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Old 09-24-2013, 11:19 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,615,817 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
I grew up in small town TN where the schools and universities were of poor quality. Because I grew up in a bad area and went to a bad high school, getting interest from good universities was difficult.
That is complete crap. Colleges look at GPA, class rank, SAT/ACT, and challenging curriculum. If you went to a "bad" rural school, why didn't you graduate in the top 10%? Why didn't you take AP exams? That's what good colleges are looking for. Don't tell me it is because your school was "bad." Accelerated programs are funded at the state level.

Also, it may interest you that many private schools give scholarships and grants to people from rural areas to increase their diversity. My daughter went to a "bad" school in rural West Virginia and had no problem being accepted and getting scholarships at competitive colleges in several states. And any kid who graduates from a state high school in WV with a 3.6 average or higher gets free tuition at any public college in the state. 10 other states have similar programs.

Excuses, excuses. Pathetic.
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Old 09-24-2013, 11:19 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 3,389,402 times
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Moving to Philosophy...
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Old 09-24-2013, 11:19 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,015,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
I'm not from Brentwood, and because I earn so little ($25k after a bachelors, seven certifications and three years experience), it's difficult to leave. I am not fortunate enough to live in an area that is commutable for interviews to a prosperous area like Brentwood. The point of this thread is that where a person is born and raised largely determines where they end up in an economy that is inflexible. Parents who raise their children in bad areas just destroy they child's future prospects


Where a person ends up is determined by where they CHOOSE to end up not where they are born.
There is no way I would raise a child in a huge city, the one my children were raised in was even too big and comparatively it is a smaller city.
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Old 09-25-2013, 01:41 AM
 
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Sue your parents for wrongful birth, a fine gentleman like yourself should have been conceived by an upper class couple.
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Old 09-25-2013, 01:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Where a person ends up is determined by where they CHOOSE to end up not where they are born.
It's all in our head, all physical and social reality be damned. No wonder USA is #1 in self-help industries capitalizing on ever increasing status anxiety.
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Old 09-25-2013, 03:13 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Where a person ends up is determined by where they CHOOSE to end up not where they are born.
There is no way I would raise a child in a huge city, the one my children were raised in was even too big and comparatively it is a smaller city.
Same here. We moved our family from a city environment, escalating crime, crowded schools, etc. to the rural outskirts of a small borough where we found the schools to be superior. There's plenty of outdoor diversions not found in the city - hiking, fishing, swimming in fresh water lakes, safe roads for bike riding, etc. Every summer/fall there's a local township fair at least every other week. Drugs and crime (mostly DUI's and underage drinking) do exist, though we have personally had no experience of them. We are not sorry we moved here. Both our kids did well here - one runs a health food business and the other is an artist.

I have to admit, for a while our oldest daughter lamented moving to such a quiet place where there was no "mall", but many years later she and her DH purchased a home that is even MORE rural than ours - near a town even smaller - in which to raise their family.

Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 09-25-2013 at 03:27 AM..
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Old 09-25-2013, 03:24 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 4,466,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
Why do people hold the small town as an ideal for raising children, when most small towns can be shown to be demonstrably inferior in every social metric to major urban areas?
Because people apprehend reality through narratives, not facts. People buy into a general story of what reality is, and act in accordance with that story. When you present people with facts that contradict their chosen narrative, they usually just deny the facts. They don't suddenly revise their entire world view.

A very strong narrative has existed in this country for a long time is that small towns are good and cities are bad. People deeply believe in it. Belief usually trumps reality.
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Old 09-25-2013, 06:05 AM
 
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So, by inference, mom wakes junior from his cozy nest in a mortgaged McMansion, coddles him while he fiddles with his fake electronic world. After a 'breakfast' of fake food warmed in the microwave, they hop in the leased Mercedes and whizz off to Starbucks. Mom gulps a something-or-other-phoo-phoo-goopy-sloopy while junior has an apple juice (because we are a health conscious, modern family). Down the road we jaunt to the $20,000/year pre, pre something school because junior has to get into the right college. Repeat this for pre-something, kindergarten, and then the something or other phoo-phoo private school because we wouldn't want junior to run elbows with the great unwashed.

