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Old 08-17-2018, 03:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wood_lake View Post
Very interesting view points so far and it explains quite a bit.

I partially agree on the "fakeness" thing of the South. Wait staff can be nice to want tips, absolutely. There can be a bit of shade behind that smile sometimes.

But selfless acts like holding the door open for people and saying "excuse me" and "sorry" made me feel good. Plus I just like how people would strike up randomly friendly conversation at dinner or while waiting in line somewhere. I have yet to have that happen to me in Pittsburgh (the conversation part).

Southerners can be quite loud too, but don't have the "tell it like it is" (which would be considered rude) mentality.
I grew in in NY and Pittsburgh people seem friendly to me. I don't really need the superficial charm stereotypical of the south. I'm generally fine with people as long as they don't intentionally harm others. In my experience people will say sorry and thanks though.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, PA (Morningside)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PGH423 View Post
I grew in in NY and Pittsburgh people seem friendly to me. I don't really need the superficial charm stereotypical of the south. In my experience people will say sorry and thanks though.
Yeah. If you say hi here, people will generally say hi back. They might not want to have a 10-minute conversation with a stranger, but they won't look at you like you have nine heads as they would have if you went up to a stranger and said hi back home in Connecticut.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:17 PM
 
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Quote:
But one thing that we have noticed is that people here are extremely rude.
Bless your heart.

Now explain what Southerners really mean by that phrase, and you'll see the difference in the cultures. A Pittsburgher would use the term "jagoff" instead.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:24 PM
Status: "Too Much Mod" (set 21 days ago)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eschaton View Post
Yeah. If you say hi here, people will generally say hi back. They might not want to have a 10-minute conversation with a stranger, but they won't look at you like you have nine heads as they would have if you went up to a stranger and said hi back home in Connecticut.

HA, my brother grew up in north NJ. He moved out here a few years ago and said he couldnt get used to people waiving to him to say hi, he wanted the middle finger from everyone to feel like home.
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Old 08-17-2018, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eschaton View Post
I'm not from the South, but I'm not from Pittsburgh. I grew up mostly in New England, so arguably I come from an even "ruder" region. My two cents.



Compared to what I was used to driving in metro NYC, I don't think Pittsburgh drivers are very aggressive. In contrast, I think they're often overly-cautious when it comes to things like merging, which causes problems.



Before I went to college in Massachusetts, I had no idea people held the door open for one another anywhere. It initially struck me as so odd.

Regardless, I think this is a regional difference. I don't like being called sir - makes me feel old. I don't like it when someone who isn't actually interested in me feigns interest for the sake of appearances. To me this comes across as fake.



I'd rather have waitstaff be surly and honest than be fake friendly. Usually the baristas in my work building are here for years, and I like asking them what's wrong if they seem down, kvetching about how long it is until friday, etc.



You're absolutely right about this one. There's not a lot of cross-racial socialization here compared to what I was used to from elsewhere. And the amount of open racism (not veiled discussion about "those people" like I heard growing up, but outright racial slurs) really shocked me when I moved here.



I haven't noticed this personally, but it doesn't surprise me.

Compared to what I was used to before moving here, there were two big differences between Pittsburgh and how I was used to people acting.

1. People here are really, really loud talkers.

2. Pittsburghers do not have a filter. They say whatever is on their mind. Often it's pretty offensive, but they usually don't genuinely mean it to be offensive. The idea of modulating what they say based upon the audience just never occurs to them.
My husband, from Nebraksa, laughed when I asked him if he thought Pittsburghers drive agressively. They aren't as agressive as they are in Omaha, where "everyone" speeds.

Actually, I'd prefer the waitstaff be nice, so I can have as pleasant experience as possible. I guess it's different if you have a personal relationship with the person, as in your office.

Not much overt racism here (Colorado), but not much mixing either.
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Old 08-17-2018, 04:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goinback2011 View Post
Bless your heart.

Now explain what Southerners really mean by that phrase, and you'll see the difference in the cultures. A Pittsburgher would use the term "jagoff" instead.
It's actually very rare to hear "bless your heart" anywhere in Raleigh. It's supposed to be a back handed and passive aggressive comment but quite honestly you don't hear it much. It's a bit of an outdated stereotype.

I don't think a direct insult is comparable and I have seen in heard Pittsburghers call strangers much much worse our of car windows and in baseball game parking lots.
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Old 08-17-2018, 04:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Actually, I'd prefer the waitstaff be nice, so I can have as pleasant experience as possible. .
I agree with this, along with just casual interactions being pleasant. I can't speak for others, but when I say sir/mam/please/thank you I genuinely want to be a nice person. It's not a front nor is it being fake.

I think it just encourages society as a whole to be a little more harmonious. Pittsburghers seems to be actively against this thought process and put up guards.
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Old 08-17-2018, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Manchester
3,109 posts, read 2,893,618 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wood_lake View Post
It's actually very rare to hear "bless your heart" anywhere in Raleigh. It's supposed to be a back handed and passive aggressive comment but quite honestly you don't hear it much. It's a bit of an outdated stereotype.

I don't think a direct insult is comparable and I have seen in heard Pittsburghers call strangers much much worse our of car windows and in baseball game parking lots.
Thats why I drive with my windows up...I seem pleasant but I can also vent my unending frustration at other drivers.
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Old 08-17-2018, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania/Maine
3,704 posts, read 2,636,756 times
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Native, Pittsburgh born and breds are overly nice and kind for the most part. I find issues with millennials or transplants in the 18-35 age group who were raised by parents that gave them everything and didn't discipline for fear of whatever. These are the adults that have no manners, feel entitled to everything and cannot even utter the words "on your left" when whizzing by you on the bicycle and within a few inches of you on the rail trails.
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Old 08-17-2018, 06:35 PM
 
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When I first visited Pittsburgh four years ago, I was struck by how friendly people were! Actually had two different people in the first two days say let them know if I needed anything, including a fellow who specifically offered to help me move! Context is that I have lived all up and down the west coast (but not in the south).

Driving: Too much indecision and hesitancy, but not otherwise worse than elsewhere. Maybe more horn-blowing, but sometimes it's indicated.

Pleasantries and courtesy: Better than I'm used to. (I once held a door in Seattle for a young woman coming down narrow stairs with a heavy box, and she pointedly shoved her way out through the other door.) More sirs and ma'ams than back west, from both young and old.

Service: It does bug me when somebody makes it plain that they'd rather not be making me coffee or taking my order or whatnot, honesty not withstanding, and I'm less likely to return (or tip well). I've experienced about as much of that here as elsewhere.

Racial harmony: This is a pretty segregated city compared to the south, I understand. I have no idea whether the south has more genuine racial harmony or not, though my stereotypically-influenced bias wonders.... (I find myself assuming that you're speaking from a white perspective.)

Temper and fights: Haven't seen it at all, but at the places you mention, people drink alcohol. Maybe Pittsburghers are harder drinkers than you're used to?

I found Seattelites in particular tending towards phony surface niceness that you could scratch off with a popsicle stick. I like folks here better.
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