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In the not so far off future, kids will be frantically fighting each other for the last Christmas oranges on earth while wearing Mad Max style battle armor made out of discarded flat panel TVs from the Black Fridays of yesteryear. Count your blessings!
Last Christmas I went through the requisite motions, put on a pleasant face, suffering in my daily life but that's not something to dwell on at Christmas time (my car, my bills, my rent, my health, my personal life, all trauma & I'm dying but on the outside I look fine so I just keep it up).
Well we all sat around in a circle and everyone opened one present after another, I was an afterthought as a guest at the gathering so no presents for me.
The nausea resurfaced as these four other adults each with their six-figure salaries present gifts to each other, and to my two children, my stomach churning at these excessive, non-utilitarian, unnecessary, overpriced, overwhelming, unappreciated gifts being passed around. My sweet daughter was overwhelmed, stressed-out. This is not how family time should be. And I have so many needs, I was literally broke and couldn't buy food, and there they were buying each other Keurigs (what to buy for a millionaire who doesn't need anything? I dunno, just buy them something they might not have already.)
I love the idea of a giving season, love, family gathering.....but it's just not that way. It's pretentious ostentation....while others are suffering in the world, some who are suffering are sitting just one foot away!! And wealth is thoughtlessly flaunted but no love or care or genuine concern given whatsoever.
I am so done with Christmas the way I observe it year after year. It just makes me nauseous.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
Less is more!
Well I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience last year but I can't help but note that your narrative focused on how much the people you were with earn, and what gifts they bought each other and your children, rather than the personal significance they have in your life. You bemoan materialism, but materialism is all your post focuses on. For me, gifts are so ancillary to the occasion itself. I shed my Christian beliefs long ago but I must admit Christmas does hold a certain joy for me.
My family and I are all so far away from each other and we'll probably never be geographically close again. But we all make a point to try to be together for Christmas, and that's what the true gift is for all of us. I know that yes, you shouldn't HAVE to have a reason to get together, but it's a tradition for us nonetheless. I'd honestly be just as happy getting absolutely NO gifts from my family because their company is more valuable than anything they could give me.
Now that being said, I know that I'm still very lucky to have a family I am close with, or even a family at all. But if I didn't, I would certainly not spend the holiday around people I didn't like and focusing on the gifts that were exchanged.
I started opting out of Christmas and Thanksgiving about 20 years ago.
I was living by myself and every year a co-worker would invite me to their house to spend the holidays. I guess they felt sorry for me. It was an awful day. I had to get up early when I wanted to sleep in, make or buy something I couldn't afford, dress up when I wanted to lounge around in pajamas, go attend a party-like celebration, try to relax among a group of strangers, and eat food I never liked. I always came home with a headache.
One year I put my foot down and said, "No more!". I told everyone I had been invited somewhere else and just stayed home alone. Me, Chinese takeout, and a couple videos. It was heaven. And that's what I've done ever since except for a few times when my brother was able to come up and visit me.
As for Christmas itself, I found that if I delayed Christmas, it was better all around. I began to get my tree on the 23rd or 24th of December and then leave it up all January. Putting the tree up on Christmas made it feel like Christmas. Having it up all January sure beat the after Christmas letdown. If I had friends I wanted to shop for, I would do my shopping in the week before Christmas. I did, and still do, get them the little things they would never get for themselves: books for my brother, warm fuzzy socks for my mom, that sort of thing. I loved wandering the mall in that last week before Christmas, feeling at peace and feeling sorry for everyone else running around like chickens with their heads cut off. And wander was exactly the word. I'd just walk slowly from store to store, taking my time.
I haven't done that for a couple years now, because of living circumstances, but I still like the holidays by myself. Our family was never close, so I don't miss our horrible Christmases when I was growing up. Money is tight now and I seldom eat out, but for Christmas I'll get a large pizza and even some Pepsi with a couple of chocolate truffles for dessert and sit down and watch a movie. I have a dandy Christmas.
