U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Philosophy
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-30-2016, 07:24 PM
 
61 posts, read 67,629 times
Reputation: 105

Advertisements

I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-30-2016, 08:47 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,988 posts, read 70,797,892 times
Reputation: 76973
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
Mod cut. Where do you live, that people get married so young? Now that you have a nursing degree, you can relocate anywhere you want. You can move to a region where the norm is to marry a bit later in life. Cherish your freedom, and the opportunity to complete the maturation process before getting married.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-02-2016 at 08:03 AM.. Reason: Off-topic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 12:29 AM
 
Location: Not-a-Theist
3,440 posts, read 1,590,096 times
Reputation: 461
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
The GENERAL morality [theory] is if ALL people don't get married and have kids then the human species will be extinct within 3-4 generations.

On the other hand if everyone get married and have kids at the present rate, there will be over-population and all humans will suffer in various degrees as a consequence.

I think what is practical is some middle [or 3/4] way where it is ok if one do not have kids. There is no issue if 25% of humans do not have kids.
It is very possible nature has program some humans without any strong maternal or paternal instincts just like some are naturally gay, risk-takers and other minorities.

Thus I believe if one [you] are sure you do not have the maternal instinct*, then just accept it and don't compare yourself with others. There are lots of pros of not getting married and not having children.
* this maternal instinct is so strong and desperate in some childless people that we hear of women cutting up pregnant women to kidnap the matured fetus, kidnapping babies from hospital, homes, or go the great lengths to adopt a child, etc..

Therefore the critical element of this OP is for one to assess one's maternal instincts by self-reflections of one's feelings or mental state, or through a counsellor.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 12:34 AM
 
189 posts, read 134,169 times
Reputation: 511
If you have kids in your 20s, you're contributing to creating a new generation of humans every 20 years, exacerbating overpopulation.
If you don't have kids, you are killing off your genetic contribution potential to humanity.
Solution: Have kids in your 30s - delay the formation of the next generation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 03:19 AM
 
16,023 posts, read 19,725,810 times
Reputation: 26210
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
I was one of those girls that had babies right out of high school. Life was a struggle, it was much harder early on than it may be for you. You'll have a career to always fall back on. You can't know right now how valuable that is, but please hear me when I share with you that as a young(18-25) single mom at 22..I had to work 2 jobs, my babysitter cleared more than me.

You have done it the right way..(not that I regret my being a mom...my kids were worth everything) But, the reality is a person that has a career and takes their time finding their other half has imo a better start when they decide its time to start a family.

You will get there, you have many years to get there...follow your own path. Don't let others ruin your joy in the life and foundation that you are building.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 10:01 AM
 
13,493 posts, read 5,020,147 times
Reputation: 1368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
it not true. period. We have too many people already and having a child should need permits. You are just fine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,018 posts, read 7,778,187 times
Reputation: 12267
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
As you age and find your way in life, you may well find those that burdened themselves with marriage and children at a young age will envy you. Happened to my wife who never had any children and was never married until we married when she was age 32. We opted not to have children prior to marrying.

She was also an RN with a BSN and an MSN. She had a very rewarding career both monetarily and satisfaction wise. I wish the same for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 10:15 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
29,892 posts, read 54,596,860 times
Reputation: 31274
You are one of the smart ones. People should wait until they have become educated, are into a career, have a home and are financially able to support a family before having kids. That used to be the mid-20s, but in many areas, like ours, that tends to be delayed now until the mid-late 30s. Those getting married and having kids right out of high school are the same ones complaining that the minimum wage is too low.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,700,326 times
Reputation: 35450
Behind in life? Good grief! Where is the time table that says anyone has to do what, when? Whoever is telling you this needs to be told to mind their own business.

BTW, if not having kids yet puts you behind in life, I am waaaaaay behind. I just turned 70 and no kids. Gosh, where does that put me?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-01-2016, 11:33 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,976 posts, read 1,217,236 times
Reputation: 4368
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaellys View Post
I'm getting older, I'm 25 and I just graduated nursing school. I don't have kids or a boyfriend. Most girls my age are married and have kids. I feel so inadequate to these girls I went to high school with that went into raising a family instead of going to college
Did you ever think they may feel inadequate comparing themselves to you?

In this day and age I think it's wise for females to have a decent education or profession to fall back on. My daughter went through nursing school, worked, got married and eventually stayed home to raise the kids. She had to and wanted to go back to work though because her husband became ill and had to take early retirement.
.
At a certain point kids don't need mom as much and nursing offered her the best of both worlds. She mostly worked while the kids were in school and her husband got to really bond with them while he watched them until she came home.

Please don't listen to others. This is your life's journey, not theirs. You're not old.. There's still plenty of time for you to find the love of your life and have kids should you choose to have that life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Philosophy
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:02 PM.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top