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Old 11-14-2009, 03:28 PM
 
524 posts, read 1,764,493 times
Reputation: 162
Default Play groups / Mommy Groups

Do any of you belong to either of these groups that you could recommend to us. We just moved back here and I would like to meet some people with little ones.
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Old 11-14-2009, 04:05 PM
 
42,545 posts, read 47,757,715 times
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My recommendation is to use the play groups to socialize your children but look for adult friends outside of the mommy zone through your hobbies and interests.

If all of your children are young, you'll soon find out that mommies of small children can be very scary people.

I know a woman who built her entire social network around her children when she first moved to Pittsburgh. When their children would get into a fight, the mothers would shun one another. Sometimes the other mothers of other children would side with the other side and she'd find herself without a friend for weeks on end before she worked it out with them. They were so overly involved in their children's socializing, partly due to their socializing depended upon it, that it was common for one to say "my daughter is hurt that your daughter didn't invite her to bla bla bla." It was really catty.

When she became frustrated and told me about the problems she was having with the other mothers, I recommended that she seek out friends who had older children or no children---people she had common interests with. Her response was that it was just easier for her to be friends with the same people who had children hers were friends with. It didn't sound easier to me---except that it simply saved time and was easier to schedule.

I'm totally serious. You've been properly warned. Years from now, you'll remember this post.
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Old 11-14-2009, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Under Mount Doom
8,987 posts, read 5,766,360 times
Reputation: 4585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
My recommendation is to use the play groups to socialize your children but look for adult friends outside of the mommy zone through your hobbies and interests.

If all of your children are young, you'll soon find out that mommies of small children can be very scary people.

I know a woman who built her entire social network around her children when she first moved to Pittsburgh. When their children would get into a fight, the mothers would shun one another. Sometimes the other mothers of other children would side with the other side and she'd find herself without a friend for weeks on end before she worked it out with them. They were so overly involved in their children's socializing, partly due to their socializing depended upon it, that it was common for one to say "my daughter is hurt that your daughter didn't invite her to bla bla bla." It was really catty.

When she became frustrated and told me about the problems she was having with the other mothers, I recommended that she seek out friends who had older children or no children---people she had common interests with. Her response was that it was just easier for her to be friends with the same people who had children hers were friends with. It didn't sound easier to me---except that it simply saved time and was easier to schedule.

I'm totally serious. You've been properly warned. Years from now, you'll remember this post.

LOL! This post has the ring of truth to it, IMO, even if it has a bit of the feeling of "free advice."

I recall here in Ashland, Oregon, and upscale town where many wealthy and overacheiving folks take time off from careers to be stay at home Moms (and Dads). A whole lot of drama has ensued from play dates, forgotten birthdays, over-the-top parties that start senseless competitions, endless conversations about Montessori, Waldorf, spanking vs. not spanking, etc. A whole soap opera that I have been part of, but also gotten a good chuckle out of. Yes, new Mom's (and Dads) can be a high strung bunch, and the funny thing is, you would assume that no one in the world had ever properly raised a child until these enlightened parents came along. My smart but unruly boy "Attila the son" cured me of many of my arrogant know-it-all assumptions pretty quickly. I just hang out with him and try, try to survive, and not pontificate....With a bit of perspective, I increasingly think one of the best things I can teach my little lovable barbarian is that he is not the center of the universe, and anything he wants will take hard work and determination. After that, it's up to him.
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Old 11-14-2009, 06:21 PM
 
524 posts, read 1,764,493 times
Reputation: 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
My recommendation is to use the play groups to socialize your children but look for adult friends outside of the mommy zone through your hobbies and interests.

If all of your children are young, you'll soon find out that mommies of small children can be very scary people.

I know a woman who built her entire social network around her children when she first moved to Pittsburgh. When their children would get into a fight, the mothers would shun one another. Sometimes the other mothers of other children would side with the other side and she'd find herself without a friend for weeks on end before she worked it out with them. They were so overly involved in their children's socializing, partly due to their socializing depended upon it, that it was common for one to say "my daughter is hurt that your daughter didn't invite her to bla bla bla." It was really catty.

When she became frustrated and told me about the problems she was having with the other mothers, I recommended that she seek out friends who had older children or no children---people she had common interests with. Her response was that it was just easier for her to be friends with the same people who had children hers were friends with. It didn't sound easier to me---except that it simply saved time and was easier to schedule.

I'm totally serious. You've been properly warned. Years from now, you'll remember this post.
Thanks....I have friends here..lots...we were only gone for 3 years. I was just looking to expand into some people with little ones since all of my friends here have kids that are older. I am looking for playgroups or mommy groups if anyone can help.
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Old 11-15-2009, 03:12 PM
 
717 posts, read 566,886 times
Reputation: 650
I would suggest that you check your city or township's Parks and Recreation Department. I live in the 'burbs, and my township runs structured playgroups for a nominal fee.
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