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I hope that you and your father can find an area in the middle where you can maintain contact with your family. As a mom, I know it would break my heart to have a son who divorced me. I'm sure your mom feels the same way.
I would imagine it's RR's father who did the divorcing. At least, that's how it happened for me. I spent one entire "holiday" dealing with this with my parents, who were just horrible to me. If there really is any truth behind the Catholic concept of Hell, well, my parents, now deceased, will at least have spent some time in Purgatory by now for their actions during this period.
A few years later, I changed my entire life around because my father insisted I attend my brother's wedding. I moved back from the West Coast, only to find myself at war with him and my brother, who were also at war with each other. I'm not going to go into specifics, but I can promise you the word "grandchildren" was uttered with some regularity, perhaps my father's only civilized expression of his objection to my "choice." All of this again, when he had known for five years I was gay.
After the wedding, I moved away again, and didn't see my father for the remaining 8 years of his life. When he died, my only reaction was irritation that it ruined my Thanksgiving weekend by forcing me to travel "home" for his funeral.
You worked for Lowe's for a long time, right? I'm sure there are Lowe's in the Pittsburgh area....given your history with them, you might be able to find a job there until something better comes along.
Check with your local churches.Sometimes they will have group activities for people that are not able to be with family for the holidays. This would also be a great way to meet new people. Good luck with your job hunting!
No, I am also straight, but I have nothing agains gays/transvestites/trasnnsexual etc.
If anything they should be able to adopt. Anyway, it's a shame when parents can't accept children for who they are. Although we live in the 21st century there are still many backward people out there. Jay and RR sorry for what you've been through and wish you good luck.
Anyway, it's a shame when parents can't accept children for who they are. Although we live in the 21st century there are still many backward people out there. Jay and RR sorry for what you've been through and wish you good luck.
Agreed.
I'm straight as well and it's ridiculous how gay people are looked at as second class citizens, even to their own families. Hopefully within a few decades those close minded generations will be all but gone and people will open up more.
I've seen plenty of people here in Pittsburgh speak openly against gay people in the workplace (before I got office jobs, this was while I was working in the grocery store/glass plant/bowling alley). This horsesh*t needs to end already.
Pittsburgh employers are often picky and often move slow. Hopefully these latest opportunities work out, but eventually something will.
Thanks. Patience is a virtue (or so they say). I'm patient when interacting with the public, colleagues, and superiors in professional settings. When am I not patient? When I'm driving behind a left-lane lolly-gagger or when I'm realizing I will be destitute for 6 weeks between receiving my last paycheck this week and receiving a $4,000 cash windfall in late-January from my retirement account. I'm remaining as upbeat and idealistic as ever, and my frustrations with being simultaneously "over" and "under" qualified for many positions has not deterred my love of this city.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kippy
If you go to the websites for the major employers in the area, you will find a wealth of job postings. Most, if not all, allow you to apply for positions online.
According to Wikipedia, these are the major employers in the region:
Also, you may want to visit the jobs section of The City of Pittsburgh's website as well as Allegheny County's website.
In case it is important to you, Edible Arrangments is a national franchise.
Thanks for the tips. I've already applied to most of these fine organizations. The day after I moved here I grabbed a pen and paper and walked Downtown, where I jotted down just about every business I could see where I could conceivably see myself working at. The difference? A big place like Bank of NY Mellon, PNC Financial Service, Citizens', Federated, etc. is probably going to take a few months between receiving my application and (potentially) shaking my hand as they welcome me aboard whereas with a position like the Edible Arrangements one, where they may need immediate help to keep pace with growing volume, especially as the Holidays are upon us, I may be driving around within a week of applying for the position.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
You worked for Lowe's for a long time, right? I'm sure there are Lowe's in the Pittsburgh area....given your history with them, you might be able to find a job there until something better comes along.
