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Old 02-09-2016, 09:15 PM
 
6,415 posts, read 9,917,883 times
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The power of your subconscious mind creates your reality. What you believe or don't believe is what is true and that's what will manifest.
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Old 02-09-2016, 09:44 PM
 
Location: U.S. Pacific Northwest
251 posts, read 141,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I agree to an extent. I think the comfort zone thing is more about being afraid to take risks though.
And I'm not sure about the destruction gig, maybe you can expound?

I'm pretty annoyed by the obsessive avoidance of negativity. That's not to say some people aren't black holes of happiness. But, life is full of negatives. It's OK to be adversely affected by them. It's OK to be frustrated and angry. Not lifelong frustration and anger, but that which makes us human. The ra-ra crowd is ultimately looking to avoid discomfort. It's not about what's best for you. It's about keeping them comfortable.

The forgiveness issue. "Forgiveness is for you, not for them." It's such a personal decision. Why do people think that everything and everyone is worthy of forgiveness? If you don't grant it, you're not doomed to a life of misery and angst. You can absolutely heal without it.

"Don't judge." - This is along the same lines as the forgiveness issue. I know it means that we shouldn't judge harshly, or without getting to know a person, and I agree with that as a general rule. But it's been worn out and abused. IMO, we SHOULD judge harshly when it is, in fact, beneficial. We judge people every day, on some level. It's how we determine who is safe enough to be in our orbit. Some people are simply not worthy. Observably so and you don't always have to wait for them to prove it to know it.

There are more, but these are the first that come to mind.
This.

It's a real problem when being positive means being in denial. And we can't help but judge. It's important if, and how, we express that judgment.
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Old 02-10-2016, 10:48 AM
 
8,018 posts, read 6,564,406 times
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Be yourself is apparently terrible advice for some people.
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Old 02-10-2016, 11:14 AM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,485,460 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
"Everything happens for a reason." No it doesn't. Some things happen for no reason at all. There is such a thing as coincidence. Or even if events occur that aren't coincidental, many times, we will never know why an event occurred.

"What goes around comes around" (the nice variation of "karma is a witch.") I don't buy that one either. Although it may comfort us, it's just not true. Many times, the bad guy wins, he doesn't get caught, evil never gets punished, and bad things happen to good people. So why choose to be good rather than evil? Because it's the right thing to do, and that should be reason enough.
I agree on the first one. It's complete bull****.

But I do believe that "what goes around comes around" to a certain extent. If you are at your core a good person who treats others with kindness and increases the happiness of those around you, those are the kind of people you will have in your circle, as long as you're not a chump and let other people treat you as a doormat. Seriously, do you know any crappy people whose lives you envy? Yeah, sure, some of them might be rich, but their personal lives are usually filled with turmoil, anger and drama.


I think there's a lot of anger in the OP's post, and it's mainly because he's taken common platitudes as gospel rather than taking a nuanced look at things.

First of all, who the hell says failure equals success? The advice is generally that one must accept that failure will happen but if you don't make further attempts or learn from those failures, you will never succeed.

"Step outside your comfort zone." Um, that just means you should try new things, not do stupid things just because you're uncomfortable doing them.

"Hard work pays off." Generally, it does. But that doesn't mean you can just make a ton of effort and expect to be showered by rewards. You need to do so judiciously - you know "Work smarter, not harder" to fling out another platitude.

"It gets better after x" - Well, this is less a platitude than individuals interpreting their personal experience and expecting it to apply to your life. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not.

OP, there's so much rage and bitterness in your post, I really think you would benefit from therapy or at least talking to someone close to you about your disappointments in life.

I'm a big believer that happiness is a choice. Now, that's not an absolute - advice rarely is. Happiness is a choice you make for the most part, but if you are suffering from a crippling illness, mental health issues or extreme poverty, obviously choosing to be happy is extremely difficult, if not impossible. Your issues sound like they are mainly a mental health issue, so you CAN make the choice to get some help for it.
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Old 02-10-2016, 05:49 PM
 
3,312 posts, read 1,867,489 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I agree on the first one. It's complete bull****.

