Gay life in Pittsburgh (Scranton, Penn: job, campus, business)

[guylocke]

I think it is really strange that someone who chooses to have sex with the same sex would spew out hateful homophobic party-line garbage!

Yeah!! I know, that's exactly what upsets gay people so much. I was just being sarcastic earlier about Republicans. There are good and bad politicians on both sides, but it just seems recently Republican men have been dabbling in gay sex and yet are brutally anti-gay.

[ScranBarre]

I'd personally like to thank Pittsburgh for showcasing to the rest of the nation that the ENTIRE state of PA isn't full of uneducated anti-gay witch-hunting lynch mob rednecks by how civilized you have been thus far on this thread. If someone from NYC were to come onto the Scranton forum inquiring about the city's "gayborhoods," they'd probably be told "stay away; we don't need YOUR KIND here." It's sad that I live just 45 minutes from the state line of NJ, where people have legalized same-sex civil unions, yet in my own community my boyfriend and I feel as if there are all sorts of venemous, hateful eyes staring at us when we are walking around town. Why is it that heterosexual couples are permitted to not only walk hand-in-hand but also to peck each other on the cheek in public while we can't even look at each other for too long without raising eyebrows? It truly is sad. Hopefully when I'm in office things will get better in terms of securing equality for everyone.

[Agbor]

It's all politics...exspounding a certain party-line to get elected does not automatically
coincide with the politician's personal feelings on that certain issue...but if they know an
emotional issue in the culture,in this case (gays) can set a nerve with some people in
the population to get elected it will be used...

A lot of times too,if a leader (religious or political) in his or her speeches seem to always come around to bringing up a certain topic all the time obsessively, (like adultery,homo-sex) ranting against it,usually that person is having a PERSONAL issue with that topic..if they are doing something, the "anti-rant" is used to throw people off..to make people think.."he would never do THAT" he is always against that"...until a scandal hits...

[vwscottie]

Originally Posted by ScrantonWilkesBarre

Why is it that heterosexual couples are permitted to not only walk hand-in-hand but also to peck each other on the cheek in public while we can't even look at each other for too long without raising eyebrows? It truly is sad. Hopefully when I'm in office things will get better in terms of securing equality for everyone.

I think it's actually kind of strange you are asking that.

I think it will be years, if ever, that people totally accept homosexuality. My personal feeling is, being a heterosexual man, it's just disgusting to see a man kiss another man, or even think of a man being attracted to another. I went through a period in the late 90's where I really wasn't dating anyone, and for whatever reason, attracted alot of gay men, including one older man who I had arrested for stalking me. So I'm extra disgusted by it. I was always told that it I should take a gay man finding me attractive as one of the greatest compliments of all, but for someone who couldn't find a woman at that time, it was very discouraging and upsetting.

[RockLobster]

I went to the last mayoral debate at the studio of WQED Public 13 Thursday evening. One of the first questions asked of both mayor Ravenstahl and Mark DeSantis was if either candidate agreed to Gay marriage or Gay Union. Mayor Ravenstahl said he is not agreeable to either gay marriage or gay union. Challenger Mark DeSantis said not Gay marriage but that he is in favor of gay union. By the look of the faces in the crowd most people seemed suprised that DeSantis was the one that said yes to Gay Union..

[guylocke]

I think it will be years, if ever, that people totally accept homosexuality.

That's sort of a ridiculous statement. It will most definitely become accepted and will become nothing more than "rarer than heterosexuality" not only sometime, but sometime in the near future.

Every single year new polls come out that show there is greater and greater acceptance and approval of gay people. Some states, like New Jersey, have a very NARROW majority that supports same-sex marriage. That is the first time in American history and just think, not even 50 years ago, it would have probably been ZERO percent.

You also have to realize that at one time, the world did indeed accept and even embrace homosexuality. It was mostly the birth of Christianity that changed the world's views on the matter.

I am in my early 20s and my generation is overwhelming accepting of homosexuals. The majority of my generation definitely supports same-sex marriage, etc, and when we grow up, it will be a non-issue, I guarantee it.

Just seems like it's long in coming for some of us..