Lowe's doesn't offer many opportunities in this area because while Pittsburgh is doing better than the state and nation, overall, in terms of unemployment that's because there seems to be a 1:1 ratio between residents and available jobs. The store nearest to me, which is in a lifestyle center known as "The Waterfront" (sort of like a better-planned Shoppes @ Montage for a point of reference), was only hiring for delivery drivers and a plumbing pro when I inquired in-person about opportunities. I am clueless when it comes to plumbing/piping, and the thought of driving a big box truck and maneuvering refrigerators up and down the steep narrow stairways here wasn't appealing. I have a friend who used to work with me at the Wilkes-Barre store who now works at the store on McKnight Road in McCandless Twp. (in the northern suburbs known as the "North Hills"). He nudged me on Facebook and told me that a position for customer service manager had just opened. I applied, but I haven't heard yet if I've been selected to interview.
Life is all about choices. If I hadn't moved to Northern Virginia's rat-race in May 2009 I likely would have been in a management position now at my former store in Edwardsville. Out of a sheer "why not?" moment I noticed the position for manager in my former department there opened up, so I applied. I then learned via Facebook from my former manager of that department (who had since been moved to a different department, involuntarily) that the position had already been filled before I had even applied. However, when I went to visit former co-workers at the store my one former zone manager came over and mentioned he "heard a rumor" that I had put in for the position. I told him it had already been filled, and he said "Yeah, but that guy didn't work out..." It sounds like I would have been a shoo-in back at that place, but given tensions between my immediate family and I right now I wasn't going to move back to the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area, even for an opportunity like that. Where I am now in Pittsburgh I'm a quick 4.5-hour drive away, which is just close enough to race home in the event of an emergency yet far enough way for "distance", if you catch my drift.
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Originally Posted by Denton56
It's your father who you are estranged from? I thought you said Uncle, but you can't jip an uncle out of grandkids! Sorry, I missunderstood Your Dad's upset because you are jiping him out of grandkids? Don't you have siblings with kids?
Why would you think that all, or even most, conservatives care about people being gay? None of the conservatives who I know care a bit about sexual preferences or what anyone does in the privacy of their own home. We're not into telling other people how to live. You might have noticed that when it comes to some of the things that you want to legislate! haha We want the government OUT of our lives! My conservative friends supported a gay candidate in your previous district in Virginia! He's conservative too!
I hope that you and your father can find an area in the middle where you can maintain contact with your family. As a mom, I know it would break my heart to have a son who divorced me. I'm sure your mom feels the same way.
Isn't it interesting how family patterns are repeated, generation after generation? Even patterns that are self defeating are perpetuated. Sad for everyone.
I never expected my dad to throw on a purple tiara and go parading through the streets of Downtown Scranton. Contrary to popular belief in real life I'm not a "queen" (or any variation of that word that a moderator may have called me, but I digress). When I was 18 I was traumatized severely by my "coming out" experience because it wasn't planned. I was with a guy, clandestinely, for about a year. We went to amazing lengths to keep my parents out of the loop, but eventually, as with most schemes, it fell apart, and they learned. They both hit the roof. After the relationship was torn apart I was sent to a therapist to "ungay" me. To this day I think my mom has "come around", and she keeps trying to leave me money all the time (probably feeling guilty about the bad relationship my father and I have). She's more liberally-minded than my father, who is a staunch conservative. My father may never "come around" until he's on his deathbed. He and his father have been estranged since the mid-1990s, and I've made it a goal to see my paternal grandfather somehow one last time before he passes away, as I haven't seen him since that time.
Thanks to my father I tried "following his footsteps" (against my wishes) and chose my college, major, and even career based upon trying to give him a reason to feel proud of me instead of telling me "At work all the guys talk about their sons and brag, but when it comes time for me to say something I have nothing." Now I'm paying hundreds of dollars per month in student loan debt for a degree that is worthless to me. THIS is what led to my "quarter-life crisis" that prompted me to quit my job, find someone to add to my VA lease, and flee to Pittsburgh because THIS is where I truly belong. I love and miss Scranton more than anything, and I know I could do wonders to help rebuild that city, but since I'm obviously NOT going to be in such "close quarters" there Pittsburgh was the next closest thing. The Steel City will benefit from me once I'm no longer so destitute that I skip meals. By Spring 2011 I hope to be on firm footing here and will really be a breath of fresh air.
