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And you lived outside the USA and think this is still just an American thing?
It's not. It's actually the norm elsewhere too - even to more of an extreme in some places. What country in Europe considers it child abuse for both parents to work full time? First time I ever heard that.
Germany. Holland. Austria, Turkey, Hungary, Czech .... Probably Italy, France and Spain. At least you see lots of kids and parents out on the streets during the day in most European countries.
If you get divorced and then don't see your children regularly, that is an unplanned misfortune.
Having a child well knowing you are not there when they start crawling, walking, first day at school, etc. is not good parenting IMO.
Of course it is not officially called child abuse. But they neighbors would talk, the other parents at school, the teachers - everybody would say - why aren't those people not their for their poor child? Why do they have children if they miss out on every event in its life?
I dont choose to work a ten hour day, my boss tells me to. I have a job that provides a good living, and Ill be able to give my kids a good upbringing...but I dont deserve to have them because Ill have to work 10 hour days?
Tried to conduct a search on this topic, but I couldn't find anything...
Too often I see guys who work factory jobs that required 10 hr. shifts and OT, white collar, mid-upper level management, military men, coaches, etc. who are literally tied to their jobs. The jobs are more of their identity than the family. Majority of the the time, these dads/husbands are absent?
I salute men who are breadwinners and financially take care of home.
But it begs the question... if they're absent, then what's the point of even starting a family?
Inquiring minds wanna know. Please help me out of this...and are there any parents and wives in here who've dealt with absentee husbands and dads?
I will never buy the concept that men suffer some kind of separation anxiety from their "family" which means, ostensibly children, while they are at work. I believe that the traditional roll of men to be provider and protector for the family is much more ingrained than the nouveau feminist concept that men have a "nurturing side". The fact of the matter is that a mans identity is strongly attached to his work and the level of financial success that he attains. In other words, a job *is* more important to the psyche of a man than his family is, that is just a fact of life. Part of the reason that there is so much misery in this world is that people are trying to go against their fundamental nature because it is trendy or politically correct.
There is no point of having kids if you won't see them. It's also irresponsible to have kids when one of the parents is realy gone far more than the other. The above poster about men not caring about their families is hilarious and also complete bs. Give a man a chance to do something other than bust his ass for 12 hours per day. Sounds terrible??? You gotta be kidding me. A lot of men would love to be around more but when the mother doesn't want to work (really nice to have this option, btw) what choices does he have?
I think couples really need to have enough time, saved money, and need to talk a lot about this topic before they have kids. Raising kids minus one parent isn't good for anyone.
There is no point of having kids if you won't see them. It's also irresponsible to have kids when one of the parents is realy gone far more than the other. The above poster about men not caring about their families is hilarious and also complete bs. Give a man a chance to do something other than bust his ass for 12 hours per day. Sounds terrible??? You gotta be kidding me. A lot of men would love to be around more but when the mother doesn't want to work (really nice to have this option, btw) what choices does he have?
I think couples really need to have enough time, saved money, and need to talk a lot about this topic before they have kids. Raising kids minus one parent isn't good for anyone.
If a man did not "bust his ass" for 12 hours a day, most likely he would be spending his leisure time with male friends, or doing activities that he enjoys i.e. fishing, hunting, playing video games, than spending time with his family/children. Most men are more than happy to spend as much time away from their family as they can, especially if there are small children involved.
Tried to conduct a search on this topic, but I couldn't find anything...
Too often I see guys who work factory jobs that required 10 hr. shifts and OT, white collar, mid-upper level management, military men, coaches, etc. who are literally tied to their jobs. The jobs are more of their identity than the family. Majority of the the time, these dads/husbands are absent?
I salute men who are breadwinners and financially take care of home.
But it begs the question... if they're absent, then what's the point of even starting a family?
Inquiring minds wanna know. Please help me out of this...and are there any parents and wives in here who've dealt with absentee husbands and dads?
I think that would be figuratively tied to their jobs, not literally...
Like others have said, people have always been away from their families to provide from them. But I do think that a 40 hour a week job isn't good for families, individuals or anybody who is trying to have some kind of life/work balance. I think we'd all be better off with a four day work week or maybe five six-hour days. That would make it easier for parents to juggle childcare too. When our kids were little, my husband and I worked opposite hours at some points so the kids would be home with one of us all the time. Eventually I started my own business and started working at home when they were all about school age. Obviously it would be hard to run a business from home with babies and toddlers in the house.
If a man did not "bust his ass" for 12 hours a day, most likely he would be spending his leisure time with male friends, or doing activities that he enjoys i.e. fishing, hunting, playing video games, than spending time with his family/children. Most men are more than happy to spend as much time away from their family as they can, especially if there are small children involved.
20yrsinBranson
Good point and very true. Lots of men like that.
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