Redneck pictures. Please post yours. (money, images, JPG)

[John1960]

Some more pictures.

[John1960]

THINGS YOU'D NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.

Do you think my hair is too big?

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

The tires on that truck are too big.

I've got it all on a floppy disk.

Do you think this ball cap goes with this shirt?

****** if that polititian ain't honest!

We're vegetarians.

I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

You can't feed that to the dog.

Trim the fat off that steak.

I just love the Opera

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

Wrasslin's fake.

[Sweden]

Seriously, thank G-d I'm alone in the house right now- people hearing me would have thought I was going crazy!

Now I've got some "exercise" to report on todays exercise thread!

[norm]

[deerislesmile]

[mm_mary73]

Originally Posted by Tek_Freek

Dueling Banjos - Google Video

Turn on your sound! But not at work.

You found my neighborhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also like that Christmas deer - my neighbors would be so jealous!

[John1960]

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

[vasinger]

I don't think its nice to make fun of poor people.

[John1960]

You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.


You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.


Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


You burn your yard rather than mow it.


The Salvation Army declines your mattress.


You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


You come back from the dump with more than you took.


You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


You have a rag for a gas cap.


Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.


You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.


Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.


Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.


You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.


And last, but not least...


Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

[John1960]

Redneck mule