What grudge do I hold? A MAJOR one. I haven't felt love like I did when I was 17-18, and I don't think I ever will again. My first love and I were so close we were already walking around West Pittston, a historic suburb near my hometown, and comparing and contrasting our tastes in architecture for when we'd build our own home together someday. Then he left me for fear of my father hunting him down and hurting him for "turning" me, if you catch my drift. That traumatized me terribly, and now I'm going on 25 and am still alone. I've been so ravaged by stress that people honestly think I'm 30 or 32. My 18-24 years have been destroyed thanks to his less-than-stellar reaction for a defect that has no cure. How can you possibly even start to make up for something like that? You only live once, and my youth is gone.
Yeah, it's a tragic story all around; it is amazing some of the "hidden tales" suburban families hide behind closed doors, is it not? My father and his father? Estranged. My father and me? Soon-to-be-estranged. I do feel badly for my poor mother, but my life has been ruined because of him. Pittsburgh is the first thing in my life I'm doing for ME, so those who have been criticizing me for moving here and for quitting a "cushy Fed job" should back off. As a fiscal conservative myself I could no longer feel ethically-sound collecting a paycheck for a job I hated, knowing that salary was funded by taxpayers. I may be VERY morally questionable (let's not go there, but let's just say when you unleash someone from a very strict household things can and will happen), but ethically I'm rock solid.
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Originally Posted by Aqua Teen Carl
That's not a bad idea. In addition to their normal positions, they have programs that train you to work in their HR departments as well. My best friend's girlfriend is about to go into one of the programs now. Since you have a degree, maybe you can try to get one of those gigs especially since you like dealing with people? It's worth a shot. Either way, good luck and I hope things work out.
As I said upthread I have no qualms about returning to Lowe's, and since I left on good terms and had a great sales history I would (hopefully) be welcomed back into the organization. The problem is just a lack of opportunities here. I also applied for positions with the East Liberty Home Depot (although personally, no offense intended to anyone in this thread, I always liked Lowe's better).
Quote:
Originally Posted by XRiteMA98
Reston, I don't know what your degree is in and if you would like to pursue a career in it. Just fyi there are many companies hiring and for my current position I simply applied on the company website. It took about 3 months and two rounds of interviews until i got the offer. And the manager told me i got the job because of my thank you letter. Appartently they had two equally qualifed people who did equalyy well in the interview but only one, I, did send back a thank you letter pinpointing what I could do for them.
As for X-mas, well, i can see your anger with your grandpa but I don't understand why you punish your parents. However it's your decision. I'd suggest to spend X-mas with you boyfriend or volunteering.
As for employers not wanting to hire overqualified people there is a reason: if something else opens up the overqualified person will be gone in a second. nobody wants that. I'd suggest you taylor the resume. In life you need to make compromises to get what you want. You are too young and too proud of your accomplishments but if you want the job you have to morph into what the employer wants. This doesn't mean that somebody is going to take away the degree from you. In my life - I am a legally immigrant in this country and became a citizen long time ago- I've seen engineers working as sales people at macy's, PhD washing dishes and heart surgeons in their own land going to med school in this country inorder to be able to practice medicine. All of them had jobs well under their education and did not mention it in the resume. Not that it mattered to US empoyers. I'm just saying this to you to show the compromises/efforts other people made in other to accomplish their goals.
Go for jobs in the suburbs. There's always public transportation Have you tried Giant eagle? How about toys R us? I've seen a sign on their window this weekend? if i am not mistaken there is a 7 eleven across from the Wood subway station (on Liberty ave) that has a sign "hiring".
