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Old 10-17-2015, 01:14 PM
 
1,882 posts, read 1,440,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imagardener View Post
Dear OP

You sound clinically depressed and should talk to a counselor at college. It is normal to be worried about graduating and what will happen but you are projecting very sad life that most people do not live. If your family has this dynamic then you need to talk to some happy, well-adjusted people.

Perhaps you don't like the career you have a degree for. Take a year off working at something you really like even if it is low-paying. When you enjoy what you are doing then money is less important. Like they say "When you love what you do you never work a day in your life".

I became a professional photographer and made very little money for years and years until I eventually became successful. But I loved what I did even while worried about money constantly. Some people choose the opposite--they are paid well but dislike their job. Its possible to get paid well at a job you love, I know some people like that. They are incredibly lucky.

Find out what you love. Until you do you will not be happy. Some people work at boring jobs but have incredibly happy family life. That takes a whole different search for someone who wants that too and will be a partner to create that together.

But talk to a mental health counselor ASAP. You need more help than this forum can give.
Clinically depressed or just clinically realistic?

Maybe OP is too rational and sees life for what it likely is: an ongoing struggle in which most people have to become wage slaves in order to have a comfortable existence. You have to work to finance the basic necessities of life.

Many studies seem to suggest that depressed people are simply not good at wearing rose-colored glasses; therefore, they often see life and life circumstances in an unfiltered, accurate way, which can be very depressogenic. Ignorance is often bliss, and folks who excel at deluding themselves into believing that their lives are better and more fulfilling than reality are often happier and more productive.

OP was brought into this world by someone else and forced to play the game of life. He has every right to feel as he does. He didn't ask to be here. The so-called 'gift of life' was given to him. But as he's gotten older and become more aware, he's realized that the so-called 'gift of life' comes with many strings attached -- not the least of which requires him to pay to play, to work and toil in order to fully actualize this gift. The gift isn't free at all.

Obviously every person who ever lived can make the same appraisal and can, therefore, rage against the unfairness and misery of life. But he has a right to say what he feels. To all the people who feel as if OP is a complainer or looking for sympathy -- you are not in his shoes, you don't have his particular mindset and personality, don't know much of anything about him or his experiences, so you can't accurately judge him. If you want to be some supposedly morally superior, John Wayne-esque, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps tough guy/macho man, good for you. But one size does not fit all.

Life is and has been tough and uncaring for most people since the beginning of human history. People are at least entitled to rail at the capricious, indifference of life.

Last edited by AnthonyJ34; 10-17-2015 at 01:17 PM.. Reason: Spelling
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Old 10-17-2015, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Live in NY State, work in CT
9,035 posts, read 14,823,737 times
Reputation: 3387
Quote:
Originally Posted by antinimby View Post
You're just in the wrong country. There are many places around the world that people are not constantly working M-F, 9-5.
Actually in most developed countries people do work full-time. The difference is 1) they have a lot more vacation time and are not pressured not to use it, 2) getting sick does not make them bankrupt, and 3) they don't work beyond M-F 9-5 so they have a "life".

There is nothing wrong with working M-F 9-5 and having some vacation time (though 4 weeks would be more ideal than 2). The problem in this country is that more and more we are becoming like 1980s Japan (and even THEY have slowed down) where the mantra is to just work and sleep. Working with say 1/3 of your time to enjoy life has a point, but there's no point when all you do is work and sleep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by InchingWest View Post
With technology getting more and more advanced I don't see a reason to work more than 20 to 30 hours a week. And heck, anything beyond 20 should constitute overtime. Why work 5 days a week? We could easily work 3 and all be fine. If some people want a second job they can have it.

With more free time people could actually spend it with their families. We could read more, get educated. We could be more physically fit. There'd be no excuse to not go to the gym. And with everyone working 3 day work weeks (staggered of course) there would be no such thing as "rush hour".

