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Yes, yes, and yes! You can not do EVERYTHING on your own and expect success. You have to have help, and family privilege is the best help you can have. It starts from birth. If you have a leg up at birth with parents who are willing to help you become (God forbid!) more successful than themselves, then there is a good chance you will be more successful than someone with parents who couldn't care less what their children do.
Case in point from a Hollywood perspective. Watch the two shows The Middle and The Goldbergs. Opposite ends of the spectrum on parenting and family privilege. If those shows were REAL, which children would be more successful? Goldbergs of course.
There is always "a magic step" that successful people conveniently forget about when recounting their rise to success. The magic step is that lucky, non-hardworking, situation that ultimately led them to where they are now. Seriously. If you look hard enough in any successful person's background, you will find that magic step, which had nothing to do with hard work on their part.
I've worked hard all my life, and even harder than most successful people. I'm waiting for my magic step.
Agreed.
It's been called the "self-attribution fallacy"; the taking of credit for successes
for which one isn't personally responsible (those aforementioned magic
steps).
"If wealth were the inevitable result of hard work and enterprise, every
woman in Africa would be a millionaire." -George Monbiot
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady
I don't think that hard work is meaningless though. As long as you're getting enough to live comfortable from it and as long as it doesn't harm your health. Work has to pay people enough to live.
Yes, a living wage. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Yes, yes, and yes! You can not do EVERYTHING on your own and expect success. You have to have help, and family privilege is the best help you can have. It starts from birth. If you have a leg up at birth with parents who are willing to help you become (God forbid!) more successful than themselves, then there is a good chance you will be more successful than someone with parents who couldn't care less what their children do.
Case in point from a Hollywood perspective. Watch the two shows The Middle and The Goldbergs. Opposite ends of the spectrum on parenting and family privilege. If those shows were REAL, which children would be more successful? Goldbergs of course.
There is always "a magic step" that successful people conveniently forget about when recounting their rise to success. The magic step is that lucky, non-hardworking, situation that ultimately led them to where they are now. Seriously. If you look hard enough in any successful person's background, you will find that magic step, which had nothing to do with hard work on their part.
I've worked hard all my life, and even harder than most successful people. I'm waiting for my magic step.
How many of you know that wealth is lost by the third generation?
The intangibles required to become wealthy, if that's what you define success as, has very little to do with how much money you start with and everything to do with what you do and how you do it.
Now there are people who believe in "magic steps", as the reason people become wealthy. Just to give you a hint, there is not a single "magic step" or reason someone becomes wealthy. It's a combination of factors.
There is a reason why people with down syndrome (et al) are underrepresented when it comes to the demographics of millionaires. Just as there are reasons crackheads are under represented. Give a crackhead with no desire to get off drugs 5 million dollars, do you consider the crack head to be successful? I would bet, the crack head either dies early or ends up in jail consistently, whether they have the millions are not. The money has no bearing on the crack heads ultimate disposition in life.
There are reasons why you are not wealthy, and almost all of them have to do with your own flaws, rather than the lack of some "magical step". It's okay, you'll find yourself happier if you stop defining success on wealth..
You look at most of the millionaires/billionaires, the money is a result of other motivations, rather than the desire to become wealthy. Story after story about these people concerning their incessant drive. That's not to say, "luck" or other variables did not play a factor (such as intellect, ability to learn, etc etc), but the more driven you are, the more opportunities you have to win. If you only play a game ten times, and learn all the ins and outs of that game to give yourself the best shot to win, you can only win ten times, or less depending on other variables. If you play the game 100 times, you will win significantly more, if you work at the game and learn it.
An example of this: You sit me down at a poker game with an inexperienced billionaire, who makes no effort to learn the game. I will eventually have all his money, if he keeps playing ( and no, not all in one sitting). That's not to mean I wont lose sessions, but over the course of time, my skill, experience of the game will far outweigh any sort of ecnomic advantage he may have.
Being rich does not equal success in life. If you are rich and resentful and jealous and miserable, and fearful, how does that make you a success in life? I doubt if being rich has any bearing on happiness or contentment in life. Once you get used to all the luxuries they are no different than what the average person has. Being happy has everything to do with your personality and philosophy and psychology and almost nothing to do with wealth beyond the basics of food, family, transportation and shelter.
Being rich does not equal success in life. If you are rich and resentful and jealous and miserable, and fearful, how does that make you a success in life? I doubt if being rich has any bearing on happiness or contentment in life. Once you get used to all the luxuries they are no different than what the average person has. Being happy has everything to do with your personality and philosophy and psychology and almost nothing to do with wealth beyond the basics of food, family, transportation and shelter.
