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So why did you choose to impose death on your children?
The afterlife is so frightening.
You live an unfulfilled or painful life then you die to go into an even worse afterlife. A never ending cycle. I'm often bitter toward my parents for having me. People should be mindful of why they have children, its often selfish.
I don't think you understand what a diagnosis is. I haven't offered one, rather only a note of what you appear to be doing.
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My children deserved, and got, an apology from me for their crappy childhood due in large part to my poor judgment in mates. Whether they know what to do with it at this point in their lives, or ever, is beside the point. My guess is that when they are my age they will remember it and it will provide them with some closure and insight. Or they will forget about it, as it was a five minute matter of fact conversation and not something I harangue them about. That'd be fine by me. If they never have the existential self-reflection to sort out what's really going on, it'll be a mercy. If not, they are somewhat inoculated.
It is the same with my daughter's inexplicable need to keep having children despite the risks of passing on her mother's madness (schizophrenia) -- or in the case of the two children by her first husband, combining it with their father's madness (bipolar). I had a frank talk with her on the cusp of sending her out in the world and adjured her to either refrain from having children, or adopt. Or failing that, at least accept full responsibility for the possible consequences. Now one of her children is mentally unstable and to her it's just shyte falling from the sky. That is her responsibility; at least I discharged my responsibility in the matter. I tried to prevent more suffering. That she could not override her primal need to have children is understandable, but still an unwise risk. But I do know boundaries -- it is her life and her choice, good, bad or indifferent though it may be in my view. I'd never tell her my thoughts at this point.
Next March I will make the expected pilgrimage to meet my next grandson after his birth and I will do the requisite congratulatory dance and hope for the best, and I will move heaven and earth to make sure he knows I love him, etc. But I don't envy him.
Based on this post and your other posts it's easy to understand why you have such a poor relationship with your kids. Your Eeyore nature is probably a burden for them. Even your attempts to take some responsibility for their (yours?) situation still looks like a me-show of martyrdom. I imagine that's not an easy thing to grow up with.
In a world where there's no scientific proof of God's existence and of life after death how will you explain to your children why you brought them into the world and why they will have to die?
Having children is one of the most disgusting acts imaginable. Life is a terrible imposition on an innocent child. Parents have children either by selfishness or ignorance. People never see things this way because it serves them well.
Having children is one of the most disgusting acts imaginable. Life is a terrible imposition on an innocent child. Parents have children either by selfishness or ignorance. People never see things this way because it serves them well.
"I did my children the favor of not having them." -- Nietzsche
"I did my children the favor of not having them." -- Nietzsche
Must be easy to say when you're living, and the "children" never have or will..He's right in that with his attitude he's be better off not having children...the favor he did though, was for himself, not any non existent children.
Based on this post and your other posts it's easy to understand why you have such a poor relationship with your kids. Your Eeyore nature is probably a burden for them. Even your attempts to take some responsibility for their (yours?) situation still looks like a me-show of martyrdom. I imagine that's not an easy thing to grow up with.
From my posts, you could speculate many other things as well, and a significant number of them would be untrue, just like this one. People show different sides of themselves in different relationships and contexts. Most of the time, I am not a Debbie Downer and while I will admit to an "Eeyore nature" it is particularly not on display for my children.
Most of what you see on these fora from me or anyone else is an outlet for private thoughts that can't find expression anywhere or with anyone else -- otherwise there would be little point in spending time here. Be careful in drawing conclusions from it.
It looks like my grandchildren have 3 or 4x greater odds of developing schizophrenia than the general population, although this says nothing about the doubtless greater odds of mental health issues generally. One could rationalize that these are still not bad odds, that they can be at least somewhat guarded against in various ways, and I do understand that gene expression and environment are in play and not just genetic proclivities. Nevertheless, when there is a clear goosing of the odds against a child, known in advance, and awareness brought to it, I don't consider it ethical to impose those odds on a child in a world that (1) has plenty of people already and (2) provides many morally positive alternative outlets for parenting drives, particularly adoption.
Do we not owe it to our children to learn how to discern truth? And even more importantly, to learn to judge which truths are important to discern? To recognize it when we see it, and how to seek it when it is not readily apparent, and when it is important to know it.
It is not important to know whether George Washington actually cut down a cherry tree. But it is important to know that something that is widely held to be true is not, by that fact alone, proof that it is true. So in a case where it IS important to know the truth, our children ought to be taught how to discern it.
This, of course, is entirely the role of the parents. Children will learn almost all they know from school or from the media. Both have a powerful vested interest in representing dogma as truth, and in keeping children unlearned in the intellectual strategies for discerning the difference.
Last edited by jtur88; 11-07-2013 at 09:16 AM..
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