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When she grows up, I think my daughter will remember that he coached her soccer team, not that he didn't make it home until soccer started.
...Or maybe both...I'd hope that the time spent together is what she only remembers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
I will never buy the concept that men suffer some kind of separation anxiety from their "family"... The fact of the matter is that a mans identity is strongly attached to his work and the level of financial success that he attains. In other words, a job *is* more important to the psyche of a man than his family is, that is just a fact of life. Part of the reason that there is so much misery in this world is that people are trying to go against their fundamental nature because it is trendy or politically correct.
20yrsinBranson
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
If a man did not "bust his ass" for 12 hours a day, most likely he would be spending his leisure time with male friends, or doing activities that he enjoys i.e. fishing, hunting, playing video games, than spending time with his family/children. Most men are more than happy to spend as much time away from their family as they can, especially if there are small children involved.
20yrsinBranson
Juxtaposing these two quotes makes me wonder... ... what do you think drives a man to want to have a family? Just to plants roots, seeds... a display of an additional conquer?
I'm a man... And I'd wanna spend time with my family. That should be the driving factor... And wanting to create a new life/lives with a woman whom you want to produce that new life/lives... as an embodiment of the love shared... Ideally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
About the military. I have seen the following (of course this is just stereotyping)
The military spouse never knows if their partner comes back from an deployment. It seems natural that they want children to have somebody around and to keep a memory of the military spouse. Also, they often can't have a real career because they move every few years.
The military member might want kids to keep the spouse busy and from cheating ...
I have worked in a daycare near a base. It was heartbreaking to see these little kids suffering when one parent left for deployment. After months of being depressed or angry, they finally get that daddy is gone. Then he comes back and they are confused again ... There is very emotional youtube videos when dads come home from deployment, I can't watch them without tearing up myself.
I also saw when dads came home after 9 months and their children didn't recognize them.
Thank you for giving us your observations of the military angle.
Tried to conduct a search on this topic, but I couldn't find anything...
Too often I see guys who work factory jobs that required 10 hr. shifts and OT, white collar, mid-upper level management, military men, coaches, etc. who are literally tied to their jobs. The jobs are more of their identity than the family. Majority of the the time, these dads/husbands are absent?
I salute men who are breadwinners and financially take care of home.
But it begs the question... if they're absent, then what's the point of even starting a family?
Inquiring minds wanna know. Please help me out of this...and are there any parents and wives in here who've dealt with absentee husbands and dads?
What's the point?..love of children...love of family.
As long as one of the parents is always there for the children, just knowing that those sweet lil things will be there to greet you when you ARE at home is worth it.
Raising children in a caring, loving household is a very rewarding experience, and can fill you with a great sense of pride and accomplishment....It's not necessary that the bread winner be there all the time for the children to still love and respect him/her.
It's very satisfying to see a child grow into a responsible caring adult.
It's even more satisfying to see them as great parents...and to enjoy the grandchildren, whose voices fill the house with joy, and laughter, and promises of more to come.
I love the women here telling men what we want and what we would or wouldn't do in whatever hypothetical situations. Listen to yourselves.
I love the stereotypes too: video games, hunting, hanging out with male friends, blah blah blah buncha stuff you see on tv blah balh blah. In my free time, I study foreign language, I travel, I read, I work out, I sing in a music group, and I go to movies and concerts. Men are just as diverse and have just as many sides as women do. Shocking, I know. If I have children, you're damn straight I'm gonna be around. You make time for your kids when you have them. They need parental attention and guidance.
It's a stereotype. How is that a good point? Come on.
It's a good point because that is how a lot of men are. It is not just a stereotype. No one is saying YOU are like that. But I definitely know a lot of men who are.
I love the women here telling men what we want and what we would or wouldn't do in whatever hypothetical situations. Listen to yourselves.
I love the stereotypes too: video games, hunting, hanging out with male friends, blah blah blah buncha stuff you see on tv blah balh blah. In my free time, I study foreign language, I travel, I read, I work out, I sing in a music group, and I go to movies and concerts. Men are just as diverse and have just as many sides as women do. Shocking, I know. If I have children, you're damn straight I'm gonna be around. You make time for your kids when you have them. They need parental attention and guidance.
If I were in the military, no I wouldn't have children until I was finished with my commitment.
It's not nonsense. It's the best interest of THE CHILD!
People who work for long hours see their kids for what, 2 hours after work before the kids go to sleep?
Still nonsense to me. Quality versus quantity. I've seen too many happy, healthy families with very successful children who adore there parents in both "working scenarios" described, so I agree to disagree!
Still nonsense to me. Quality versus quantity. I've seen too many happy, healthy families with very successful children who adore there parents in both "working scenarios" described, so I agree to disagree!
I don't doubt that such situations exist, I just think the trend is that two active parents is usually better than one. But yes, we can agree to disagree here.
I don't doubt that such situations exist, I just think the trend is that two active parents is usually better than one. But yes, we can agree to disagree here.
Who holds the definition of "active"? What is considered an "active parent"?
If a parent is working long hours to bring in money to meet the financial needs of their children, is that not active? If a parent devotes their time and energy to the children during the little time they are home, is that not active? You act like these kinds of situations are forever situations and they are not. Families are the ones who get to decide what is best for their children, not any of us. Unless that is, you're willing to write out the check so both parents can stay home more.
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... what do you think drives a man to want to have a family? Just to plants roots, seeds... a display of an additional conquer?
