Early 30's single male and frustrated... (Pittsburgh, Denver: live, moving, places to go)

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Originally Posted by dugdogmaster

I've heard plenty of good about Austin, TX, good luck if you move there. However, take my experience with Texas to heart. If you're not from there, you're not welcome, and they let you know it.

I've been visiting Austin for the past 10 years, going down sometimes 2-3 times/year. I have always made friends on my visits there. The only time I ever saw or recognized Austinites being unfriendly was if they heard "well, we do it this way in (insert name of city/state)" They don't like to be told how to do things or how Austin/TX could change for the better from out of staters.

Tell me more about your experiences in Texas and what part were you living in.

[desibhar]

Originally Posted by Texanwannabe

Tell me more about your experiences in Texas and what part were you living in.

I lived in Arlington (halfway between Dallas and Fort Worth) Texas, and they were insistent that they didn't live in the United States. They lived in Texas, and they wanted to secede from the country, and become their own country again. A lot of the people were nice, but very close minded as to different ways of doing things/living. I was always chastised for going to Dallas, because people didn't understand that there is more to nightlife than staying at home and shooting your rifle. It was a good experience to live in Texas for a few years, but I'm glad I no longer live there. My 0.02.

[sunrico90]

Question: What is the core problem on the dating scene and what is the fix?

After reading the entire thread I see a number of factors, but what is the root cause and how can we change it?

Is this a sign of just a very large younger population?

[johnnytang24]

Originally Posted by sunrico90

Question: What is the core problem on the dating scene and what is the fix?

After reading the entire thread I see a number of factors, but what is the root cause and how can we change it?

Is this a sign of just a very large younger population?

My theory is that Pittsburghers are very family oriented (not a bad thing). Also, many people are from the area, and stay in the area. Acquaintances are made through old friends. Friends of friends become friends. It's the same as with finding employment: if you don't know someone, it's very difficult to get a foot in the door.

After bing in Pittsburgh so long, I was recently in NY and I was suprised at how casually people will chat up strangers in a bar.

[GottaGetOuttaHere]

I am single and in my early 40's, and considering a move to Pbrgh or Scranton, but the situation regarding dating in Pbrgh is a deterring factor for me. It's not so much about finding that special someone, necessarily, but of being able to meet other single like-minded people around my age group, in general. If dating is such a dismal scene in the "burg", then it would stand to reason that meeting anyone who is single just for friendship, would be just as difficult. At my job and even in my own family, there is a not-so-subtle prejudice against me for being unattached where everyone else is married and/or has kids, or has a bf/gf. I feel treated differently; like no one can relate to me because I am single and they are not. It's not always that blatant, mind you; it's just a feeling I get. Sometimes, it IS blatant: like the time my married sisters were all going out to dinner and decided not to invite me because they were afraid I'D feel uncomfortable. Let ME be the judge of that! The problem is, THEY felt uncomfortable!..I had no problem with it, at all!

I had a "work friend" (as all of my friends are) join me in complaining that we have no friends outside of the office to hang out with, cry with, or call in the middle of the night in case of emergency. But when I said she can always call me at anytime if she needed me, cry on my shoulder or vent about her problems, and btw, "Maybe sometime we can go for coffee after work?"..I was met with a not-so-eager, "Ok"..and dont' you know, it never happened.

I should mention that this person is married and has a three year old. She also has a friend at work who she sees occasionally outside of the office to go to her house or out to breakfast with on Sundays. And yes, this other person is married, too.

In all fairness, however, I should say that my sister and cousin, who have lived in their respective areas for about 6-7 years each, also do not have any "real" friends outside of their families. My sister, who lives in the suburbs of NYC, only not too long ago became very friendly with her daughter's best friend's mother..and she's lived in the area for six years. No matter the circumstance, it really is about putting yourself out there; something I know I don't do.