With more free time more people would decide to start a business and work for themselves rather than someone else. This, I'm coming to learn more and more, is the real key to success. Why let someone else benefit from my labor? And with less hours in a typical work week demand for workers would be higher. We'd get paid more.
The problem with that (and kind of why we are where we are today as a society) is some people will simply work more because they value getting more money out of having any kind of "life" and then it will be what is "expected" of everyone for sustenance.

I was once for many years in a company that really didn't have a lot of "overtime" but then when a certain new supervisor started routinely working 2-3 hours extra every day it became unofficially "expected" for everyone and within a few months was basically the "norm" (yes I eventually left them). And we were "salaried" so no pay bump (were told all this work will get us a "bonus" at the end of the year if business is good, sometimes that happened and sometimes it didn't).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redraven View Post

I am 73 years old, and retired. I spent my entire life working 40 hours per week or more. I had weekends off to take my kids fishing, camping, and hunting. In most jobs I had 2 or more weeks vacation. I visited Glacier National Park, Yellowstone National Park, Arches National park. the Civil War battlefields around Chattanooga, Tenn., and many other National and State parks. I spent a little over 6 years active duty military, and about 24 years in the reserves. I could not afford to go to college. We raised 5 kids. The youngest are now over 30.
If you are looking for sympathy, you won't get it from me. In fact, in spite of the current thinking that we should do everything in our power to encourage people like you, I think Choice #1 is quite possibly your best bet if you truly don't want to work and contribute to society.
BUT, have some consideration for others. Do not leave a mess for somebody to clean up! Go as far back in the woods as you can walk, then sit down under a tree and do what you have to do. Leave a note with somebody in town so that the authorities won't waste a lot of time looking for your remains.
do it right the first time!
Good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chango View Post
So if it's up to you, why decide life is meaningless? Yea, you've gotta work 40 hours a week doing boring repetitive tasks to maintain your survival but there are 168 hours in a week... not a bad trade if you ask me.
My issue with these comments is different from others. As I say above, if you work 9-5 and are off weekends, yes there is still plenty of time for "life". But starting from about my generation on down (I'll be 48 in a month), that has increasingly been not true. Either you are in a job that pays 6 figures but requires 60-80 hours per week (so you have the money but no time) or wages have become so "unliveable" that you have to do 2-3 jobs that total 60-80 hours/week to pay your rent.

I do not think that you should get $20/hour for working at McDonald's, I do think different jobs deserve different levels of pay depending on various factors, but for probably the first time since the 1930s, we have people working full-time who still need government assistance to survive. Say what you will about companies having less employees if the minimum wage goes up (and at say something outrageous like $30-50/hour I would agree), but I think a company that cannot pay a full-time employee enough for a minimum existence cannot afford to be in business any more than a company than cannot pay it's office rent.

Last edited by 7 Wishes; 10-17-2015 at 03:51 PM..
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Old 10-17-2015, 03:40 PM
 
1,882 posts, read 1,440,638 times
Reputation: 2735
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maroon197 View Post
Sort of. But if you have a commute of even just 30 minutes, you can cross off another 5 hours of your week. Another few hours a week are spent just getting ready to go work. Then, when you have "time off", you have to go grocery shopping, do your laundry, clean the house, do the dishes, get your oil changed, help kids with their homework, cook dinner, etc. Time spent doing things you actually enjoy or with people you enjoy can feel very limited.
Correct. The amount of time getting ready for work and commuting to and from work is substantial for many people. So, it's not unrealistic to suppose that for many, a typical 8-hour workday is closer to being a 10-hour workday. Then, as you highlighted, you have to fit into your remaining free time all the basic chores/errands/duties of basic living. Not much actual free time is left, in actuality, for many people.
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Old 10-17-2015, 04:04 PM
 
Location: North West Arkansas (zone 6b)
2,673 posts, read 2,015,939 times
Reputation: 3671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Channing20 View Post
Why do we act like life is wonderful when all we really do is work all the time? I'm getting ready to graduate college and Ive been struggling to think of a reason I shouldn't just kill myself. There's nothing to look forward to in life. We spend all of our time at work so we can afford to feed and shelter ourselves so that we're healthy enough to go back to work the next day. Then we get excited because we get a week off once a year.
Meanwhile, our children are being raised by someone else who is getting to see all their milestones. We spend most of our time with coworkers instead of our friends and spouses. Things that are supposed to make life worthwhile like traveling can barely be done because to most people who are making enough money to afford it don't have enough time off. Life is pretty much work, stress, and disappointment but we keep trying to find ways to prolong it. I don't get it
Every college senior must feel this way. The feeling washed over me as I sat at my desk the first few months of work.