[guylocke]

A lot of times too,if a leader (religious or political) in his or her speeches seem to always come around to bringing up a certain topic all the time obsessively, (like adultery,homo-sex) ranting against it,usually that person is having a PERSONAL issue with that topic..if they are doing something, the "anti-rant" is used to throw people off..to make people think.."he would never do THAT" he is always against that"...until a scandal hits...

Yeah, that's a basic text-book case in psychology. There is a great deal of research that shows that men who are truly secure with their own sexuality are usually quite pro-gay or gay-neutral. They realize that if they are straight, nothing will ever change that, and gay people can't "convert" them, etc.

It takes a very secure man to hang out with gay guys, and expose themselves to gay culture and not think that two men kissing is disgusting, thankfully, I have many of those straight men in my life!! (it helps I can kick their ass at video games).

I'm not saying that's always the case, not in a long shot, but is definitely is a major player in homophobic or anti-gay psychology.

[suzeeq521]

Thank you for getting my point - I know that I wasn't getting it across very well, especially because I wanted to point out that it does happen on both sides. The Dems just don't use hate. But they do use plenty of other stuff to divide parts and fool the voters.

Can you tell I'm a bit jaded this election season? It is going to be horrible by next year.

[vwscottie]

There is a great deal of research that shows that men who are truly secure with their own sexuality are usually quite pro-gay or gay-neutral. They realize that if they are straight, nothing will ever change that, and gay people can't "convert" them, etc.

I love all this research that gays always quote

Well, I can promise you, I'm secure enough to know there's nothing that will ever be attractive about a man to me. I suppose I would be considered neutral, but just as there are many people who don't like to see heterosexual couples displaying affection in public, there are many of us who don't care to see men kissing. I don't care if you get married or whatever you want.

[guylocke]

I suppose I would be considered neutral, but just as there are many people who don't like to see heterosexual couples displaying affection in public, there are many of us who don't care to see men kissing. I don't care if you get married or whatever you want.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that to single you out. I agree, I am not really one for ANY type of public display of affection. However, there is a difference for you thinking something is appropriate or inappropriate (PDA's) over disgusting (two men). LOL.

That research that I didn't quote can actually be found in the most recent edition of the DSM IV. A quick google search will yield a wealth of information on the matter. I'm not quoting the bazillion studies that have been on it.

Here is one little theory by Nancy J. Chodorow, Ph.D. I post it because it's a nice read, not because it has huge scientific merit. She believs (along with many) that homophobia is nothing more than a method of protection for male masculinity. She also goes on to quote other research from other sources which you are welcome to look up.
Homophobia- American Psychoanalytic Foundation Public Forum
This are some interesting quotes.

Operating in homophobia is that in the most general way our culture, and, I believe, our profession, rests on two contradictory facts. On the one hand, men are considered powerful or dominant, and a male presence in an important institution is assumed. On the other hand, masculinity is a fragile and vulnerable business and needs to be carefully fostered and protected.

I have begun with extremes, gay bashing and murder. It is here, parenthetically, that I question the term homophobia as a clinical term. Phobias imply fear and avoidance, but homophobia is really a counter-phobia which, in its extremes, leads to attacks and seekings out, and which is constituted by virulent hatred that I think we can only understand in terms of primitive splitting and projection -- more like ethnic hatred of those who are so threateningly like someone that all likeness has to be denied and difference exaggerated.

we see in boys’ difficulty in separating and differentiating from mother, the fact that femininity is ascribed and assumed, a natural progression from mother to daughter, while masculinity as it is defined intrapsychically and in relation to others is defensive, earned, and constantly threatened.

From the side of the father, we know from developmental research that fathers are more invested than mothers in gender-differentiating their children -- in the masculinity of their sons and the flirtatious heterosexual femininity of their daughters.

We could also go into the thorny debate about how homophobia is actually irrational and skewed, even evoking a secondary sexist quality. As you know, many straight men who DO find two men together to be repulsive, have no such qualm when it comes to two women.

Of course, hypocrisy and equality come to the table now. I've heard straight men tell me before they don't think gay men should be allowed to be in unions but have no problem with two women. That's just plain stupidity. LOL.