Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My brother was upset at one point that we three siblings did not provide my parents with any grandchildren. My two brothers and I had no children. We're all way past that age now, and one brother is deceased. But at the time, my brother was a bit distraught about this issue while I never felt ever that I owed my parents grandchildren and the thought never concerned me in the least.
Many people cannot answer this question without getting really emotional about it or projecting all kinds of characteristics onto the person who might have the opposite view. Without the platitudes, moralizing, and slander, can you answer this question as objectively as possible? It seems many people’s answers are empty without the judgment and patronizing. It’s more a reflection of their sense of moral superiority than rational thinking. Philosophy shouldn’t be about your feelings but your thoughts.
Words like "duty" and "obligation" are solidly part of philosophical frameworks.
Yeah, children owe their parents some grandchildren. For millennia... for eons... literally for all of time as far as we biological units are concerned... our ancestors have survived and reproduced, so that the next generation can do the same. We OWE it to our biological legacy to continue this line... otherwise millions of years of work, planning, striving, survival, etc. are all for naught.
**** that. Once I'm done living, that's the end of my line. I've had enough, and I won't inflict this **** onto another 'me'. People who are still interested in this rigged game of unnatural selection can carry on as they like
Nope. Some people just want there to be a universal standard and there isn't one. And many people not only want their to be one standard, they want everyone to accept as the standard whatever their opinion is. But each situation is unique and the people involved will respond based on the unique dynamics of the situation whatever role they are in at the time.
This. Some people have horrible parents. Narcissistic ones, ones who were addicts (maybe not their fault but still not good parents), couldn't hold down a job and provide well enough for their children, abusive and/or neglectful parents, deadbeat or largely absent parents. What do children of these types of people "owe" their parents and why do they "owe" them?
In a perfect world, only stable (financially and otherwise) people would have kids, because everyone would realize how big of a responsibility kids are and how no one should have kids arbitrarily. Because cute little babies grow up to be children, teens, adults who are individuals who ideally need to be productive members of society and who will be likely affected in various ways by their upbringing. In a perfect world, then, children would help their parents out, in whatever ways they see fit and realistically could, because they were loved, well cared for, and they love their parents in return and are willing to provide for them as they were provided for. They have no problem "returning the favor." But it is not a perfect world, and not everyone has parents who were there for them in any or all the ways they needed. I do not judge people who ditch parents like these in adulthood and never look back.
JustNoMIL or raisedbynarcissists are great (sadly often very entertaining) reddit subs to read looking for the types of parents I am talking about. I was introduced to the former via a thread on CD, actually, when someone recommended an OP read that sub to find similar stories to what she had shared regarding her MIL, and people on that sub point readers to the latter sub I mentioned, because a lot of parents discussed have very narcissistic tendencies.
What these statements mean is that a couple would have to be damned fools to have children in the first place, and if a couple did have a child, they should spend as absolutely little as the law permits on that child and should instead put all that money into their retirement.
Without being as extreme...
I grew up in a household where we lived paycheck to paycheck. And you mentioned something in another comment about paying for college. My parents didn't give me a dime toward college and I have zero problem with that because yes, I would like to think that if they did have money to put toward retirement, they would do that before paying for my college. But that is just how I think.
I grew up in a household where we lived paycheck to paycheck. And you mentioned something in another comment about paying for college. My parents didn't give me a dime toward college and I have zero problem with that because yes, I would like to think that if they did have money to put toward retirement, they would do that before paying for my college. But that is just how I think.
However, if you start a thread about "Do parents owe their children a college education?" you'd see some of these same people declaring, Yes!
Yes. Me and my daughter's discussed this before. It's not about children owing their parents something, it's about family and taking care of one another. Children owe because it's a family.
Too bad that not every parent deserves to be taken care of buy their children. In the case of negligence, abuse, exploitation, drug use, incarceration, manipulation, household dysfunction, or even poverty, many children who are now adults have a good reason to stay away from the author of that childhood pain: their parents.
I don't have kids but when/if I do, they don't owe me a penny and I won't expect a penny. If they choose to "take care of me" in my older years then that's their choice. They're not obligated to.
However, if you start a thread about "Do parents owe their children a college education?" you'd see some of these same people declaring, Yes!
I imagine this is because of the OP's premise. People choose to have children, bring them into the world. Children don't choose to be born (nor who they are born to). Ideally, parents would do everything they could to set their children up for the best life possible, including education. This of course isn't possible for everyone, but if parents can at least contribute something to their child's education, they absolutely should. Parents DO owe their kids, maybe not full college tuition because that is likely often not possible, but the best they can to give their kids a good life, as the ones who chose to have said kids.
$640,000 each according to some study. I tell my kids that regularly.
My daughter says she only owes me 50 cents for a condom.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
