 Minutes ran a special on disability abuse in WV/KY a week ago Sunday detailing the epidemic of SSDI and welfare abuse here in rural America. This past Sunday they ran a special on the fall of Detroit. Both places were depressed ruins full of people living on the edge, but at least bigger cities like Detroit can attract investment and attention to help get back on their feet. Detroit got about $300 million from the Feds for Urban renewal recently. Dying rural areas will just be left to slowly bleed out.
Great! Move to Detroit!
PS: Detroit's problems have nothing to do with getting urban renewal funds. All the money thrown at it over the last 5 decades didn't help.
I grew up in a town of 8,000 people - typical small town southeast Texas. Everyone knew everyone and had no problem being in your business, so my mama knew if I misbehaved before I even made it home. Most of us behaved...although we did have an alcohol issue because we lived close enough to Louisiana to go buy as much alcohol as we wanted. Our doors were never locked, keys stayed in the cars, and kids roamed wild.
Teachers identified the gifted students who wanted more advanced training and put together self-directed study programs in the high school. There wasn't anyone to teach AP government, for example, - but here's a copy of a college curriculum, the school will buy the textbook, and one of the regular teachers will grade the assignments. More work for the teacher, more work for me and the only other girl who signed up, but we got college credit for it.
School counselors didn't know about scholarships. A few of us students did the research and passed out the applications to the rest of the seniors - and showed a few of the juniors where to look the next year.
Most of the kids stayed in the area, taking jobs with lesser pay so that they could be close to family and friends. Some got degrees, some learned trades, some get by. Some of us left the area for better opportunities.
I wouldn't go back to that particular area because I can't get a good job there...but I have no problem raising my kids in a similar environment within driving distance to something I can do well.
So, I responded (above) after reading just the first two posts of the thread.
I went back and read more and I have to say that the kind of mentality shown by many is a reason that welfare and poverty is such a problem in this country. Many respondents seem to look down at the "bashing" of small towns and say "that's just how it is" - but the OP is correct, living in a small town vastly limits your opportunities.
The problem is - people think they have a "right" to live where their "roots" are. They think that if they can't find work there, they should get "help". It never occurs to them that they should LEAVE and go somewhere better.
You still missed the point of why most people aren't applauding the OP. The OP is NOT really talking about the limiting opportunities for adults in small towns, but indicting his/her parents and the town where he/she grew up as the causes of his/her own issues as an adult.
The OP grew up in Kingsport, TN, population 50,000+ not some isolated community of less than 1000 people in the middle of no where. The OP has a bachelor's degree, still lives in Kingsport, and is unhappy because he/she doesn't have a high paying job. The OP is blaming growing up in Kingsport for the fact that he/she didn't go to a more prestigious college, didn't choose a more marketable major, and hasn't gotten off his/her butt to find a better job somewhere else. He/she assumes that if he/she had been raised in Nashville or Atlanta or Washington, DC that his/her life would be SOOOOOO much better.
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