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Old 05-01-2016, 09:19 PM
 
7,981 posts, read 3,430,224 times
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I know several younger ladies who are consumed with having a baby. I don't get it. What's the rush?
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Old 05-01-2016, 10:06 PM
 
26,160 posts, read 15,284,678 times
Reputation: 17235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
Dont worry about WHAT THEY ARE DOING,do what you feel is best FOR YOU!!

Nothing wrong with being single and not having a baby!! (With the world the way it is now,its cruel to bring an innocent child into it)

Dont worry,your doing whats best FOR YOU!!!!!!
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Old 05-01-2016, 11:18 PM
 
65 posts, read 66,377 times
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When/if to marry and when/if to have children are personal decisions. Some people pressure others because they think their way is the best or only way. If your friends are pressuring you, that is one thing. If you feel "inadequate" because you actually want to be a wife and mother, and aren't yet, that is a little different.

May I suggest - if you want it, that is fine; just don't make that the all-encompassing goal in life. Have hobbies. Go to church. Be a "life long learner" (not necessarily back to college, but learn a new skill, sport, etc). Be secure and capable in your self; live life where you are now...you never know when you might cross paths with the "right" guy. Being balanced, healthy and capable of being independent puts you in a MUCH better position when it comes to choosing a spouse; you'll be more likely to marry because you WANT to than because you feel pressured (by yourself or others) to do it.

Last edited by kudzutoo; 05-02-2016 at 12:09 AM..
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Old 05-02-2016, 04:01 AM
Status: "Pondering the difference between America and AmeriKKKa" (set 23 hours ago)
 
Location: Dallas, TX
3,958 posts, read 2,088,228 times
Reputation: 3707
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
First, you just got out of nursing school. That alone is enough of a reason not to have kids or get married already.

Second, everybody's got a path to go down, and all paths grow further apart the more time goes along, especially if you're single.

Third, anyone (or society too, for that matter) who condescends or pities you for not having kids at ANY age is stuck in frankly narrow mindsets and has just plain ignorant criteria for how to size up a person's worthiness of respect. Hell, 30 years ago most people couldn't even value GLBT correctly. Same for racial and religious minorities over 50 years ago. If society proved so off-target in those two matters, then how can you trust our present valuation standards for other kinds of "different" (visible or not-so-visibly 'differents')?
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Old 05-02-2016, 04:17 AM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,079 posts, read 8,982,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college




At 25 you should be finding out who you are & want to be exploring the world not pumping out babies your not ready for or might not want. Do whatever it is that you feel, want, like, need to do. Don't give in just because someone else is doing it. It's YOUR life live it was YOU see fit.
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Old 05-02-2016, 06:21 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 2,147,586 times
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Do you want to be raising a family?
Do you want to be working?
Do you want to do both?

If you are feeling inadequate, that is more about what you want, not what other people are doing. Maybe you need to think about what you want to be doing. So many women often ignore getting into relationships thinking when they are older, the right man will simply appear, sweep them off their feet and cater to their every whim. It doesn't happen that way. Relationships also need attention (much like getting a degree needs attention and work), and time must be spent on how to find a mate and then actually get married, etc. It is WORK, just like a job. And it needs your focus just like getting a degree and a job does.

If you are happy with school/work, great, that works for you. If not, you need to think about how you want your life to be and then form a plan and ACT on it. Good luck.
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Old 05-02-2016, 08:46 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,202 posts, read 4,779,668 times
Reputation: 21511
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college

The best way to be happy with your life is to STOP COMPARING yourself to others. Look at what you do have: a good job and future lined up.
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Old 05-02-2016, 09:12 AM
 
3,575 posts, read 3,135,497 times
Reputation: 10674
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
That is their opinion. You need to do what is right for you. The women on my dad's side of the family all used to have their babies early also. Now there has been a change for some. The divide is the Have's and the Have Not's. Those of us who delayed having our babies, have educations and more money. The ones who think you should have all of your babies by the time you are 22 struggle more. Interestingly, most of us who made the change also ended up moving away from our core families for better opportunities and found more people like us.
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Old 05-02-2016, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 23,211,765 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
That is their opinion. You need to do what is right for you. The women on my dad's side of the family all used to have their babies early also. Now there has been a change for some. The divide is the Have's and the Have Not's. Those of us who delayed having our babies, have educations and more money. The ones who think you should have all of your babies by the time you are 22 struggle more. Interestingly, most of us who made the change also ended up moving away from our core families for better opportunities and found more people like us.
So true! I don't know many people who had children in their lower 20s who ended up well-off. We were 38 and 40 when our twins were born. And even so, it's EXPENSIVE. However, we're able to provide our children with many opportunities neither of us ever had. Why anyone would want babies in their 20s is beyond me.
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Old 05-02-2016, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Alabama!
5,843 posts, read 15,901,573 times
Reputation: 4322
We got married at 21, but I was just not ready to have kids until 29-30.
Don't worry.
You do YOU.
You're not missing anything if you're not ready yet.
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