How to read & navigate Phx social fabric (not nightlife)? (Phoenix: school, college)

[Usehername]

I've lived here since July (in Tempe), and I'm having a lot of trouble reading how communities (I'm defining the term loosely) work here in the Valley.

For example, in NYC you can find a native New Yorker, who has a gazillion cousins and went to school with lots of people. You can use that one person to branch out until you find others that you resonate with.

Yet in the greater Phoenix area, everyone is new-ish. I don't know how to navigate the social terrain to get to the people I know exist that I can identify and resonate with.

I'm a reasonably athletic/musical/intellectual person, who hates clubbing/nightlife and just wants some local friends. It was so easy coming from a city where there are ties you can navigate; I don't understand how to navigate a young city where everyone is new.

Any tips? I'll take any meandering thoughts! It can't be super expensive (I'm a grad student) but I'm willing to invest in my social health.

[work_horse]

Try meetup.com, if your religious join a church, join a gym nice way to meet toned up women.

[work_horse]

Also try Happy Hours they love Happy Hours in AZ and network with your fellow classmates.

[observer53]

All of the above, plus volunteer work of all different kinds, Tempe has great and cheap classes through Parks and Rec dept as well.

[roundball]

Reddit has an active Phoenix, mostly Tempe, community.

You can either look on reddit or search them on facebook(pm me if you need help). People are always posting for people to go hiking, do art class, plays, bar crawl, ..etc.( and they actually get responses and get together) Laid back diverse community.

[Jkgourmet]

I remember moving here from Philly (grew up in long island) in 1989 and asking exactly the sane questions.

My best advice is that, first, you recognize and accept that nearly every single that lives here is as community-disconnected as you feel. What - like 85% of Phoenix metro residents moved here from another state. This is NOT an area that is defined by communities. (I wish it were)

Ssecond best advice is that every idea from the above posters are good Ideas. Join group stuff on things that you enjoy - hiking, rock hunting, cooking, sports, etc. Do you want to eat organic? Go to sprouts or whole foods and ask the pretty blonde to help you select a good watermelon. Then, ask for her number so that you can tell her if she was right or wrong.

Ask yours friends and coworkers if they can introduce you to their friends.

My most shocking advice? Try the online services - the Good ones (read: they may not be free). In the past 5 years, I've know 3 different couples who met that way. One is married, the other living together permanently, the third spending time as friends with benefits. All of them wished they had gotten into Online dating earlier.

But - be smart about it.

[exit2lef]

This sounds like more an issue of when than where. Explaining myself, the type of social fabric described here sounds 20th Century. It's based mostly on kinship and proximity -- who grew up where and who is related to whom. Like many fabrics, it is sturdy but it can also be constricting, so a lot of people are drawn to more contemporary social networks that form online based on shared interests. I'm not talking so much about forums like this one where most participants post under screen names and never meet face-to-face, but instead newer media such as Twitter, Yelp, and Facebook, all of which encourage the use of real names and involve a face-to-face component alongside the virtual. A few ideas for you:

-- Open a Yelp account and post some reviews of local businesses you like. See who else has reviewed them and "friend" them online. Attend an event posted on the site so you can meet some of those people in a safe public place. Some may become friends with you in real life.

-- Open a Twitter account and follow some organizations or businesses that you like. See who else follows them and start following those people. Some will follow back and you'll begin to build up an ongoing water cooler conversation with a local focus. Eventually you'll begin to hear about face-to-face "tweet-ups" where you can make contact in real life.

-- Facebook is the trickiest because it involves mutual "friending," and a lot of users don't accept friend requests from people they don't already know. Still, you can "like" businesses and organizations, go to events they post, and begin to build up a network that way.

[j_cat]

What you're describing just doesn't happen much in Phoenix. I've lived a lot of places now, and the closest I've come to that community feeling was in Flagstaff. I guess it's a small town thing, and/or a college thing. I don't know where else it exists.

[LS35a]

I've lived here seven years and don't have one close friend. People here stick with their families. Couples only socialize with couples. It's grim. Good luck. Actually, I'd move if you can.

[azdr0710]

"reading the communities", "resonate", "navigate the social terrain", "invest in my social health"....jeez....don't take it so seriously!!!!.....


you're a grad student...are there clubs, professional organizations in your field of interest at school?....ASU??....

the meetup thing is a very good idea and free!.....lots and LOTS of different groups there....

volunteer at a place with similar people, as suggested.....

part-time job?....

good luck.....