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Old 10-08-2009, 11:06 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,417 times
Reputation: 13

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sassieb75 View Post
Are your kids school age? Have you looked into play groups? Do you attend a Church? Those are all of the ways that I met people and made friends when I was a stay at home Mom. Also, check with the local communtiy centers for classes that you and the kids could take. You could for sure meet other moms that way. This is the easiest place to meet people. It has really taken me several years to make and build any longterm friendships. The first 3 years were lonely.
I have two children one is school age 5 to be exact and the other is 2. My 5 year old just transfered to a new school last week so I haven't become familiar with any of the parents nor her classmates. Yesterday, I looked at the meetup.com link LVD posted and I found one group in my area for SAHMs, I may look into joining that group. I definitely feel your pain lol even though it has not been a lonely 3 years for me, over 1 seems like forever.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:27 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,417 times
Reputation: 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by twiggy View Post
I know! You are so right sassieb! God, don't jump on her, it's tough when you are with the kids all day, in a new place.
You will just meet people in the weirdest places now and it takes longer than when you're young. I have friends now that did my hair, or live on my street and see them when I'm out front with my son. It's hard to go to meet groups and play dates they are usually weird if you're not friends with them first. Then there is the fact that you don't drink, lol, most parent groups that hang out drink, I have found it really hard to meet people when you don't drink socially, those are the social ones. The friends I have all have family parties but the adults that hang out socially drink. I don't drink anymore but I always hang out with the drinkers because those are the social ones. lol Unless you dig AA parties. he he Or get into the church gatherings, then I suppose you wouldn't be posting on city data.

Seriously, don't advertise that you don't drink or smoke and you will get invited to some parties eventually. You don't have to drink or smoke at them but those people are friendly, and want to hang out and party. lol
Otherwise, just get into your family and forget about a social life in that respect. Just enjoy the gossip at the parks and kid lands. I just forgot about it for a period of time and it was quite enjoyable having no where to go and just doing whatever I wanted.
Good luck to ya, and I don't mean that people who don't drink are boring, but, ha ha, we sorta are. lol Think about it. We just don't exude that, come hang out with me I'm fun thing anymore. lol

Oh, haha, and swingers and weirdos go to meet up groups, so be careful.

Holidays are good times for parties, people are always having Halloween parties and Christmas parties. If you get to talking with other moms, etc, they will eventually invite you to a party and then you're in like flynn.


Well that is true in my younger days when I was engaged in going to parties and drank I had plenty of friends. lol just goes to show... I know advertising I am boring lol slows down the process for making friends but I need to meet other boring people like me. lol I know your out there somewhere lol That why I kindof gave a description of what I am into because I knew if I did not, I would get response go to the club, happy hour, etc.. I figured you all knowing a little bit of my lifestyle would push me into the right directions as to where to go or what to do.

I am so into the family but defintely need some type of social life. Children 24/7 and the hubby, I need a break once in a while.

Who knew something so simple would be so hard. Maybe I'll just wear a sign and advertise "looking for friends" lol kidding...

I am going to try meetup.com and some other suggestion you guys have. Hope it works. And I will try to be careful or the net you always find some weirdos. Now I am a tad nervous I hope I do not encounter any swinger or......

I sincerely appreciate everyones help and thank you.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:32 AM
 
15 posts, read 18,650 times
Reputation: 18
I am a SAHM and I love it when people actually think you can just up and join a club, or roam around different locations hoping to meet people. It's tougher than some may think. I currently live in PA and after 2 years I know all of 3 people living on my block. I don't know about Phoenix (which my husband and I are considering relocating to) but most of the people here just aren't friendly, my car wouldn't start one day and my 'neighbor' watched me struggle, got into his car, and drove off. Taking my son to the play ground? that's interesting, feels like I'm in HS again with the catty Mom groups that make it awkward to be there. I'm not interested in the BS and politics that seem to come with large groups, nor do I want to be one of those annoying "power mom's". I just want a girlfriend or two with similar interests, who are in the same life situation as me. I feel for the OP, it doesn't seem that it should be that hard but it really is. Many feel that SAHM's have all the time in the world to go out and about, maybe we do, but we don't.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:37 AM
 
Location: 38,000 feet
2,725 posts, read 2,438,516 times
Reputation: 5776
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sensimilla View Post
I have noticed people in AZ seem to be very private, and not very open to making new friends. My fiance and myself have attempted to meet people, but strangely enough we have been approached by tons of swingers, interested in more than friendship.

We took a few cooking classes at PVCC and we met a few other couples that we hang out with every now and then.
OK OK OK - people -- this is the best networking city in the US. I have never seen such a place. You just have to look in the right places. There are networking groups here for just about any interest. You could go to a breakfast, lunch, and dinner meeting 7 days a week and not go to the same one twice.