That makes for a solid, contributing citizen when junior graduates after six years from a 'private' university with a BA in Communications and Theatre, and begins the journey to 'find himself' in the real world?

Just for the record, two grades to a classroom through sixth grade for me. Rode the bus ten miles to attend a centralized high school. Graduated with 125 folks who came from, and went on to , all walks of life: Retail clerks, nurses, gas station jockeys, management consultants, local constabulary, State Department, fork lift operator, dentist, billing clerk, lawyer, and all of the things which children from 'privileged' families found in their careers.

We didn't know about pre-anything; we went to kindergarten half day, then on to first grade. If you did well, you got promoted, if you didn't you go left behind and everyone in town knew you were a retard. You used that kick in the pants to improve yourself such that you didn't become the village idiot and carry the label of 'dumb' with you throughout your school years. If you achieved good grades you got a scholarship to college; if you didn't, you likely went to the local community college, trade school, or off to find your way in the world--perhaps as a gift from Uncle Sam's Army. There wasn't any sense of being underprivileged because we lived in the country; we laughed at the citidiots who came for the weekends to ski our snow, peep at our leaves, or swim in our pristine lakes. They were SO underprivileged having to live in the dank cities, full of crime, small houses, putrid air, and well....surrounded by their own kind.

I don't know the statistics, but I would say within reasonable measures we did as well as anyone from the 'privileged' class who came from more urban areas. Today we can be found in all walks of life, and the biggest gift which we received from growing up in a rural area? We learned how to be people; how to assist your new neighbor when his Mercedes was stuck in the snow because he didn't know he was supposed to have snow tires, or the old lady who couldn't mow her grass any longer at 95, or the man next door who just came home from the hospital and couldn't prepare a meal. It didn't matter whether they graduated from a school with a class of 500, or finished eighth grade, they were all people who did their very vest with what they had. They weren't criminals, or arrogant, or privileged, or special: they were just people.

I am pleased to be one of them.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:07 AM
 
6,904 posts, read 7,539,168 times
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Just rephrase the thread title to: "Raising your child in poverty puts the child at a tremendous disadvantage."

This applies to urban, rural, and in-between, and I would say the word "disadvantage" is accurate.

But what is also accurate is that many, many people are able to rise above the circumstances of their childhood, wherever those circumstances may be.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:31 AM
 
42,732 posts, read 29,747,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
Why do parents continue to raise children in small, rural towns where schools are of bad quality, drug abuse and crime is high, poverty is systemic, and opportunities for advancement are low?

I grew up in small town TN where the schools and universities were of poor quality. Because I grew up in a bad area and went to a bad high school, getting interest from good universities was difficult. Without the proper academic pedigree, getting into graduate school or attracting the interest of a quality employer was difficult, no matter how strong your individual merits are. So the cycle of rural poverty moves on.

My family had job offers in other areas that were more prosperous, but foolishly failed to take them to stay close to their family. Ultimately growing up in a rural ghetto with poor parents shortchanged me of opportunities I would have otherwise had, along with condemning my parents to absolute poverty in old age. We live in an area that is as politically corrupt and nearly as violent as Detroit.

Why do people hold the small town as an ideal for raising children, when most small towns can be shown to be demonstrably inferior in every social metric to major urban areas?
Wherever you raise your child, there are advantages and disadvantages. Parents weigh the realities of THEIR situation, and make the choices that they feel are best for themselves and for their children. Schools in small towns are not always of bad quality, schools in large urban centers aren't always of good quality. Drug abuse is present in small towns and in large cities. Crime happens in small towns and in large cities. Poverty is present in small towns and in large cities.

I grew up in small town ARKANSAS. And I had lots of interest from colleges and universities all over the country. Top-tier schools. Your academic "pedigree" involves much more than the location of your high school. And in small communities, it is often easier to build an academic resume that is well-rounded and filled with accomplishments, because you are competing with fewer students.

Your parents decided that the support network and affiliation with family was a priority. That has a lot of value. The value may be intangible, and you may not perceive that value, but your parents did perceive the value. While you may wish for the advantages that come from growing up in a more urban setting, and there certainly are advantages from that upbringing, at some point you have to simply stop focusing on the what-might-have-beens, and focus on the advantages that your parents did give you by their choices, and build on your own talents and abilities to move forward with your life.
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