Need good marriage counselor

[observer53]

Originally Posted by KarmaPhx

Sounds like a friend or family member could do the same thing for you, why pay someone to tell you what you already know? You have issues obviously, it can't be that hard to figure out why you're getting divorced.

Karma, if you don't have an answer to the OP's question, why even get involved in the discussion? You are young, you haven't been married yet, to my recollection. If the OP and their spouse are trying to save their marriage, who are you to criticize how they are going about it?????

To the OP-- I don't have a recommendation for you, but I will ask a few people I know who might be able to give me some suggestions.

Good luck to you!

[crystalys]

I have 2 referrals for you, they are both in North Phoenix area, so don't know how far you are willing to travel:

Telia Kiteley of Arizona Family Resource Counseling Center
10000 N. 31st Ave. Suite A-105, Phoenix, AZ 85051
602-843-0000
Marital Issues Counseling in Az

Ed Lauritsen of Family Psychology Associates
14045 N. 7th St. Suite 4, Phoenix, AZ 85022
602-993-4595
Phoenix Marriage Counseling and Premarital Counseling

I have personally used both their services in the past, not for marriage counseling, but for family counseling for our daughter who was a teenager at the time. They both do marriage counseling though, and they are both very straight forward and not touchy-feely. Conflict resolution was a big part of the experience with them and I believe our family came away from it in a much happier condition. I hope you get the outcome you are seeking.

[Klaudia]

We went to one of those "community center" counselors a few years ago, and she helped us a great deal.
To this day I believe is what kept my husband and I together and better understand each other. Our marriage isn't perfect, but it's workable.
What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to spend tons of cash. I hope the previous poster's referrals work out.

I'd definately not use a relative as a counselor. I noticed that who's ever relative that is they tend to take that spouse's side and that doesn't help either. A counselor or someone who doesn't know you tellls each of you what your doing wrong and what you're doing right, and puts each of you "in your place", without taking sides. That's what worked for us. Both of us saw each others mistakes and also what one was offering to the other.

Good luck, tough times.

[phone icks]

Thanks everyone for your encouraging words, I am hopeful we can work things out once we get some specific help.

Crystalys, thank you for those names, I will contact them, they are a bit of a drive for us, if my spouse would prefer someone closer, more on the East side, then I'm sure they can refer us to someone closer.

Claudia, thanks for the tip, I hadn't thought of that.

[RCR]

Try Barb Brown at Attitudes & Issues.com on Price Road just south of the 202 in Chandler.

[mfpd]

Marie Haddox, Spectrum Counseling. Val Vista / Pecos in Gilbert. She is good.

[finnari]

Originally Posted by KarmaPhx

Sounds like a friend or family member could do the same thing for you, why pay someone to tell you what you already know? You have issues obviously, it can't be that hard to figure out why you're getting divorced.

wow. talk about bad advice. If your marriage is on the rocks why bring in a "friend" or family member? You need professional non jugemental advice.

[KarmaPhx]

Originally Posted by finnari

wow. talk about bad advice. If your marriage is on the rocks why bring in a "friend" or family member? You need professional non jugemental advice.

Becasue often times having an outside perspective on a relationship is exactly what you need, all you're going to do is pay someone to listen to all your problems when your friends and family are seeing your problems for free.

[observer53]

Originally Posted by KarmaPhx

Becasue often times having an outside perspective on a relationship is exactly what you need, all you're going to do is pay someone to listen to all your problems when your friends and family are seeing your problems for free.

If that's the way you plan to handle, or have handled, relationship problems, that's fine, but it's not the best way for everyone, as has already been stated. Everyone's interpersonal dynamics are different. Friends and family are not always "seeing the problems for free".

And, some people want, and need, a true outsider with specialized training.

To the OP, best of luck. I hope you are finding what you need.