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Old 10-26-2013, 10:17 AM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,238,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CravingMountains View Post
I changed my whole name when I was in my early 20s. It cost about 450 dollars and a lot of paperwork but it was one of the most uplifting things I have ever done for myself.

My family still cannot accept that my name is different than what they have me at birth. I compromised with them by saying that they can certainly call me by my birth name but everyone else in society will know me by my new name. Whenever we are in a public place and I introduce myself my family throws a fit screaming "that's not his name!". I have already told my mother she is not allowed around my friends anymore because she talks to them behind my back telling them to call me by my birth name. Tomorrow, I am going to tell them that I will not join them in restaurants or bars any longer. They have had seven years to accept my new name (it has only been legal for 3 years) and that is long enough. They need to get over it or they won't see me.

Society also is usually quite take aback when I say I changed my first and last name. Especially conservative males get scared and a lot of people don't even know it is a constitutional right to do this.

FYI my birth name (first and last) was ANNOYINGLY common. I now have a very unique name that I love and am always getting compliments on.

I may change my name again if I get bored of this one! It is my right to do so! It is your children's right to do so if they want and YOU have to accept it!

Your choice to stay away from your family, also your choice to change your name anytime you want.
Their choice to refer to you as they always have.......deal with it or not.
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Old 10-26-2013, 11:00 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,202,393 times
Reputation: 17203
I think "society" couldn't care less. If I have to interact with you just spell out whatever you want to be called.

LOL "Conservative males get scared"? Dude. Get over yourself. Or did you name yourself Lorena Bobbit?

You and your whole family sound very dramatic.
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Old 10-26-2013, 05:30 PM
 
6,756 posts, read 8,314,099 times
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I think you are much too hung up on your family for someone who claims to be in his mid or late 20s.

They will call you what they want to. If they don't respect your polite, calm, non-dramatic request to do you the minor favor of calling you by your new name, then it's up to you whether you want to hang around them. But if you act dramatic, you should expect drama in return.

And same with your other friends. Your family do not control what your friends call you. If they choose to call you one name or another, you can calmly tell them that you are busy next week, and every week, if it's that big a deal to you.
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Old 10-26-2013, 05:42 PM
 
5,368 posts, read 5,153,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
I think "society" couldn't care less. If I have to interact with you just spell out whatever you want to be called.

LOL "Conservative males get scared"? Dude. Get over yourself. Or did you name yourself Lorena Bobbit?

You and your whole family sound very dramatic.
If I wanted to name myself Lorena Bobbit you better respect that and refer to me as such! Sometimes males change their name to female sounding names. We have a right in society to do that and it should be respected.
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Old 10-26-2013, 05:44 PM
 
5,368 posts, read 5,153,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I think you are much too hung up on your family for someone who claims to be in his mid or late 20s.

They will call you what they want to. If they don't respect your polite, calm, non-dramatic request to do you the minor favor of calling you by your new name, then it's up to you whether you want to hang around them. But if you act dramatic, you should expect drama in return.

And same with your other friends. Your family do not control what your friends call you. If they choose to call you one name or another, you can calmly tell them that you are busy next week, and every week, if it's that big a deal to you.
There is NOTHING non dramatic about changing your name. Understand that first! It is a very dramatic lifestyle change but the change should be facilitated by the ones that claim to love you.
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Old 10-26-2013, 06:43 PM
 
5,619 posts, read 8,552,148 times
Reputation: 7705
Quote:
Originally Posted by CravingMountains View Post
If I wanted to name myself Lorena Bobbit you better respect that and refer to me as such! Sometimes males change their name to female sounding names. We have a right in society to do that and it should be respected.
^ aha... More becomes clear.

As to "respect" and telling other people what they should say... Dont make me laugh! (too late)
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Old 10-26-2013, 07:34 PM
 
11,133 posts, read 8,540,714 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CravingMountains View Post
If I wanted to name myself Lorena Bobbit you better respect that and refer to me as such! Sometimes males change their name to female sounding names. We have a right in society to do that and it should be respected.
Are you serious?

You are correct that you can change your name to anything you want. That is your right.

However, who are you to tell other people what they "should" do? Giving someone or something respect is a choice. People have a choice in whether they respect your name or not.

You have a right to cut them off or end your relationship with them.

You can't force the world to do what you want it to do.

Are YOU really okay with your new name? If you are, then you don't need to concern yourself with those that have chosen to not accept your name. Get over it and move on.

Find new friends, whatever.
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Old 10-27-2013, 12:27 AM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,749,954 times
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LOL This is interesting... OK, John Smith becomes Charlemagne Cortage but then gets upset when those who knew him as John Smith and made references to "where's Pocahontas?" can not be made anymore.

Meanwhile, those who meet Charlemagne Cortage all get tired of asking what the meaning of his last name is and he doesn't have an answer cause he made it up. Was it really Corsage? after a flower arrangement, or is it misspelled and is supposed to be Cortege as in Charlemagne had a 'large retinue' of followers? Or was it supposed to be Cordage and you were being clever with a play on a 'Gordian knot' and the symbolism of Charlemagne on a horse carrying a sword?

And why (you wonder) do people who meet you for the first time instinctively nickname you C.C. and can not understand why you become so demonstratively obstinate that they ONLY refer to you as Charlemagne Cortage pronounced "Cor- tahj".

In all seriousness, you cannot do a thing about those who knew you before as 'John Smith' wanting to call you 'John Smith' as that is their shared history of time with you. If they interfere with your attempted new naming rights and image with new people, you need to separate from them (as if that isn't partially your intent with the name change?).

I understand people wanting to be 'unique / different' but a name change is the least affective of any change to how people perceive you. If you act like a douche before or after, people will likely still 'sniff' you out after enough quality shared time. Maybe a few will send you the classic 'Jesus Loves You' Card with the inside saying 'but everyone else thinks you're an a** whole".

I DO understand people with names that can have negative or ribald interpretations (colloquial genital terms et al) changing names depending on a variety of reasons: a prominent career where your name is a significant part of your identity. You prefer to have progeny not suffer the humiliation of inane plays on your last name etc...

And with all the weird or simply clueless attempts to be 'clever' by misguided ego driven parents who purposely name children bizarre names in an attempt to garner attention, I do foresee more people at some point wanting to change their legal name. I would even be for a law that allows children - given bizarre names by parents in an attempt to be 'cute/clever' - to, as part of their name change being allowed to 'rename' their idiot parents who gave them a 'bizarre' name whatever they want it to be legally for the same length of time the said child had to live in the public realm with a ridiculous name.

Finally, for philosophical perspective, there is a Biblical proverb that says, "A good name is better than great riches". The gist of which is - how you live and the person you demonstrate yourself to be behaviorally and personality wise in your interactions with others is more important to establishing a "GOOD Name" than one that may sound nice in a literary, artistic, or symbolic sense.

Best to you Charlemagne!
It's fun speculating!

BTW, whatever happened to 'The Artist Formerly Known As Prince'
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Old 10-27-2013, 08:34 AM
 
6,040 posts, read 4,435,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CravingMountains View Post
We have a right in society to do that and it should be respected.
Yes. And we have the right not to give a flying eff.
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Old 10-27-2013, 09:17 AM
 
994 posts, read 1,269,095 times
Reputation: 2002
Do your thing, man!

Someone is always going to have a judgment about something that you do. No point in focusing on those people. Give your attention to the people who don't judge you, and leave it at that.

By the way, your new name isn't Neo by any any chance, is it?
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