For starters - here is a site for business networking:
Phoenix Networking Events & Groups | NetworkingPhoenix.com

There are women's groups where you don't have to be in business and could be a SAHM --
West Valley Women
Women of Scottsdale - Organization for Businesswomen and women from all walks of life in Scottsdale, Arizona

Go to the AZ Small Business site http://www.asba.com
They have networking groups for moms and working moms along with their general mixers

All the Chambers of Commerce (there are 13 in Phoenix) have mixers and events all the time.

If you are into pets, there is a coalition of all Pet Rescue sites at Pac911 and you could volunteer there

Here is the Greater Phoenix Area HomeSchoolers Link

There's Moms Like Me
Maybe ask them about a morning yoga class that meets after the kids go off to school.

All the community colleges have wonderful classes and lectures on a regular basis - during the day and in the evening. You will meet great people with similar interests at all of these.

One caveat - there is a group in the valley that advertises all the time that they "organize the event and all you have to do is show up." Google them thoroughly before going. They have a bad rep and apparently it's a hard sell when you get there and very difficult to get your money back.

There are many many groups in town that have no or a low fee to join, then you just pay for the lunch or whatever.

You do NOT have to be alone in this city.
Just about everyone here is from somewhere else.

Remember the advice my father (a pastor) gave me the first time I moved away from home, "Everyone is insecure about something; everyone is afraid at times. BE a friend and you will always have all the friends you need. You may even have some you never expected would call you friend."

You will have to commit to going several times - you may not meet someone the first time. But check your gut - did it feel like the right place for you? Give it a couple of times and then decide. But don't set yourself up for failure by believing that it's all that hard. I just made a new friend in the grocery store yesterday. We were looking for the same thing, then ran into each other in a different aisle and pulled the same thing off the shelf. We started laughing about that, talked for an hour, and we're meeting for coffee. Her son is going in for the same surgery as me. So we are supporting each other through it. Life doesn't have to be hard...

Not only that -- from time to time, we have City-Data gatherings. So stay tuned in the Community Chat Section

Life is good.
Now, get off the computer and go meet some people!!!
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Old 10-08-2009, 10:28 PM
 
Location: NW Phoenix
477 posts, read 1,062,395 times
Reputation: 142
The truth is, is that it is EASY to meet people. It's just, are they the kind of people you want to become friends with and can trust? That has really been my issue. I have gotten to know many,many people since moving here. But, over time something may happen. I find out they are cheating on their spouse(not my kind of friend), or they move, or you just find you don't click. It does take time. Before you know you will have one or two friends that you can feel safe with, and that has a spouse that gets along with yours. Two is a good start in my opinion. Then eventually, that two turns into four and so on. It is especially hard when you have a baby or toddler. Good luck with the moms group, that is a great place to start!
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Anchored in Phoenix
1,757 posts, read 2,343,799 times
Reputation: 1279
I guess I'm too old to know. The "M" in SAFM" means "mom?"

Maybe I should have looked at Wickipedia in advance?

In her original post I did not have the smarts to see that she had children.

MEA CULPA.

And that's partly facetious to defend myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sassieb75 View Post
She is a stay at home mom, meaning she does not work. It's not easy to just take a flight somewhere when you are raising a family, and playing sports with kids in tow doesn't really work. Did you even read her post?
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Old 10-09-2009, 09:45 AM
 
539 posts, read 1,192,569 times
Reputation: 275
It took me about 2 years to figure this out, where as I used to go out, to clubs, bars etc, but soon found I was meeting the WRONG kind of people.
Now I attend networking events, socials, political functions, joined various committees and just really got involved in my community. I have met like-minded people that have the same beliefs and goals as I do. I stay busy. Now I'm to the point where I'm entertaining by throwing dinner parties, listening parties and wine tasting events.
Meetup dot com is a great starting point as well!!
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:33 AM
 
Location: Phoenix
162 posts, read 72,589 times
Reputation: 44
Find people with similiar interests, and don't be affraid to talk to people you don't know.
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:23 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,702 times
Reputation: 10
I am single, have lived in Phoenix for three years and even though I have "friends" at work, they don't want to socialize with anyone outside of work! So you see I have the same problem...I only read your initial post, and not the replies you've gotten, but I do see the one above that says "don't advertise that you don't drink or smoke and you will get invited to parties..." ... hasn't happened to me! I don't even like to tie up the phone lines, I just need a friend who will occasionally do things with me, etc.
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Old 11-14-2009, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Casa Grande, AZ (May 08)
1,151 posts, read 1,901,493 times
Reputation: 785
I cant remember if someone is this revived thread had posted this link earlier:

www.meetup.com Lots of groups in the valley with all sorts of interests!
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