Society needs to be more respectful to men who change their names! (humans, eastern)

[CravingMountains]

I changed my whole name when I was in my early 20s. It cost about 450 dollars and a lot of paperwork but it was one of the most uplifting things I have ever done for myself.

My family still cannot accept that my name is different than what they have me at birth. I compromised with them by saying that they can certainly call me by my birth name but everyone else in society will know me by my new name. Whenever we are in a public place and I introduce myself my family throws a fit screaming "that's not his name!". I have already told my mother she is not allowed around my friends anymore because she talks to them behind my back telling them to call me by my birth name. Tomorrow, I am going to tell them that I will not join them in restaurants or bars any longer. They have had seven years to accept my new name (it has only been legal for 3 years) and that is long enough. They need to get over it or they won't see me.

Society also is usually quite take aback when I say I changed my first and last name. Especially conservative males get scared and a lot of people don't even know it is a constitutional right to do this.

FYI my birth name (first and last) was ANNOYINGLY common. I now have a very unique name that I love and am always getting compliments on.

I may change my name again if I get bored of this one! It is my right to do so! It is your children's right to do so if they want and YOU have to accept it!

[wEirdhuMan]

I can imagine people like you have an extra fun time at the DMV.

Honestly, I am against social security numbers. Or like what they should be called "cattle tags".

Humans are dumb. Nothing but sheep being herded by their masters.

I'm against all gov't identification. The story of the Scarlett Letter describes how everyone that is born in the US since the inception of Social Security is tagged for life. It's a real sick controlled society we live in. People think they are actually free, yet they are nothing but rats in a fast paced track with millions of roads.


To your point of changing your name.

I can think of a million reasons why it was a mistake for you to do so. But I'll list a few to save time.

1. People at work, acquaintances, STALKERS, HACKERS, and others will EASILY be able to find you on the internet.
A) for example, you start a job at a new place, random employees or even the boss can type your "UNIQUE NAME" into google, and find out all about you on the internet. If you had a common name, this would be much MUCH harder and time consuming.

2. If you ever commit a crime, even one you didn't know was a crime, and your name goes on the news channel or the paper, everyone that knows you will know it was you. If you had a common name, you could say it wasn't you, but ha ha, "you thought that was me".

3. Extra papers and time and work at the DMV and other places.

4. Money. You have to spend how much to change your name?
A) And it's not really changing your name if you still have to notify the DMV and others that you've had a name change....

5. People will think you had a bad past.
A) Whether you like it or not, there are a lot of dumb people that will just assume you had a bad past, were a criminal, were accused of something criminal, were a nerd, or social outcast in your past, and that's why you changed your name.

[CravingMountains]

I won't be committing any crime. so much for that lame excuse!

And people with criminal histories have many restrictions placed on changing their name.

I am not being stalked by anyone. If I am, they sure aren't bothering me at the moment.

There could be a billion reasons not to change your name. The bottom line is that it is MY name and I can change it if I want to. Society needs to accept that.

[bayou91]

Originally Posted by wEirdhuMan

1. People at work, acquaintances, STALKERS, HACKERS, and others will EASILY be able to find you on the internet.
A) for example, you start a job at a new place, random employees or even the boss can type your "UNIQUE NAME" into google, and find out all about you on the internet. If you had a common name, this would be much MUCH harder and time consuming.

^^^THAT. I'm a female, so maybe I naturally worry about things like stalkers more than a guy would? But I was given a "unique" name at birth, it's not unique in northern or eastern Europe (though it isn't a super common name either), just unique in America. I do worry about the possibility that it could make me an easier target for online stalking or hacking.

Since I'm also doing my career search lately, I sometimes wonder if people see my name on a resume and think it's too strange or can't pronounce it so they just toss it out.

[John F S]

Your mother gave birth to you. She named you. That was a VERY special day for her - and then you turned your back on her just so you could have a "unique" name.
I'm Sorry - you sound like a jerk.

[jtur88]

If Craving Mountains is a better name, I can't imagine how bad it must have been before.

I hardly think this is the kind of Socratic issue that should be in the Philosophy forum.

[CravingMountains]

Originally Posted by jtur88

If Craving Mountains is a better name, I can't imagine how bad it must have been before.

I hardly think this is the kind of Socratic issue that should be in the Philosophy forum.

Let the mods decide where it goes. Don't post in my thread if you have on smartalec things to say.

[CravingMountains]

Originally Posted by John F S

Your mother gave birth to you. She named you. That was a VERY special day for her - and then you turned your back on her just so you could have a "unique" name.
I'm Sorry - you sound like a jerk.

I don't care what I come off as. It is MY name! Not my mothers, not my fathers. It belongs to me alone and I can decide what it should be. You need to respect this right if any of your own family decides to do the same!

[charlygal]

No one has to accept your new name.

You have to be okay with your name. You are free to set whatever boundaries you wish concerning your name and your family.

People (and your family) will have the choice to honor your boundaries or to not honor them.

In any case, both sides have a choice.

You just have to be prepared that some will choose to not honor your boundaries and you'll have to enact the consequences.

The thing is, once you put forth the consequences, you have to give up the crybaby complaining.

Also, there is no such thing as "society." The world is just full of people making choices.

[animalcrazy]

My husband legally changed his last name and although his family was upset they understood that it just wasn't the kind of name a jail guard and former police officer should have. I'm glad he did because I wouldn't have that last name either. Besides the less I have in common with his side the better.