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Every year I get a bit spiritually nauseous as people frantically shop for one another buying each other items that are often unneeded and unappreciated. Money spent which could be best spent in more constructive useful ways.
The last time I participated in the mania was 2003, when I handmade cards to send to 15 of the people dearest to me. I sent just one marvelous gift to just one person very special to me. I went through a lot of labor to get that gift sent, shipping it from Germany to USA, then it came back to me in the mail on a technicality (I didn't put "c/o" in the address...wha?! They sent that from Germany to the USA then BACK to Germany for that?) Finally the gift arrived to my friend, but there's no way I would have known that because I didn't hear a word from her, not a "hello," or "thank you," or anything. So I contacted her in March, and oh yeah she said she got the gift, thanks.
Well I've been done with Christmas since then. My big loving heart has taken a beating and has shriveled up & died.
Last Christmas I went through the requisite motions, put on a pleasant face, suffering in my daily life but that's not something to dwell on at Christmas time (my car, my bills, my rent, my health, my personal life, all trauma & I'm dying but on the outside I look fine so I just keep it up).
Well we all sat around in a circle and everyone opened one present after another, I was an afterthought as a guest at the gathering so no presents for me.
The nausea resurfaced as these four other adults each with their six-figure salaries present gifts to each other, and to my two children, my stomach churning at these excessive, non-utilitarian, unnecessary, overpriced, overwhelming, unappreciated gifts being passed around. My sweet daughter was overwhelmed, stressed-out. This is not how family time should be. And I have so many needs, I was literally broke and couldn't buy food, and there they were buying each other Keurigs (what to buy for a millionaire who doesn't need anything? I dunno, just buy them something they might not have already.)
I love the idea of a giving season, love, family gathering.....but it's just not that way. It's pretentious ostentation....while others are suffering in the world, some who are suffering are sitting just one foot away!! And wealth is thoughtlessly flaunted but no love or care or genuine concern given whatsoever.
I am so done with Christmas the way I observe it year after year. It just makes me nauseous.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
I promise you: no kid ever, not in 1950 or 1850, was excited about an ORANGE as a Christmas present.
Also I don't really see people shopping FRANTICALLY anymore.
Those people waiting on Black Friday for a deal? Usually buying something for themselves. lol
To each his/her own. I love the season but am not into shopping as such.I do get a kick out of shopping for the kids in family still and tend to go over board. The ornage thing is wrong because my mother in law got just that in depression in a very poor family and it was a treat she says.Her sister who was infant got nothing. She said it always made her sad in those days when she thought about it later.
Every year I get a bit spiritually nauseous as people frantically shop for one another buying each other items that are often unneeded and unappreciated. Money spent which could be best spent in more constructive useful ways.
The last time I participated in the mania was 2003, when I handmade cards to send to 15 of the people dearest to me. I sent just one marvelous gift to just one person very special to me. I went through a lot of labor to get that gift sent, shipping it from Germany to USA, then it came back to me in the mail on a technicality (I didn't put "c/o" in the address...wha?! They sent that from Germany to the USA then BACK to Germany for that?) Finally the gift arrived to my friend, but there's no way I would have known that because I didn't hear a word from her, not a "hello," or "thank you," or anything. So I contacted her in March, and oh yeah she said she got the gift, thanks.
Well I've been done with Christmas since then. My big loving heart has taken a beating and has shriveled up & died.
Last Christmas I went through the requisite motions, put on a pleasant face, suffering in my daily life but that's not something to dwell on at Christmas time (my car, my bills, my rent, my health, my personal life, all trauma & I'm dying but on the outside I look fine so I just keep it up).
Well we all sat around in a circle and everyone opened one present after another, I was an afterthought as a guest at the gathering so no presents for me.
The nausea resurfaced as these four other adults each with their six-figure salaries present gifts to each other, and to my two children, my stomach churning at these excessive, non-utilitarian, unnecessary, overpriced, overwhelming, unappreciated gifts being passed around. My sweet daughter was overwhelmed, stressed-out. This is not how family time should be. And I have so many needs, I was literally broke and couldn't buy food, and there they were buying each other Keurigs (what to buy for a millionaire who doesn't need anything? I dunno, just buy them something they might not have already.)
I love the idea of a giving season, love, family gathering.....but it's just not that way. It's pretentious ostentation....while others are suffering in the world, some who are suffering are sitting just one foot away!! And wealth is thoughtlessly flaunted but no love or care or genuine concern given whatsoever.
