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As a prerequisite, I think too many people try to dissect the word "homophobic" down to its lowest etymological level. Yes if you break apart the word to its smallest particles, it means "fear of the same". Let's just all let that go and move forward with the vernacular definition that "homophobia" means "prejudiced against gays". With that being said....
..I see the word homophobia being used a lot on city-data as well. And it is almost always directed at homophobic people.
The fact of the matter is that homophobes want their cake and want to eat it too. If you say "I have nothing against gay people, I am not homophobic, but gays are aberrant and practicing a chosen lifestyle" then that is no different then saying "I have nothing against the coloreds, I am not racist, but black people are thieves and dangerous". You are displaying prejudice with either statement.
If you decide to make a sweeping statement accusing an entire sub-group or minority of some shared undesirable behavior, then that is the very definition of prejudice. Period.
If you made the statement "Everyone knows that all jews are money hungry and run Hollywood" then you would be anti-semetic. Whether or not you view yourself as anti-semetic in your own head is immaterial. Whether or not you have a god-given or constitutional right to be anti-semetic is immaterial. Whether or not you feel it is "fair" to be labeled anti-semetic is immaterial. Whether or not you would commit violence against jews is immaterial. If you make the above statement it is fair for a 3rd party to say "you are anti-semetic".
I have called people homophobic on this board before, and never without cause. I understand that there is prejudice in the world. I am okay with that. We are all guilty of it at some point in our lives. We all must strive to be better people.
But you don't get to be dishonest about your prejudice. You don't get to wrap it up in a pretty bow, or explain it away like it is nothing. If you wish to deny homosexuals the same basic rights enjoyed by heterosexuals, then you are HOMOPHOBIC. Plain and simple. And if you want to crouch your homophobia in some philisophical or religous more, then you should expect someone to call BS.
I could not make the statement "A black man is not smart enough to be president" and then follow it up with "....but I'm not racist!!!" That is foolish. If I made that statement I would expect someone to say "Hold on there buddy...".
Yet people like the OP, and others in this thread, think they can make disparging remarks about homosexuals, or advocate denying homosexuals rights, and that their prejudice should be excused because it is based upon their religious beliefs or personal mores. But we don't have to excuse it, and we shouldn't. It is alright to call these people HOMOPHOBES.
Not at all. We as Americans must understand that a society is made up of many different people, and that not eveyrone is forced to bend to our whims. As there is no proof that homosexuality or rights for homosexuals in any way destroys our culture, then calling out homophobic behavior when we observe it is the morally correct action to take. There is no proof that societal acceptance of gays is detrimental to society, in fact, all the proof points to the opposite.
Since the beggining of American society, the majority has always selected a group, a minority, to treat with derision, to scapegoat, to persecute. Currently that group is homosexuals. But as I look at the victims of prejudice that came before me, the Jews, the Chineses, The Irish, the Blacks, women, Quakers etc. I rest easy, because while I know there will ALWAYS be homophobes, I also know that there numbers will get smaller with each passing year.
And I am sorry Muslims and Mexicans, because you are now becoming the scapegoat of small and petty people, and it really really sucks.
The term homophobia isn't just simply a label placed on people who don't like gay people. Homophobia is the backbone of American masculinity. We say things like "take it like a man" "Don't be such a f@g" "quit acting like a little girl"... In order to perpetuate the manly man image, there needs to an opposite pole to balance it out. Then we created gender roles and called them "natural" and anything that doesn't fit the dreamy mold of whatever manly is this week becomes some unnatural abomination. Homophobia is a biproduct (as well as the chief enabler) of enforcing an artificially constructed system of gender roles.
In short, homophobia isn't just a label, it's something that we live without even realizing it.
Would agree with this. I would say there is a broader homophobia that applies to anybody male who doesn't fit the alpha-male norm, and its detrimental to both the gay community and the broader population.
