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[Hopes]

My referring to my husband as "hubby" is no different than my saying "Husband and I went to the store."

Hubby is like a nickname for husband. The nickname for wife would be "wifey." I'm sure louiemoon wouldn't find that very endearing either.

Eliminate the THE in "the wife" and say that it's the THE that makes it derogatory, than replacing THE with MY would be "my wife" which displays OWNERSHIP.

This is the internet. Nobody has the perfect solution for protecting identity while refering to family members.

btw, Pittnurse, I hate the DH way of doing it to because there's no gaurantee that everyone's husbands are dear.

Then again, the D could also stand for damn!

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by subdivisions

My husband refers to me as "The Girl". I call him "The Boy".

Neither one of us thinks it's derogatory. It's just our funny nicknames for one another.

That's cute!

Hubby doens't refer to me as anything since he doesn't use the internet for interacting with others.

Seriously, we all use our spouses' real names in real life.

That's why I found louismoon's offense quite unnecessary.

[Katiana]

Hopes:

This is the internet. Nobody has the perfect solution for protecting identity while refering to family members.

btw, Pittnurse, I hate the DH way of doing it to because there's no gaurantee that everyone's husbands are dear.

Then again, the D could also stand for damn!

We are all going to get chewed out for getting off topic, but. . .

Yes, I agree with the first statement. Even though my husband has a common name, I don't want to use it on the internet. My kids have less common names (sometimes the only ones in their schools) and I am very reluctant to mention those on the internet, as someone could easily 'connect the dots'. As for my husband, there are times when he meets both definitions of DH! I think when he talks about me, not in my presence, he refers to me as "my wife".

[louiemoon0810]

Originally Posted by Hopes

My referring to my husband as "hubby" is no different than my saying "Husband and I went to the store."

Hubby is like a nickname for husband. The nickname for wife would be "wifey." I'm sure louiemoon wouldn't find that very endearing either.

Eliminate the THE in "the wife" and say that it's the THE that makes it derogatory, than replacing THE with MY would be "my wife" which displays OWNERSHIP.

This is the internet. Nobody has the perfect solution for protecting identity while refering to family members.

btw, Pittnurse, I hate the DH way of doing it to because there's no gaurantee that everyone's husbands are dear.

Then again, the D could also stand for damn!

Using "The" before wife makes his wife seem like an object to him. It's seems very impersonal....and like I said earlier, derogatory. At least by using "my" before wife, you attach some sense of yourself to that person. I don't think "my wife" necessarily speaks to ownership....as much as it speaks to the fact that she is your wife, plain and simple. How else would you refer to someone who is your spouse, without using "my"?

BTW, I'm fine with hubby....and other nicknames of the sort. My only issue was with "The".

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by Hopes

That's cute!

Hubby doens't refer to me as anything since he doesn't use the internet for interacting with others.

Seriously, we all use our spouses' real names in real life.

That's why I found louismoon's offense quite unnecessary.

In real life I call Brent all sorts of things -- but when on the internet it's far easier to say hubby than explain who Brent is all the time. I like hubby because my dear Aunt Anne Abbott, long from this earth, used to call her Sam her hubby, and her eyes would crinkle up smiling a very happy smile.

And since my hubby makes me very happy, too -- I smile the same way.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by louiemoon0810

How else would you refer to someone who is your spouse, without using "my"?

Jim, Bob, Sue, Mary.......or "the" is apparently an option too! LOL

Originally Posted by louiemoon0810

BTW, I'm fine with hubby....and other nicknames of the sort. My only issue was with "The".

It's just an internet usage like all the other examples shared here. Very few men refer to their wives as "the little woman" or "the wife" in real life.

[louiemoon0810]

Another thought......in terms of this being the internet....I think that's a poor excuse, also. People's natural tendencies really aren't all that much different on the internet vs. in real life. If anything, I would think that one's true behavior becomes more apparent on the internet....b/c of the prevailing anonymity.

So, if this guy calls his wife "The wife" on the internet....my guess is that he may also call her "The wife" when around his buddies or male co-workers. Just a hunch.

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by louiemoon0810

Another thought......in terms of this being the internet....I think that's a poor excuse, also. People's natural tendencies really aren't all that much different on the internet vs. in real life. If anything, I would think that one's true behavior becomes more apparent on the internet....b/c of the prevailing anonymity.

So, if this guy calls his wife "The wife" on the internet....my guess is that he may also call her "The wife" when around his buddies or male co-workers. Just a hunch.

Is there a chance your personal experiences are clouding you on this? Brent has called me "Da Wife" every once in a while with friends, like I call him "the old coot" -- to us it's meaningless fun banter.

He may also call me that when he's working -- I don't know, I'm not there... but it doesn't matter.

Because we both love each other and respect each other. THAT'S what's important.

[louiemoon0810]

Originally Posted by Hopes

Jim, Bob, Sue, Mary.......or "the" is apparently an option too! LOL


It's just an internet usage like all the other examples shared here. Very few men refer to their wives as "the little woman" or "the wife" in real life.

Let me clarify. If you met someone for the first time and you were speaking in reference to your spouse.....you would likely qualify them as being your spouse.....rather than simply stating their first name....b/c the person would have no idea who you were talking about. That's what I was referring to. If you met someone for the first time and referred to your spouse as "The wife, Mary...blah blah, blah...." I'm thinking that the person may look at you funny.

And whoooaaa......please don't start with the generalizations. Too many people on these boards feel obliged to speak on behalf of groups of people. "All blacks are this way"...."Most gays do this or don't do that"...."Very few Jews feel this way...". I think what you meant to say was that very few men THAT YOU KNOW use "The wife" in real life.

[louiemoon0810]

Originally Posted by Tallysmom

Is there a chance your personal experiences are clouding you on this? Brent has called me "Da Wife" every once in a while with friends, like I call him "the old coot" -- to us it's meaningless fun banter.

He may also call me that when he's working -- I don't know, I'm not there... but it doesn't matter.

Because we both love each other and respect each other. THAT'S what's important.

My personal experiences are this....many people are simply unaware that what comes out of their mouth may be inappropriate. That's pretty much it.

If you don't mind your spouse calling you "The"....great. I have no idea whether the original poster loves and respects his wife. All that I know is that he refers to her as a noun.