I am so done with Christmas the way I observe it year after year. It just makes me nauseous.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
Less is more!
I couldn't agree more. I despise the materialistic nature that Christmas is steeped in. My ex wife and in laws are ate up with it, and I am so glad to be away from that, and in my own family's traditions of just getting together and having a special dinner, without a flood of expensive "gifts" being required. Good grief! The stores are already playing carols and stocking decorations, and Thanksgiving is weeks away yet. Verily, I prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas. Far more love is present.
Christmas is my exes time to try and buy my sons love, as well. Spending enough money to support a household for three months. Her mother is worse. It can be hard for me to quietly pass the time during Christmas. But I do. My son always spends the lions share of time with his mothers family and his half siblings on that day. More out of a sense of materialistic obligation than anything else, because of feeling bought and paid for, so to speak.
I honestly don't think he really understands how deeply that hurts me, but his mother does. Thus , to me, Christmas has become just another arrow in her quiver. Hell, go see Dad and have some prime rib and just hang out, maybe a small gift, or hang with the other half and be flooded with expensive presents, whether they mean anything or not. I will be quite glad when Christmas has come and gone.
Well, I'll approach it from a traditional, liturgical Christian perspective. Hey, no one has ever accused me of being a Bible beater and I'm certainly not a fundamentalist. I just think Christ's core message of peace and goodwill and individual human dignity is even more relevant than ever. Yet in celebrating His birth, we've created a monster of sorts, a holiday that runs so counter to everything He taught.
Christmas is not the period of time between Thanksgiving and December 25th. It is the period of time encompassing December 25th to Epiphany on January 6th. You know, the Twelve Days of Christmas? But people who buy into how we know Christmas today think that Christmas is over when the last present gets unwrapped.
Meanwhile, the period leading up to Christmas is Advent. Advent, for those of you who know your church history, was known as Little Lent. It was a time of waiting and anticipation, not a bacchanal. Now the Puritans on both side of the Atlantic tried to ban Christmas for years, because of the fact that the celebrations got out of hand, and that's taking it way too far.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I think the old church fathers kind of had it right. That's why we keep an Advent calendar in our house and follow it. We don't put up the Christmas tree until the weekend before Christmas and try to not go overboard on the lights. We give each other nice gifts, but we don't empty our bank accounts to create a glittering mound beneath the tree. To be sure, we do enjoy Christmas parties and have thrown some good ones ourselves. But it's important to really see the season in context. I guess the word restraint best describes our approach to the season, rather than this exhausting, 30-day dash.
To me, the worst day of the year is Black Friday, when people stampede into stores to buy and buy more. It's such a sadness to me that we've kind of forgotten the entire point and message of Christmas to begin with. It's not about reindeer or talking snowmen. To be sure, I'm not wanting to be a killjoy and take that away from the children. But its purpose is so much more joyous and fulfilling than the presents that get unwrapped on the morning of December 25th.
So I guess what I'm saying is that understanding the point of Christmas and celebrating in ways and degrees that are appropriate to it are how one manages to keep one's sanity during what has become the most stressful time of the year.
I promise you: no kid ever, not in 1950 or 1850, was excited about an ORANGE as a Christmas present.
Delighted? pfffft! No KIDDING! It was just there to fill in empty spaces in our stockings. We got a mandarin, meanwhile there was a bowl of them out in our kitchen.
Every year I get a bit spiritually nauseous as people frantically shop for one another buying each other items that are often unneeded and unappreciated. Money spent which could be best spent in more constructive useful ways.
The last time I participated in the mania was 2003, when I handmade cards to send to 15 of the people dearest to me. I sent just one marvelous gift to just one person very special to me. I went through a lot of labor to get that gift sent, shipping it from Germany to USA, then it came back to me in the mail on a technicality (I didn't put "c/o" in the address...wha?! They sent that from Germany to the USA then BACK to Germany for that?) Finally the gift arrived to my friend, but there's no way I would have known that because I didn't hear a word from her, not a "hello," or "thank you," or anything. So I contacted her in March, and oh yeah she said she got the gift, thanks.
Well I've been done with Christmas since then. My big loving heart has taken a beating and has shriveled up & died.
Last Christmas I went through the requisite motions, put on a pleasant face, suffering in my daily life but that's not something to dwell on at Christmas time (my car, my bills, my rent, my health, my personal life, all trauma & I'm dying but on the outside I look fine so I just keep it up).
