How does one politely deal with noise levels in uninsulated condos (apartment complex, co-op)

[christelhmayer]

I have tolerated a continuous signal alarm coming to my neighbor's (upstairs) internet during the day, at night, overnight, weekends and holidays. It never stops and sounds like a shot coming through the ceiling.
He denies it and actually accuses me of becoming senile. Not a very nice man, rather a crotchety one who is overweight and walks with shoes on a bare, uncarpeted floor.Whenever he "runs" to answer his signal, my entire downstairs shakes and all my paintings just rattle on the walls. He doesn't cook, doesn't speak to anyone, does not participate in any community events, I hear some very loud phone calls, I never hear the shower run? He is in his early sixties.
Did I give you a good picture
I am retired and spent all of my cash to buy this property and I can't just move!
I paint and participate with the community, I have some medical issues, I make average noises of cooking with pots and pans for one, taking showers, cleaning up and taking care of my gardening areas. I socialize little since I have to spend quiet time to concentrate on what I do. I also love to meditate and seek a better understanding of life. I presently have no pets. I am 75, old and pretty, female.
I dislike lowlife bickering and insults, but feel that is all I am going to get.
My co-op president is a very good lady and suggests to me non invasive approaches, like asking for quiet time from 10-7 which is the best I probably have at present. I am also searching for a wireless earphone but dislike cutting out life like hearing birds, the wind and other nature sounds.
If one of you kind, intelligent people can give me an idea which is doable without too much legal representation, I will appreciate it so much.
Close to insanity!

[olderandwiser456]

It's a tough issue regardless of where you live. People are defensive when they are approached about their behaviors, even if it's done by the management via email, etc, and not face-to-face. It's really hard to not get a defensive reaction.

Maybe try this: Mention that living in a community setting with shared walls, floors and ceilings requires that everyone pitch in and try to be aware of what noises they are making that might bother someone near them. Some people are just selfish jerks, unfortunately, and don't get it, but at that point, and especially regarding the continuous signal alarm 24/7, the management has to step in. Any continuous noise 24/7 coming from a unit that can be continuously heard by others has to be a violation of the association or condo rules.

Quiet time from 10 pm to 7 am needs to be enforced for everyone. That should be a co-op rule and if it isn't, maybe there's a way to add it to the rules that everyone should be following. I can't believe that noise issues haven't come up before at your co-op.

Earplugs might be a good interim solution. If you are a mac person, using the Apple airpods might help. They're small, and surprisingly effective at blocking out noises, not all, but some. At least there is the distraction of the music you are playing.

Expensive ($350-$400) over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones would definitely block out almost all surrounding noise, but wearing those is like being in a bubble. Great for airplanes or a noisy coffee shop, perhaps, but maybe not for day-to-day living.

[ringler24]

Truthfully there is probably not a whole lot you can do about it. This is often what happens when living in an apartment. Solutions are to only purchase units on the top floor or live in a single family home. Expecting the quiet needing to meditate during the day in an apartment complex with thin walls is unrealistic. If the noise is keeping you up at night you can see if the co op would send a note to him.

[Voebe]

You deal with it as you would any noise situation. Don't ask for quiet time. That implíes it's okay for him to drive you crazy the rest of the time.

First, start documenting the noise by keeping a log, when, how long, what kind of noise. You might try a decibel counter so you can complain precisely. Second, if some of the noise is at regular hours, have a friend come over to corroborate. Third, contact any adjacent neighbors who might be able to hear him. It will add weight to your complaint if there are other people joining you.

Then, I'd write him a letter. Start by reminding him that you've already mentioned the problem, and you'e sorry that he's taken no steps to fix things. Point out that there are some very simple things he can do, such as install carpeting (with padding!). Maybe he can take off his shoes. Would there be a volume control on the internet signal? Then say politely that you hope he'll make some efforts, because you don't want to embarrass him by making a formal complaint to the Board.

Chances are he'll do nothiing. Wait 2-3 weeks. Then, yes, a letter to the Board, attaching both your log and the letter you wrote him. And cross your fingers.