Trust me, you will manage to find a life in between work but it should be your mission to retire early so that you can enjoy the *rest* of your life and not die before you reach retirement.
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Old 10-17-2015, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 1,589,579 times
Reputation: 4125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Channing20 View Post
Why do we act like life is wonderful when all we really do is work all the time? I'm getting ready to graduate college and Ive been struggling to think of a reason I shouldn't just kill myself. There's nothing to look forward to in life. We spend all of our time at work so we can afford to feed and shelter ourselves so that we're healthy enough to go back to work the next day. Then we get excited because we get a week off once a year.
Meanwhile, our children are being raised by someone else who is getting to see all their milestones. We spend most of our time with coworkers instead of our friends and spouses. Things that are supposed to make life worthwhile like traveling can barely be done because to most people who are making enough money to afford it don't have enough time off. Life is pretty much work, stress, and disappointment but we keep trying to find ways to prolong it. I don't get it
Hence the importance of finding a job you really like.
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Old 10-17-2015, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Live in NY State, work in CT
9,035 posts, read 14,823,737 times
Reputation: 3387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsettomati View Post

Finally, an observation - you have it pretty easy, all things considered. No, really, you do.We all do. We live (you too, I'm guessing) in a modern first-world country with a social safety net that is stronger than most in the world enjoy, and stronger than the vast majority of those who lived before you could even have imagined. You have access to education, health care that eliminates so much misery that was standard for most of human history (and still is in much of the world). There is comparative opportunity - you admit you're about to be a college graduate, something a great many otherwise-qualified people living and dead would have loved but could never have realized - and economic mobility. It's not all a bed of roses, but it's hardly the fruitless toil you present to to be. So, the whole 'woe is me, life sucks because it's not as easy as I wish it was' thing you're putting forth is pretty weak.
Somewhat disagree.....we are probably better off than most if not all of the Third World, but our social safety net, while not necessarily inadequate, is one of the thinnest in the First World. We have top health care and first rate education (foreigners clamor to go to our universities over that of other countries), but the least public access to it of any First World country (in NO other country do people go bankrupt over healthcare and far fewer do over education in the rest of the developed world).

(I always wondered hearing "First" and "Third" World all the time what the "Second" world was, so I looked it up, it doesn't exist anymore, it basically was the Communist Bloc).
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:04 PM
 
3,751 posts, read 3,721,569 times
Reputation: 3526
Quote:
Originally Posted by antinimby View Post
You're just in the wrong country. There are many places around the world that people are not constantly working M-F, 9-5.
Unfortunately American corporate influence is taking over the rest of the world.
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
12,537 posts, read 4,238,327 times
Reputation: 9856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redraven View Post
Choices. We all have choices.
As I see it, even YOU have choices.
1. End it all now, and save everybody within your sphere of influence a lot of future grief.
2. Marry rich, so you can live the life of luxury and leisure you desire.
3. Go to the Amazon jungle, get adopted by a tribe in there, and live a subsistence life, hunting and gathering.
4. Suck it up, get a job, and join the rat race. Neither your town, county, state, country, hemisphere, Earth, or the Universe owes you anything. In fact, none of them even care about you. Or me. Or anybody.
It has been said that if you want to see how much you will truly be missed, stick your fist in a bucket of heavy oil. Pull it out rapidly. The hole that is left is the definitive measure of your importance in the Universe!

