More Foworthy redneck bits
You might be a redneck if..
..Your current wife was the bridesmaid at your first wedding
..Your wedding picture includes you and your wife holding something you caught fishing or killed hunting
..You've ever ruined your high-heel shoes while working on your truck
..People come to your door thinking you have an auto salvage business
..You don't get any mail for a while and you think it's because you haven't paid your postal bill
..The post office discontinues your service because the mailman keeps getting stuck in your driveway
..Your high school graduation made the headline of the local paper
..You wear a tank top without a bra
..You've spent your entire vacation in a rest area
..Your yard's fence is made up of old cars
..You've ever gone hunting on a tractor
..You've ever relieved yourself in your neighbor's yard
..If you consider watching professional wrestling with your wife "foreplay"
..The gas inside the tank is worth more than your car
..You've ever proposed over a pay phone or a 900 number
..You tell your date you're interested in her by saying "I've been wanting to date you since I read that stuff about you on the bathroom wall"
..The last time you took your wife to a drive-in movie, she had to hide in the trunk
..You've ever used hairspray to kill flying bugs
..You've ever Fedex'd beef jerky or beer
..Starting your truck involves popping the hood open
..Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays
..You whistle at women in church
..Your barber has to wear gloves to cut your hair
..Your will mentions "truck tires"
..You have no idea how many pets you have
..You use your sheep and goats to mow your lawn
..You've ever accepted an invitation written on a bathroom wall
..You hold the hood of your car with your head while your work on it
..You use a bungee cord as a seat belt
..There's a belch on your answering machine greeting
..If you can belch and say your name at the same time
..The fishing supplies store is forced to garnish your paycheck
..You think "Wireless Communication" means yelling across your front yard
..You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape
..You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws out to a movie
..Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight
..Your home decorations cosist of your gun collection
..You think your dog is "house-trained" because that's the only place he will go
..Your local beauty salon also fixes cars
..You think a "Mailbox" is a male sex toy
..You think DVD is a sexually transmitted disease
..You think "Four Seasons" are onion, pepper, salt, and garlic
..Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet
..You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge
..You and six of your neighbors split the cable TV bill
..Your church has a "happy hour"
..Your buddy shows you a picture of a naked woman and it's your wife
..The centerpiece of your landscaping only got 12 miles per gallon
..Part of your parole states that you're not allowed to own sheep
..If your mother ever walked out of the bathroom and said "Hey y'all come and look at this before I flush it".
YOU Might Just Be A Redneck!
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