Thanks for the insight. The bad blood isn't between my grandfather and I. My maternal grandfather passed away before I was even born. My paternal grandfather hasn't seen me since 1995 due to another family rift. The tensions are between my father and I. My sister is about to turn 30, is financially secure, married, and has a beautiful home. SHE can deliver the grandchildren they seek, but I do have to admit I envy my sister, too, because I know she will be the one to curry greater favor with BOTH of my parents in the coming years because she lives five miles from them AND will deliver them their grandkids while I'm just the tiara-wearer in their eyes. No offense intended to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, but while it offers a lot of great things tolerance is not one of its strong points. People jump onto "anti"-everything bandwagons instead of having a "live and let live" mentality, which I find to be reprehensible (and is also, in my opinion, a reason why the area is struggling so horribly economically). I was collateral damage with the 1995 rift. Now my mom will be collateral damage with this new rift. After six years of him harboring this grudge towards my sexual orientation and making me feel so guilty I'm just not going to take it anymore. That area has a "bubble" around it that keeps it Archie Bunker-like. I'm not the "pride parade" type. I'm actually the "butch" one, if that makes sense. Nevertheless I would have people scream anti-gay slurs out their car windows at me in the suburb of Avoca when I'd go running. One even threw a beer bottle at me once. It's NOT exactly a "progressive" place to live, and the economy there will ALWAYS be awful until people there realize that the negative perceptions many (including investors/entrepreneurs) have of the area ARE borne from situations like that.
I have an interview tomorrow at 2 PM for a position in Robinson Twp. I'm not thrilled about the idea of a lengthy commute, but they sound very interested in me and what I can offer. Beggars can't be choosers right now, and this position will offer benefits after 90 days and a wage that will be sustainable for me ("livable" will come if I can figure out a way to impress Edible Arrangements enough to hire me on as a weekend-only basis for delivery if I accept this other position). I have an interview on Tuesday morning for a position in Dormont at a specialty fireplace retailer. I actually stopped by today to browse their selection, and I was LESS than impressed by the rude service I got. Considering my extraversion, sales expertise, and ENGAGING (not alienating "Whaddya want, boss?!") attitude I SHOULD be a shoo-in there. The problem? I have a hunch it's probably minimum wage (plus commissions), but I was the only one there the entire time browsing, so how many sales do they honestly have? It only took me 15 minutes to get back-and-forth between Polish Hill and Dormont, which isn't bad at all. What do I NOT like? The stretch of West Liberty between Pittsburgh and Dormont confused the living daylights out of me. There is a double-yellow line and no white-dashed lines on either side of it, yet people were forming their own lanes practically three cars wide up and down the entire corridor, cutting one another off left and right. Throw in oddly-parked vehicles and MAJOR potholes, and I was holding on for dear life as I headed for the Liberty Tunnel.
As far as Christmas goes I don't even know if I have a "boyfriend" right now. I've been trying, but tonight I'm having a "talk" with him because I'm being very neglected. Last night I drove home (with a burned-out headlight) through some heavy snow squalls in the Laurel Highlands and was almost run off the road by a sliding semi. Why did I gun it home from VA in such conditions? He said he wanted to see me. As I entered the exurbs of Westmoreland County I received a text indicating he was going to bed (knowing full well my arrival time was 10 PM). Otherwise I would have just spent the night sleeping on the floor of my old place in VA after signing the paperwork to have a woman added onto my lease. Selfish things like this while I've been selfless have been grating on me. I'm just so frustrated with stress right now. I put up Christmas decorations in my front-facing windows, and that still hasn't put me into the Holiday spirit, either. I don't want to spend the day on Facebook/City-Data, but, at the same time, I'm not going back to NEPA. Even if we are "boyfriends" after tonight it's too soon, in my opinion, for him to invite me home to meet his family in Lancaster County.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwonderwhy2124
Try to get into PNC's call center. The fact that you have a degree makes you an almost shoe-in and you can move into other positions once in. They start you out in the low 20's with benefits I believe.
