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<snip I really want to know. Given the cost, hassle, etc. of having kids, and the lack of tangible guarantee that the kids will turn out anywhere near what you'd hope your kids would become, WHY have kids? (You could get all of the negatives with very little of the positive. Your kids could disappear and never talk to you again. They might commit suicide. They might end up in jail. WHY have kids?)
I come from a family of 5 kids and I am the oldest and my life within that family was that of caretaker, caregiver, and general boss of the crew. I didn't always like the responsibility and the loss of my 'life' as a teenager but I always loved and wanted kids in my future.
I have three grown children and I have no regrets and sadly, no grandchildren but that's life.
I get the advantages of remaining childless. As retired people whose children have long since left the nest, we don’t have the expenses, we don’t have the worry, we dont have the untidiness. In other words we can live in a very controlled environment. We are free to come and go, we have nobody making noise or disrupting our lives. Extra rooms remain pristine for months at a time.
Although I understand the advantages, I can’t help but look at childless by choice people as people who are cheating. It’s like refusing to play ball because you might not win,or refusing to eat spaghetti because you might spill on your shirt. They seem like overly fussy folks who are afraid to fully participate in life.
I wouldn’t trade the mess and chaos of raising my children for anything.
I get the advantages of remaining childless. As retired people whose children have long since left the nest, we don’t have the expenses, we don’t have the worry, we dont have the untidiness. In other words we can live in a very controlled environment. We are free to come and go, we have nobody making noise or disrupting our lives. Extra rooms remain pristine for months at a time.
Although I understand the advantages, I can’t help but look at childless by choice people as people who are cheating. It’s like refusing to play ball because you might not win,or refusing to eat spaghetti because you might spill on your shirt. They seem like overly fussy folks who are afraid to fully participate in life.
I wouldn’t trade the mess and chaos of raising my children for anything.
Cheating nature that is. Thank mankind for birth control
I get the advantages of remaining childless. As retired people whose children have long since left the nest, we don’t have the expenses, we don’t have the worry, we dont have the untidiness. In other words we can live in a very controlled environment. We are free to come and go, we have nobody making noise or disrupting our lives. Extra rooms remain pristine for months at a time.
Although I understand the advantages, I can’t help but look at childless by choice people as people who are cheating. It’s like refusing to play ball because you might not win,or refusing to eat spaghetti because you might spill on your shirt. They seem like overly fussy folks who are afraid to fully participate in life.
I wouldn’t trade the mess and chaos of raising my children for anything.
I really don't understand how not having kids is cheating? Some people don't particularly like children and don't want to deal with them on a daily basis. Others like them, but don't want any of their own. I applaud them for being self-aware and not letting themselves be forced into having kids they don't want, which never ends well for the kid(s) or the reluctant parents. Too many people pop them out and can't even be bothered to provide for them or raise them to become responsible citizens. Having children shouldn't be automatic and expected, people should be encouraged to really question if parenthood is for them and if they are willing to make all the necessary adjustments and sacrifices. And if not, it should be perfectly fine to remain child-free.
By having a kid you create a human life,which is much more worth while than whatever you could do in your whole life.
No it isnt almost anyone can have a child some dont deserve to have them.. too many children are mistreated and abused... its not the most wonderful thing a person can do .. unless they want to give it their all and be the best parent that they can be... most want a doll to play with ,some want a mini me..some want someone to control .. while there are good parents who go the extra mile but its no big deal ... having children just to say youve done something wonderful... I know two lovely couples who chose not to have kids and their both kind loving people and dont need a replica of them to make them special..
By having a kid you create a human life,which is much more worth while than whatever you could do in your whole life.
your parents created you. Was that "worth while". Are you the best thing they could have done in their whole life? Most of us who look at children in future tense, as in someone in future will do something great & make it worth while. Maybe not our immediate kid but maybe a grandkid or great grandkid. The hope is why people today get kids. But we fail to look at the past, look at our ancestor & see if any greatness came out of us
Saying that, I still want kid because I want to experience that part of life. Children when young are lots of fun. It is an easy way for us to leave legacy. I know I am not going to be Steve Job or Oprah or anyone great, so my legacy will be either NOTHING or a Children.
If you do not have kids, you cannot understand why it is so awesome. It is like trying to explain faith to people who do not have faith. There is simply no way they can comprehend it.
A fascinating comparison! Indeed, as a person who regards "faith" as being purely situational and contingent, it seems to me that the putative joys of an abiding religious faith, a bedrock faith, are delusional. I say the same regarding the "joys" of parenthood. Surely those who are parents, would be in ghastly misery, if they didn't inculcate in themselves a mental-state, where having kids is engrossing, uplifting, transformative. Such an attitude may well be proper and useful; I applaud those who have it, for as I already said, my own abiding of this "mortal coil" would have been far more loathsome, if humanity as a whole ceased to procreate, and parents as a whole ceased to tend to their offspring.
But the fact that some creedal orientation is useful and conducive to success, doesn't make it fundamentally correct.
No it isnt almost anyone can have a child some dont deserve to have them.. too many children are mistreated and abused... its not the most wonderful thing a person can do .. unless they want to give it their all and be the best parent that they can be... most want a doll to play with ,some want a mini me..some want someone to control .. while there are good parents who go the extra mile but its no big deal ... having children just to say youve done something wonderful... I know two lovely couples who chose not to have kids and their both kind loving people and dont need a replica of them to make them special..
True.
True.
True.
Refreshing to see there are still conscious and intelligent people out there.........
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What is the point of having kids?
