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Old 01-21-2008, 06:41 PM
 
353 posts, read 552,950 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by guylocke View Post
You can usually be both nice and right. Everything can be said tastefully. Just because you are telling someone the "truth" and it's something they don't want to hear doesn't mean it's RIGHT to do it ignorantly or disrespectfully.
I use the words that I use when they are the most apt words for describing the situation. I'm sorry if the first thing that comes to mind might not be the most diplomatic, but I'm not sorry for that.

How about this "I don't think your family is fully aware of the circumstances surrounding the current condition of the city"... Translation... "They are ignorant."

I'm not trying to be an ass, but I don't think I should feel bad for calling it the way it is. The original author certainly spared no one's feelings in what he/she expressed.

Nor did I pick the language I did to "get back" at the original poster. I simply used what best described my thoughts. If some find it offensive....
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Old 01-21-2008, 06:56 PM
 
353 posts, read 552,950 times
Reputation: 79
BTW... it seems that everytime I come back to this forum I get into an discussion with the two of you about my choice of wording and my lack of concern with feel good rhetoric. I assure you, my intent is not to offend. If you let me hang around long enough, I am sure you will find that I actually can be rather charming and I'm not always so blunt about things. But... I answer tone with tone. I will be aggressive against any aggressor... kinda like Israel on a one man scale.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:06 PM
Status: "Happy Halloween!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
69,179 posts, read 58,353,146 times
Reputation: 19713
Do keep in mind one is not to give negative rep for simply disagreeing with a poster.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:07 PM
 
2,902 posts, read 6,908,169 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
How about this "I don't think your family is fully aware of the circumstances surrounding the current condition of the city"... Translation... "They are ignorant."
To be perfectly honest, the way you reworded it is a great example. To you it seems silly, but it's appropriate. You SHOULD think before you say things, because words are hurtful. You know they are and I know they are. So sure, you may think someone is ignorant, but wouldn't your goal be to enlighten them instead of downright disrespecting them? I agree with you completely that honesty is the best policy, but there is also a little something called life-skills. Our society is run by unwritten guidelines and many are appropriately so. For example, it's honest to tell your little kid that santa is a load of crap. But do you do that????? We have to gauge the nature of a situation or conversation before just speaking "what's on the top of our mind."

And if you want to rebel and don't believe in those unwritten guidelines, then you may have one of several personality disorders. (and that, of course, was a joke).

Last edited by guylocke; 01-21-2008 at 07:19 PM..
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:12 PM
 
353 posts, read 552,950 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by pittnurse70 View Post
Do keep in mind one is not to give negative rep for simply disagreeing with a poster.
I'm not sure what you mean
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:15 PM
Status: "Happy Halloween!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
69,179 posts, read 58,353,146 times
Reputation: 19713
I wasn't referring to you. And I do agree with this latest post of guylocke's, too. Frank, even blunt is OK. Disrespectful is not. Calling someone's family ignorant is disrespectful. You would not want someone to say that about your family.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:16 PM
 
2,902 posts, read 6,908,169 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
I'm not sure what you mean
You are able to rate someones post negatively or positively with the little "scale" icon in every post. If you really like what someone is doing, for example, being helpful and kind, you may give them a positive rep to show that.

However, forum rules state that you CAN'T give negative rep by simply disagreeing with another poster. A difference of opinions is not merit to give negative rep.

I wrote that assuming you may not know what rep is at all, if you do, I beg your pardon.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:18 PM
 
2,902 posts, read 6,908,169 times
Reputation: 397
Quote:
Frank, even blunt is OK.
That's right! You just have to gauge the situation. Sometimes being blunt is a very effective means of proving a point or getting a message across, but like Pittnurse said, blunt and frank are different than ignorant and disrespectful. I'm not really even referring to you supersoulty, I'm just having a conversation.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:20 PM
 
353 posts, read 552,950 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by guylocke View Post
To be perfectly honest, the way you reworded it is a great example. To you it seems silly, but it's appropriate. You SHOULD think before you say things, because words are hurtful. You know they are and I know they are. So sure, you may think someone is ignorant, but wouldn't your goal be to enlighten them instead of downright disrespecting them? I agree with you completely that honesty is the best policy, but there is also a little something called life-skills. Our society is run by unwritten guidelines and many are appropriately so. For example, it's honest to tell your little kid that santa is a load of crap. But do you do that????? We have to gauge the nature of a situation or conversation before just speaking "what's on the top of our mind."

And if want to rebel and don't believe in those unwritten guidelines, then you may have one of several personality disorders. (and that, of course, was a joke).
Not to sound huffy, but I'm 24, not 14. I do have a pretty good understanding of how things work in an organizational setting. I am also familiar with discretion, which I willing choose not to exercise when the the tone of the person I am rebutting is overly-hostile... which I judge this posters to have been.

I think it was very crass of the poster to suggest that we all move out of the city and ruin it even further just so that the posters property values can go up. I personally believe that the poster is full of hot air and has no actual understanding of the circumstance of which he speaks (in otherwords, he/she is ignorant).

I'm not trying to convince the poster, as they seem to be fully convinced of their view, judging by the tone of the post. And my intent was to fully express what a steaming load of BS I thought the posters comments were.

That being said I harbor no general resentment toward anyone else. So please, no one else take my comments as being intentionally rude.
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Old 01-21-2008, 07:21 PM
Status: "Happy Halloween!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
69,179 posts, read 58,353,146 times
Reputation: 19713
Quote:
Originally Posted by guylocke View Post
You are able to rate someones post negatively or positively with the little "scale" icon in every post. If you really like what someone is doing, for example, being helpful and kind, you may give them a positive rep to show that.

However, forum rules state that you CAN'T give negative rep by simply disagreeing with another poster. A difference of opinions is not merit to give negative rep.

I wrote that assuming you may not know what rep is at all, if you do, I beg your pardon.
You can lose rep points yourself for giving negative rep inappropriately.
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