I see blatant displays of homophobia every day in situations where no gay people are involved i.e. two straight friends leaving an empty seat between them at a movie theater or two straight friends refusing to go to a nice restaurant because of how it may be perceived. In our society it seems we are more accepting of gay people than we are of straight people who don't fit the hyper-masculine image. If a person doesn't fit the mold, whether they are gay or not, society tells them they are gay.
As a result, there are people who take refuge in the gay community who are not actually gay, kind of a reverse closet if you will. This is detrimental to the gay community because these are the people who actually can "change" their sexual orientation, because they were never really gay to begin with. This gives ex-gay movements power and feeds the perception by true homophobes that homosexuality is a choice.
On the other hand, you are correct, it has not stopped many homosexuals from becoming very successful. Which itself serves clearly to illustrate the fact that homosexuals are NOT discriminated against in any real way.
That's about as logical as saying "Obviously since we have a black president, no blacks EVER have to deal with discrimination." I mean, c'mon! Some people can rise above their obstacles, but it doesn't discount those obstacles they faced along the way.
I believe there is such a thing as homophobia, it is the hatred or prejudice against L/G/B/T people based on an irrational fear of homo- or bisexuality. The actual word was not coined by any gay person but by doctors in fields of psychology and psychiatry (look up Dr. George Weinberg, author of "Society And The Healthy Homosexual")
To me, the whole thing boils down to respect. If there is a law abiding segment of the citizenry ... such as Italian-Americans (ethnic persuasion) or Jews (religious views) or Libertarians (political ideology) or Gays (sexual orientation) and others ... these people should not be treated as second class citizens. It's a matter of respect.
I am against hatred and prejudice. I see people trying to mask their contempt for their neighbors by stating it's their religious beliefs. Hindus are vegetarians but they don't try to enforce vegetarianism on everyone else; likewise observant Jews won't eat pork but they don't try to put the pork industry out of business.
Why not step out of the darkness of hatred and bigotry and into the sunshine of tolerance and appreciation for your neighbors and relatives who might be different than you?
Who said these so-called homophobes don't respect, tolerate or appreciate gay people? I, for one, have been called homophobic countless times on CD. I have no fear toward gays, I have no animosity toward gays, I have no problem with people who are gay. I do take issue with the gay lifestyle as I do not believe God wants us to be gay. That is my personal opinion, and I am allowed to have it. I have never once treated a gay person differently than I would treat a straight person. I take no issue with the person just b/c they are gay, I can separate one's sexuality from his/her personality and the person they are. One of our good friends is gay. Obviously if she didn't think I was being a friend to her due to my beliefs, she wouldn't talk to me anymore. But she does, and I listen when she has a problem, or when we joke around, or hang out and talk about our pets or jobs. She knows how I feel about her being gay, she knows I am a Christian and I don't subscribe to the liberal belief that gay is okay. But she also knows that I love her for her, and her being gay has nothing to do with it. It goes back to the cliche of loving the sinner but disliking the sin. I can separate the two. I respect her, I tolerate her sexuality and I appreciate her as a person and friend.
Now, tell me how this is descriptive of a homophobe.
Who said these so-called homophobes don't respect, tolerate or appreciate gay people? I, for one, have been called homophobic countless times on CD. I have no fear toward gays, I have no animosity toward gays, I have no problem with people who are gay. I do take issue with the gay lifestyle as I do not believe God wants us to be gay. That is my personal opinion, and I am allowed to have it. I have never once treated a gay person differently than I would treat a straight person. I take no issue with the person just b/c they are gay, I can separate one's sexuality from his/her personality and the person they are. One of our good friends is gay. Obviously if she didn't think I was being a friend to her due to my beliefs, she wouldn't talk to me anymore. But she does, and I listen when she has a problem, or when we joke around, or hang out and talk about our pets or jobs. She knows how I feel about her being gay, she knows I am a Christian and I don't subscribe to the liberal belief that gay is okay. But she also knows that I love her for her, and her being gay has nothing to do with it. It goes back to the cliche of loving the sinner but disliking the sin. I can separate the two. I respect her, I tolerate her sexuality and I appreciate her as a person and friend.