But I do believe that "what goes around comes around" to a certain extent. If you are at your core a good person who treats others with kindness and increases the happiness of those around you, those are the kind of people you will have in your circle, as long as you're not a chump and let other people treat you as a doormat. Seriously, do you know any crappy people whose lives you envy? Yeah, sure, some of them might be rich, but their personal lives are usually filled with turmoil, anger and drama.

I sure do: the people who scammed me. I envy that they can get away with scamming me and that meanwhile all I want to do was get back what they got from me but I would be the one in trouble. My personal life was drama filled already...can't get much worse.
I also envy my ex because he had so much and he did not appreciate it. Of course he is feeling a bit of karma. He now has hardly any friends and was fired from his job but it was the fact that he had all this to begin with. He was able to get a job at Amazon years ago without even trying. Another thing is as a whole his family seemed to treat him pretty good considering how bad he is as a person. That's what makes me so mad and so envious that people like that get stuff that they take for granted and yet I don't get all that but I would be grateful.
Yeah you're right if you let people treat you as a doormat that's exactly what you get but the unfortunate thing is if you move from that people find that rip in you as if they knew your prior history so when you try to stand up for yourself they still can break you down.
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Old 02-10-2016, 05:55 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,859 posts, read 1,982,226 times
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I cringe when I hear the tiresome "think outside the box" expression. I can't recall ever hearing that from someone who is known to actually think in a truly innovative, creative manner.

Also, the observation "it is what it is" is nauseating. It says absolutely nothing.
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Old 02-10-2016, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Western North Carolina
4,915 posts, read 7,843,507 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
"Everything happens for a reason." No it doesn't. Some things happen for no reason at all. There is such a thing as coincidence. Or even if events occur that aren't coincidental, many times, we will never know why an event occurred.

"What goes around comes around" (the nice variation of "karma is a witch.") I don't buy that one either. Although it may comfort us, it's just not true. Many times, the bad guy wins, he doesn't get caught, evil never gets punished, and bad things happen to good people. So why choose to be good rather than evil? Because it's the right thing to do, and that should be reason enough.
Absolutely agree with you on both of these.

I hate "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". No it doesn't, it just makes you depressed and exhausted.
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Old 02-11-2016, 02:43 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,562 posts, read 3,766,960 times
Reputation: 6899
One saying I have hated for years.
Sticks and Stones May break Bones. But Words Can Never Hurt.
If you're feelings are hurt.

I think that saying is a pile of crap. #1, It is comparing apples and oranges. Sticks and stones can hurt physically - which words don't do. But words can hurt emotionally.

And they do hurt plenty of people. Plenty of people have committed suicide over cruel or harsh words spoken. In relationships, verbal abuse is just as big a problem as physical abuse.

The saying seems like it's stating that physical pain is the only thing that counts, and that there's no such thing as emotional pain that words can cause.
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:22 AM
 
Location: The Commonwealth of Virginia
650 posts, read 365,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghengis View Post
don't run with scissors, s'pose I'm in a hurry to bring them somewhere?
That's why it's better to throw them to somebody....
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:34 AM
 
Location: The Commonwealth of Virginia
650 posts, read 365,447 times
Reputation: 962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinero View Post
1: failure= success.
I read some version of this on Facebook all the time. Failure is only good when it doesn't count. And when it doesn't count, it is not failure its error. Error=learning=success. If you fail at something that really matters, you're ****ed.
Clearly, failure doesn't automatically equate to success. But truly successful people are the ones who know how to learn from failure. Everybody fails at some point. Successful people know how to deal with failure. The advice should be: Use failure as a learning opportunity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinero View Post
2: destruction is more powerful then creation. If you are defective, seek to destroy
Destruction is easier than creation. Which is why some lazy/defective people seek to destroy. But I'm not sure what the advice is. Are you advising people, if they know they are "defective," to go out and destroy? How many "defective" people actually know they're defective?


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