Well we all sat around in a circle and everyone opened one present after another, I was an afterthought as a guest at the gathering so no presents for me.
The nausea resurfaced as these four other adults each with their six-figure salaries present gifts to each other, and to my two children, my stomach churning at these excessive, non-utilitarian, unnecessary, overpriced, overwhelming, unappreciated gifts being passed around. My sweet daughter was overwhelmed, stressed-out. This is not how family time should be. And I have so many needs, I was literally broke and couldn't buy food, and there they were buying each other Keurigs (what to buy for a millionaire who doesn't need anything? I dunno, just buy them something they might not have already.)
I love the idea of a giving season, love, family gathering.....but it's just not that way. It's pretentious ostentation....while others are suffering in the world, some who are suffering are sitting just one foot away!! And wealth is thoughtlessly flaunted but no love or care or genuine concern given whatsoever.
I am so done with Christmas the way I observe it year after year. It just makes me nauseous.
I will continue observing it in my own heartfelt, humble way, something akin to small children in the old days being absolutely delighted to find one fresh, delicious orange in the toe of their Christmas stocking.
Less is more!
I agree with you 100%. One of the biggest perks of me leaving Christianity for Agnosticism is the fact I NEVER have to celebrate Christmas again. I hate the hoopla and the disgusting displays of materialism and commercialism for what seems like forever.
For me, the season just reminds me I am broke, have no very close family, and I hate materialism. I cannot stand that Hallmark image plastered on the screen for two months. Even for those who go to shelters and give gifts and time, I can't bring myself to do that knowing when I leave they are still going to be poor and likely hated the other 363 days of the year that ain't Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I promise you: no kid ever, not in 1950 or 1850, was excited about an ORANGE as a Christmas present.
Actually not true.
When I was a child my Mother who raised my Brother and I in the 1960's alone could not afford lots of things for Christmas or any other time of year actually. We had necessities, a roof, food and her all encompassing love and guidance.
Anyway, the best Christmas in my life was the one Christmas that my Brother and I were given 3 gifts from my Mother.
We were each given 1 small box of 8 crayola crayons, 1 very thin coloring book and 1 box of Butter Cookies.
The reason that was the best Christmas is because we each had something that we did not have to share, we had our own and we knew our Mother scrimped and saved and sacrificed for herself to provide us with those
3 inexpensive but ever so important gifts. The icing on the Christmas cake that year and every year before and after is her all encompassing Love.
Well, I'll approach it from a traditional, liturgical Christian perspective. Hey, no one has ever accused me of being a Bible beater and I'm certainly not a fundamentalist. I just think Christ's core message of peace and goodwill and individual human dignity is even more relevant than ever. Yet in celebrating His birth, we've created a monster of sorts, a holiday that runs so counter to everything He taught.
Christmas is not the period of time between Thanksgiving and December 25th. It is the period of time encompassing December 25th to Epiphany on January 6th. You know, the Twelve Days of Christmas? But people who buy into how we know Christmas today think that Christmas is over when the last present gets unwrapped.
Meanwhile, the period leading up to Christmas is Advent. Advent, for those of you who know your church history, was known as Little Lent. It was a time of waiting and anticipation, not a bacchanal. Now the Puritans on both side of the Atlantic tried to ban Christmas for years, because of the fact that the celebrations got out of hand, and that's taking it way too far.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I think the old church fathers kind of had it right. That's why we keep an Advent calendar in our house and follow it. We don't put up the Christmas tree until the weekend before Christmas and try to not go overboard on the lights. We give each other nice gifts, but we don't empty our bank accounts to create a glittering mound beneath the tree. To be sure, we do enjoy Christmas parties and have thrown some good ones ourselves. But it's important to really see the season in context. I guess the word restraint best describes our approach to the season, rather than this exhausting, 30-day dash.
To me, the worst day of the year is Black Friday, when people stampede into stores to buy and buy more. It's such a sadness to me that we've kind of forgotten the entire point and message of Christmas to begin with. It's not about reindeer or talking snowmen. To be sure, I'm not wanting to be a killjoy and take that away from the children. But its purpose is so much more joyous and fulfilling than the presents that get unwrapped on the morning of December 25th.
So I guess what I'm saying is that understanding the point of Christmas and celebrating in ways and degrees that are appropriate to it are how one manages to keep one's sanity during what has become the most stressful time of the year.
Good post.
I believe making Christmas a secular holiday has blinded us to the humble roots of this celebration and created this monster even for Christians but one does not have to succumb to the madness.
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