I'm going to try this route as well, assuming NONE of the three interviews I have tomorrow and Tuesday come through for me. I've already written off the interview I had last Friday with a Downtown hotel because their interviews were all-day that day, and I haven't received a call back yet about a second interview. For $10/hr. and a night-shift position I'm not losing sleep over not being considered for that in the end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jay5835
I would imagine it's RR's father who did the divorcing. At least, that's how it happened for me. I spent one entire "holiday" dealing with this with my parents, who were just horrible to me. If there really is any truth behind the Catholic concept of Hell, well, my parents, now deceased, will at least have spent some time in Purgatory by now for their actions during this period.
A few years later, I changed my entire life around because my father insisted I attend my brother's wedding. I moved back from the West Coast, only to find myself at war with him and my brother, who were also at war with each other. I'm not going to go into specifics, but I can promise you the word "grandchildren" was uttered with some regularity, perhaps my father's only civilized expression of his objection to my "choice." All of this again, when he had known for five years I was gay.
After the wedding, I moved away again, and didn't see my father for the remaining 8 years of his life. When he died, my only reaction was irritation that it ruined my Thanksgiving weekend by forcing me to travel "home" for his funeral.
I'm sorry to hear this, Jay, as I think my own life will parallel your own. People in NoVA never understood why I hated the area so much. I felt like I had no loving family back in PA, so I tried to assemble a "second family" of tight friends in NoVA. The problem? People in NoVA are generally so stressed from commuting hassles, demanding careers, finances, etc. that they aren't exactly the most "welcoming" types, overall, and many keep a certain "distance" between themselves and social acquaintances (I won't even call most I had met there "friends"). This meant that I soon found myself in a position I wasn't happy with in an area where I felt unwelcome (and with the homogenized built environment of DisneyWorld, at least in my eyes). My attempts at romance all failed and culminated with an emotionally-abusive fling of mine going out with a colleague I had failed to win over after pursuing for months. Everything there was so "cutthroat", and I just tired of it. Denton56 lives in a very rural part of NoVA, so she's obviously going to disagree with me, as people in her area don't exhibit these horrible qualities the way people closer to DC did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwonderwhy2124
Haha, am I the only straight person in this thread?
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies
no
There's a few of you. Denton56 is married, and I believe BrianTH is too. I can't vouch for anyone else's personal life.
Thanks, Jay. As I said, though, when I inquired in person neither of the two positions available would have been a good fit for either me or the company---a slim dude pushing a refrigerator on a dolly up a steep flight of concrete stairs or a clueless plumbing "pro".
Quote:
Originally Posted by slimmingchick
Check with your local churches.Sometimes they will have group activities for people that are not able to be with family for the holidays. This would also be a great way to meet new people. Good luck with your job hunting!
Thanks for the suggestion! I'm actually still looking for a new church. The Lutheran Church Downtown (Grant Street?) came highly recommended to me. As a lifelong Lutheran, though, I'm open-minded to trying other options. I believe Jay might have been the one who recommended a more liberal-leaning church in Shadyside to me. I also saw a beautiful stone church on Forbes Avenue in Squirrel Hill with a rainbow flag, which I presume would mean I wouldn't raise any eyebrows if I eventually coerced...errrr..."convinced" my prospective better half to come along with me.
No, I am also straight, but I have nothing agains gays/transvestites/trasnnsexual etc.
If anything they should be able to adopt. Anyway, it's a shame when parents can't accept children for who they are. Although we live in the 21st century there are still many backward people out there. Jay and RR sorry for what you've been through and wish you good luck.
Thanks for the support and concern. I have absolutely zero scientific evidence to reinforce my hypothesis, but I truly do believe that God (assuming there is a God, as I'd like to think there is) is increasing the proportion of the general population that is non-heterosexual in hopes of helping to curb overpopulation. There are already so many unloved children in this crazy world while there will now simultaneously be more qualified same-sex couples who can take them in.