You are absolutely correct. The only thing I would slightly disagree with is the bolded statement above. Having started out poor in Cleveland and having lived paycheck to paycheck until I was 40 and started my current business, I have to say that the incredible peace of mind that money brings is significant. It doesn't affect happiness, but it most certainly brings contentment. Not having to ever worry about anything financial is incredibly freeing.
Mike, I started with nothing as well living with a single Mom in small apartments, no car, no savings. To say we lived paycheck to paycheck doesn't really explain it because there was often nothing in the fridge a day before the paycheck arrived. Living at home and commuting, I worked my way through college, and worked paycheck to paychek at a bunch of jobs until I found my niche at age 42.
My wife and I raised three kids and didn't see financial daylight until I was in my late 50's. By the time I started drawing my first SS check, I was totally debt free. We are retired for about 9 years and don't have any financial worries now because we were content with having the basics, a house, a car, cable and home cooking. For the last thirty years or so we spent less than we made and saved a little. We still do. There is a big difference between having enough to be comfortable and being rich. So I stand by my statement that being rich doesn't bring anything more than being comfortable with the basics does. In fact I think being rich brings a whole slew of additional problems.
Am I happy to be retired with no money worries? Absolutely. I feel like I'm rich, but I'm far from it. Peace of mind comes from managing your finances properly, whatever they may be, rather than accumulating millions of dollars and spending it on a rich and famous lifestyle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustMike77
You are absolutely correct. The only thing I would slightly disagree with is the bolded statement above. Having started out poor in Cleveland and having lived paycheck to paycheck until I was 40 and started my current business, I have to say that the incredible peace of mind that money brings is significant. It doesn't affect happiness, but it most certainly brings contentment. Not having to ever worry about anything financial is incredibly freeing.
You are absolutely correct. The only thing I would slightly disagree with is the bolded statement above. Having started out poor in Cleveland and having lived paycheck to paycheck until I was 40 and started my current business, I have to say that the incredible peace of mind that money brings is significant. It doesn't affect happiness, but it most certainly brings contentment. Not having to ever worry about anything financial is incredibly freeing.
As Tevye said in Fiddler on the Roof, "It's no shame to be poor ... but it's no great honor, either."
I grew up middle class and have never really known want but only in the last third of my life have I been reliably upper middle class and while I agree it hasn't mattered in terms of happiness, it has certainly lowered stress levels and improved contentment.
We have to have something to live for, and if we work hard for that we will be happy. The key is to work hard for what WE want, not for what society, the government, our mates, etc want. But even that may be fine if it increases the greater good. Sometimes doing what we don't want to do is actually the right thing to do.
Humans are designed to be in motion, not to be sedentary. That leads to a host of very serious and even deadly physical and psychological medical conditions. When I work hard at a worthwhile project I feel good mentally and physically. When I sit around I stew and feel lousy physically.
Being poor at some point in our lives teaches us the value, and the limitations, of money. It also increases our compassion. There have been numerous studies which show that people of limited means have more compassion for others because they understand suffering. They have experienced it. If you have not experienced something, then you have very little understanding or empathy for it. Every spiritual discipline that has ever existed has placed emphasis on values and not money because truly, money does not lead to happiness. In fact. the pursuit of it leads to great suffering. We are either uncomfortable and unhappy because we do not have it, or we are worried that we will lose it once we get it. The money just gives us things that will distract us from our unhappiness, but that does not last. Often we are too busy making the money to enjoy what we can get w/ it.
Success, whatever that means, and happiness have nothing to do w/ wealth. If you have your health and work at helping others as well as yourself towards something worthwhile, then that leads to happiness. If you do not have your health and have no purpose to your life, all the money in the world will not help you.
People linking hard work with not being poor are factually incorrect. Hardwork by itself would not extricate anyone out of poverty, not these days anyway. People work more to secure a higher spot in the economic pyramid, a higher spot on the pyramid not hard work is required for one not to be poor. And at no time hard work alone was sufficient to move up to a higher spot allowing one to enjoy higher labor exchange ratios. Same true for any social & income group, you cannot move up to the higher level of parasitism by hard work alone. If you could we would have an economic plane instead of pyramid.
As for poverty teaching compassion, it doesn't really, I am tired of hearing blue collars making little money themselves complaining about the "welfare" windfall the guys down the food chain allegedly collect. They want anybody making less than them to eat dirt and suffer, because that is the way it should be, it eats them alive thinking that somebody down the food chain doesnt suffer as much as they should. Many low income folks voted Trump because they think he will impose appropriate levels of suffering to the folks down the food chain who just have it too good for their rank
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