There is a site I'd seen years ago, and it was for newcomer's to an area. I just pulled it up, and it's, Newcomers Club, Dads & Moms Club Worldwide Directory - Mothers & More, American Womens Club. It's for anyone new to an area, but I also think that locals and not-so-newcomers can benefit. I certainly hope so, for anyone who is looking to connect with people, regardless of their reasons.

[Steelers115]

I am in my early 20s, and live in the suburbs, and as far as meeting people i think this is a great area. Im from here born and raised but i have traveled all over and in my opinion western PA has the most beautiful woman in the country. I have no trouble meeting girls around my age, late 20s, and early 30s. Im newly single in the past month, and have been loving every minute of it, and this is a good place to be for singles. I have heard older people saying this areas not so good for them but i dont know. I meet girls at the bar, but ive also met them at a lot of random places like gas stations, kennywood, supermarkets, concerts, my neighborhood, hell even myspace. Then of course meeting people thru friends and who you know. Oh another good place...maybe the best place to meet people is sporting events...Pirates games are great because you can get cheep tickets and theres tons of singles there. Steelers games are even better if you can get tickets. Pens games are good too, but im guessing tickets for pens games will be hard to get now.

[Steelers115]

Originally Posted by Texanwannabe

I've been visiting Austin for the past 10 years, going down sometimes 2-3 times/year. I have always made friends on my visits there. The only time I ever saw or recognized Austinites being unfriendly was if they heard "well, we do it this way in (insert name of city/state)" They don't like to be told how to do things or how Austin/TX could change for the better from out of staters.

Tell me more about your experiences in Texas and what part were you living in.

This doesent apply to everyone obviously...but a good deal of southerners are nice to you when you visit and spending your money in there state...but as soon as you move down you are a yankee, and its yankee this yankee that, and all you hear about is the south. They have a different way of thinking than we do. When i lived down south i can honestly say all of my friends were either from PA, NY, MI, OH, IL, IA, IN, and 1 from CA... i had a few people that were from there that i talked too, but i didnt really associate with them outside of work to much. I do find it interesting that everyone we hungout with was either from the northeast or midwest. From what i have seen in my experience, and different people i know....a lot of people leave Pittsburgh to move down south or somewere warm...just to come home because its not what they think it is down there, and it takes moving there for them to know that, and see how good it is here. Good luck in your move, and hope all goes well but just keep this in mind. Oh yea and if your into football....you have to deal with all the cowboys fans

TX brings back memorys, i got bucked off a mustang in san antonio as a kid, and landed on my neck... lucky i wasent paralized. San Antonio was a fun city to visit (other than the horse). I like the canel going through downtown. I have never been to Austin but i hear its a fun town.

[lifepgh2op]

I don't know why nobody ever mentions this but try this group out. They do a lot of fun activities through the year. You can attend activities w/o being a member and if you like what you see, you can join (I think it's $40 a yr?) Their ages range from 21-40 but I've seen them out before and it looks like majority 30-yr olds.

http://pyp.org/Home.asp (broken link)

[lifepgh2op]

Originally Posted by Steelers115

I am in my early 20s, and live in the suburbs, and as far as meeting people i think this is a great area. Im from here born and raised but i have traveled all over and in my opinion western PA has the most beautiful woman in the country. I have no trouble meeting girls around my age, late 20s, and early 30s. Im newly single in the past month, and have been loving every minute of it, and this is a good place to be for singles. I have heard older people saying this areas not so good for them but i dont know. I meet girls at the bar, but ive also met them at a lot of random places like gas stations, kennywood, supermarkets, concerts, my neighborhood, hell even myspace. Then of course meeting people thru friends and who you know.

I just became single too...dude I gotta start hanging out w/ you haha

[Steelers115]

After being tied down for a year and a half....im loving it! I know a bunch of good places to go out my way (cranberry) one of my faverite spots is in evans city and thats only like an exit up from cranberry...

What part of Pittsburgh are you in lol