You have to love the arguments against gay adoption of "They'll turn 'em gay, too!" Really? How many gay individuals today came from straight parents? Nearly 100%. If straight parents couldn't turn their own offspring heterosexual, then why should one assume that a gay would turn their adopted children homosexual? That sheer ignorance is what really makes me worry about the future of this country.
As for me? I DO plan to adopt in the future once I'm financially secure, whether I'm partnered or not. The burden will then shift back to NEPA if those there wish to see these adopted grandchildren or not because this impending rift will have to heal by then. If not, then I'm staying in Western PA.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aqua Teen Carl
Agreed.
I'm straight as well and it's ridiculous how gay people are looked at as second class citizens, even to their own families. Hopefully within a few decades those close minded generations will be all but gone and people will open up more.
I've seen plenty of people here in Pittsburgh speak openly against gay people in the workplace (before I got office jobs, this was while I was working in the grocery store/glass plant/bowling alley). This horsesh*t needs to end already.
It is ending, thankfully. Successive generations are becoming more and more tolerant of diversity---in all forms. I grew up in Pittston, PA, a suburb of Scranton, that was probably 99% Caucasian, non-Hispanic (with a surprisingly huge closeted gay community, but I digress). I moved to Northern Virginia, which is one of the most diverse areas of the country in every sense of the word. How did I adapt? Easily. I even dated outside my own race and ethnicity, and I would gladly do so again. I'm open-minded. My sister is also. Ditto my brother-in-law. All of our parents? It's a mixed bag. THEIR parents? Not so much for being tolerant, generally speaking. OUR offspring? Most will probably be more open-minded.
I'm sorry to hear this, Jay, as I think my own life will parallel your own. People in NoVA never understood why I hated the area so much. I felt like I had no loving family back in PA, so I tried to assemble a "second family" of tight friends in NoVA.
Paul, reading what you wrote in this thread today was so similar to my experience with my father, at one point I had to look up to see which one of us had written it.
Coincidentally, I ended up living in DC as a direct result of this thing that happened with my father. Since, when my father essentially demanded my presence at my brother's wedding, I decided to quit my job out west and move back to New York permanently, my boyfriend quit his job and came with me. The wedding experience was so horrible, when he got a job offer in DC, we moved there together. He stayed for a year, then moved to NY. I was in DC for 20 years. I liked it, and there was no way I was going to live near my father ever again, certainly not in the same "message units" phoning district.
My current set of friends in Pittsburgh don't quite relate to someone's having a family they don't have anything to do with (I have two siblings), but that's okay. Maybe I'm not quite normal that way, particularly in such a familycentric place as Pgh, but I live with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RestonRunner86
I believe Jay might have been the one who recommended a more liberal-leaning church in Shadyside to me. I also saw a beautiful stone church on Forbes Avenue in Squirrel Hill with a rainbow flag, which I presume would mean I wouldn't raise any eyebrows if I eventually coerced...errrr..."convinced" my prospective better half to come along with me.
And the church at Forbes & Murray is called Sixth Presbyterian, or "Sixth Church": http://www.sixthchurch.org/
Last edited by jay5835; 12-08-2010 at 04:37 PM..
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Have you tried Giant eagle? How about toys R us? I've seen a sign on their window this weekend? if i am not mistaken there is a 7 eleven across from the Wood subway station (on Liberty ave) that has a sign "hiring".
It only took me 15 minutes to get back-and-forth between Polish Hill and Dormont, which isn't bad at all. What do I NOT like? The stretch of West Liberty between Pittsburgh and Dormont confused the living daylights out of me. There is a double-yellow line and no white-dashed lines on either side of it, yet people were forming their own lanes practically three cars wide up and down the entire corridor, cutting one another off left and right. Throw in oddly-parked vehicles and MAJOR potholes, and I was holding on for dear life as I headed for the Liberty Tunnel. 