Now, tell me how this is descriptive of a homophobe.
It's homophobic to make up a "gay" friend to illustrate that you are not homophobic? I notice a lot of posters like you have imaginary gay friends. I call it the "Dr. Laura Gay Best Friend". Sort of like the racist people I know who can't be racist b/c they have so many "black friends". IE, co workers who happen to be black whom they never talk to.
In reality, you can dislike gays, you can be disgusted by gays, you can think gays are immoral. More power to you. I am bothered by that, but can respect that you are allowed to feel however you want to feel. Your feelings don't hurt me or prevent me from living my life.
Where you cross the line is where you want to LEGISLATE your homophobia. Then that hurts me. Then that prevents me from living my life. I don't care if you EVER have a gay friend. I don't care if you forbid gay people to enter your house.
I do care when you go into a voting booth and vote against my rights. Since you have advocated doing just that, I think you are a homophobe. No matter how many imaginary friends you have.
*Begin Soapbox* The men and women who created this country knew that there were many tyrants in the world. Some tyrants call themselves "Kings". Some tyrants call themselves "concerned citizens". I am glad that the founding fathers knew enough to create a system of government that prevents the Tyranny of the Majority from taking away the rights of a minority. A new year is beggining today, and I am feeling very hopeful that things are just going to keep getting better and better for my community. Logic will win out over Dogma, Love will win over people like you that are arrogant enough to think you know what "God" wants. *End Soapbox*
Labeling anyone phobic of anything is very useful in the court of public opinion in this day and age. Actually is has been useful since the dawn of time in human interactions. There are people who hate others that engage in homosexual behavior and wish to do them harm. That is life and always will be.
There are also those people such as myself who believe homosexual proclivity is chosen and an aberrant behavior that is allowed to exist because we no longer live by natures laws. I have no malice towards these people, I just chose to believe their sexual appetites are naturally abnormal along with several other types of sexual behavior. Hey live and let live. Some of my best friends are gay. LOL
Let the labeling begin...
I wouldn't say you're homophobic. But with all of the facts that have been presented in various threads on this forum over just the slightly less than two years I've been reading and posting here, I simply cannot understand how anyone can believe homosexuality (or ANY sexual identity) is 'chosen'.
Do you think the reason why they don't assert their beliefs on others is because of religion, or because of culture?
IMO, it's a little bit of both, as one thing I've observed, both through forums such as this and through personal interaction, is that both of those religions stress respect for others.
Who said these so-called homophobes don't respect, tolerate or appreciate gay people? I, for one, have been called homophobic countless times on CD. I have no fear toward gays, I have no animosity toward gays, I have no problem with people who are gay. I do take issue with the gay lifestyle as I do not believe God wants us to be gay. That is my personal opinion, and I am allowed to have it. I have never once treated a gay person differently than I would treat a straight person. I take no issue with the person just b/c they are gay, I can separate one's sexuality from his/her personality and the person they are. One of our good friends is gay. Obviously if she didn't think I was being a friend to her due to my beliefs, she wouldn't talk to me anymore. But she does, and I listen when she has a problem, or when we joke around, or hang out and talk about our pets or jobs. She knows how I feel about her being gay, she knows I am a Christian and I don't subscribe to the liberal belief that gay is okay. But she also knows that I love her for her, and her being gay has nothing to do with it. It goes back to the cliche of loving the sinner but disliking the sin. I can separate the two. I respect her, I tolerate her sexuality and I appreciate her as a person and friend.
Now, tell me how this is descriptive of a homophobe.
on here you are automatically labeled a homophobe if you dont agree with them
on here you are automatically labeled a homophobe if you dont agree with them
No, you are labeled a homophobe if you are prejudiced against gay people.
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Some people can rise above their obstacles, but it doesn't discount those obstacles they faced along the way.