Sometimes I think there is too much available to people these days. If you can have a pizza anytime you like or an orange anytime you go to the grocery store, how can you appreciate them if they're given to you as a gift? I've been through some tough times when I've had to eat nothing but pancakes (mix out of a box, add water) for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week. Believe me, the gift of a candy bar during that time brought me to tears. People have to be without to enjoy the simple things of life and of Christmas. I don't know what the answer to that is, except I think it helps to make it a habit to look for pleasure in small things.
I promise you: no kid ever, not in 1950 or 1850, was excited about an ORANGE as a Christmas present.
Also I don't really see people shopping FRANTICALLY anymore.
Those people waiting on Black Friday for a deal? Usually buying something for themselves. lol
Actually, my father who grew up in Iowa during the depression was delighted to recieve an orange in his stocking along with a couple pieces of candy. He knew his father and mother saved and spent precious money to give them to him and his two siblings. Since the fifties children in the United States are incredibly spoiled.
Actually, my father who grew up in Iowa during the depression was delighted to recieve an orange in his stocking along with a couple pieces of candy. He knew his father and mother saved and spent precious money to give them to him and his two siblings. Since the fifties children in the United States are incredibly spoiled.
Yea, and parents in the 50's said the same thing about kids in the 20's. And parents in the 20's said it about kids in the... 00's....
and so on and so on....
Yea, and parents in the 50's said the same thing about kids in the 20's. And parents in the 20's said it about kids in the... 00's....
and so on and so on....
Maybe, but if you read post #24 by RODENTRAISER, you realize that the key to appreciating the small things might be when you can't have them all the time. An orange during the Depression was a luxury.
Every year I get a bit spiritually nauseous as people frantically shop for one another buying each other items that are often unneeded and unappreciated. Money spent which could be best spent in more constructive useful ways.
The last time I participated in the mania was 2003, when I handmade cards to send to 15 of the people dearest to me. I sent just one marvelous gift to just one person very special to me. I went through a lot of labor to get that gift sent, shipping it from Germany to USA, then it came back to me in the mail on a technicality (I didn't put "c/o" in the address...wha?! They sent that from Germany to the USA then BACK to Germany for that?) Finally the gift arrived to my friend, but there's no way I would have known that because I didn't hear a word from her, not a "hello," or "thank you," or anything. So I contacted her in March, and oh yeah she said she got the gift, thanks.
Well I've been done with Christmas since then. My big loving heart has taken a beating and has shriveled up & died.
Last Christmas I went through the requisite motions, put on a pleasant face, suffering in my daily life but that's not something to dwell on at Christmas time (my car, my bills, my rent, my health, my personal life, all trauma & I'm dying but on the outside I look fine so I just keep it up).
Well we all sat around in a circle and everyone opened one present after another, I was an afterthought as a guest at the gathering so no presents for me.
The nausea resurfaced as these four other adults each with their six-figure salaries present gifts to each other, and to my two children, my stomach churning at these excessive, non-utilitarian, unnecessary, overpriced, overwhelming, unappreciated gifts being passed around. My sweet daughter was overwhelmed, stressed-out. This is not how family time should be. And I have so many needs, I was literally broke and couldn't buy food, and there they were buying each other Keurigs (what to buy for a millionaire who doesn't need anything? I dunno, just buy them something they might not have already.)
I love the idea of a giving season, love, family gathering.....but it's just not that way. It's pretentious ostentation....while others are suffering in the world, some who are suffering are sitting just one foot away!! And wealth is thoughtlessly flaunted but no love or care or genuine concern given whatsoever.
I am so done with Christmas the way I observe it year after year. It just makes me nauseous.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
Less is more!
You have a good heart and should not suffer for it. Make Christmas the best of what it should be, a time to appreciate your family and loved ones.
I can't help but note that your narrative focused on how much the people you were with earn, and what gifts they bought each other and your children, rather than the personal significance they have in your life.
Now that being said, I know that I'm still very lucky to have a family I am close with, or even a family at all. But if I didn't, I would certainly not spend the holiday around people I didn't like and focusing on the gifts that were exchanged.
Yes, you are fortunate to have family you are close with, and fortunate to have family at all.
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