I am 73 years old, and retired. I spent my entire life working 40 hours per week or more. I had weekends off to take my kids fishing, camping, and hunting. In most jobs I had 2 or more weeks vacation. I visited Glacier National Park, Yellowstone National Park, Arches National park. the Civil War battlefields around Chattanooga, Tenn., and many other National and State parks. I spent a little over 6 years active duty military, and about 24 years in the reserves. I could not afford to go to college. We raised 5 kids. The youngest are now over 30.
If you are looking for sympathy, you won't get it from me. In fact, in spite of the current thinking that we should do everything in our power to encourage people like you, I think Choice #1 is quite possibly your best bet if you truly don't want to work and contribute to society.
BUT, have some consideration for others. Do not leave a mess for somebody to clean up! Go as far back in the woods as you can walk, then sit down under a tree and do what you have to do. Leave a note with somebody in town so that the authorities won't waste a lot of time looking for your remains.
do it right the first time!
Good luck.
Maybe the worst posting I've ever seen on city-data.
If you don't have anything kind to say, or some legitimate advice to give.....then don't say anything.
The OP makes some good points. I'm struggling with the same issues, more than 20 years after I graduated college. It does seem like all I do is work and there isn't enough time to do the 'fun' stuff.
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
12,537 posts, read 4,238,327 times
Reputation: 9856
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34 View Post
Clinically depressed or just clinically realistic?

Maybe OP is too rational and sees life for what it likely is: an ongoing struggle in which most people have to become wage slaves in order to have a comfortable existence. You have to work to finance the basic necessities of life.

Many studies seem to suggest that depressed people are simply not good at wearing rose-colored glasses; therefore, they often see life and life circumstances in an unfiltered, accurate way, which can be very depressogenic. Ignorance is often bliss, and folks who excel at deluding themselves into believing that their lives are better and more fulfilling than reality are often happier and more productive.

OP was brought into this world by someone else and forced to play the game of life. He has every right to feel as he does. He didn't ask to be here. The so-called 'gift of life' was given to him. But as he's gotten older and become more aware, he's realized that the so-called 'gift of life' comes with many strings attached -- not the least of which requires him to pay to play, to work and toil in order to fully actualize this gift. The gift isn't free at all.

Obviously every person who ever lived can make the same appraisal and can, therefore, rage against the unfairness and misery of life. But he has a right to say what he feels. To all the people who feel as if OP is a complainer or looking for sympathy -- you are not in his shoes, you don't have his particular mindset and personality, don't know much of anything about him or his experiences, so you can't accurately judge him. If you want to be some supposedly morally superior, John Wayne-esque, pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps tough guy/macho man, good for you. But one size does not fit all.

Life is and has been tough and uncaring for most people since the beginning of human history. People are at least entitled to rail at the capricious, indifference of life.
Well stated, much more eloquent than I would have been!
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:17 PM
 
981 posts, read 1,981,956 times
Reputation: 1399
Default You're right!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Channing20 View Post
Why do we act like life is wonderful when all we really do is work all the time? I'm getting ready to graduate college and Ive been struggling to think of a reason I shouldn't just kill myself. There's nothing to look forward to in life. We spend all of our time at work so we can afford to feed and shelter ourselves so that we're healthy enough to go back to work the next day. Then we get excited because we get a week off once a year.
Meanwhile, our children are being raised by someone else who is getting to see all their milestones. We spend most of our time with coworkers instead of our friends and spouses. Things that are supposed to make life worthwhile like traveling can barely be done because to most people who are making enough money to afford it don't have enough time off. Life is pretty much work, stress, and disappointment but we keep trying to find ways to prolong it. I don't get it
It's good that you're figuring this out at a young age. A lot of modern work just feeds consumerism and overpopulation. People make more stuff for more people who make more stuff for more people, and so on.

Economic growthism is a technical term for it. When oil and other forms of cheap energy allowed us to produce more than we needed, high-pressure marketing was born. That's why someone's always trying to sell you something. Many companies depend on sales hype to stay in business and are akin to drug-pushers. It's hard to find work totally detached from that mania unless you're a humble dirt farmer or mountain man.

I think many people instinctively know that the Protestant work ethic is tedious and unnatural, but they see it as a badge of honor to trudge through the day or show off how much money they make to others who may not even care.
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