Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
As some of you know, I lost my father last month to cirrhosis of the liver. He was a heavy alcoholic and it ran in his family.
Before I found out he was terminally sick, I felt that most drugs should be legal and people have the right to slowly kill themselves with their additions without govt intervention. I thought that most drug enforcement was a big waste of money.
My father's struggle with alcohol was throughout his life. My mother and stepmother did everything to get him to stop drinking. That had to be so painful but it did not compare to my pain of having my father spending more time drinking than being a dad to me. The worst pain was when I went to see him right before he died seeing him in such pain and not even being able to talk to me.
After dealing with this loss, I still feel the same way that most drugs should be legal and the government should stop the war on drugs and butt out. I'm wondering whether this cold since I have felt the pain of losing some to substance abuse. Shouldn't the govt protect the people from themselves sometimes?
As some of you know, I lost my father last month to cirrhosis of the liver. He was a heavy alcoholic and it ran in his family.
Before I found out he was terminally sick, I felt that most drugs should be legal and people have the right to slowly kill themselves with their additions without govt intervention. I thought that most drug enforcement was a big waste of money.
My father's struggle with alcohol was throughout his life. My mother and stepmother did everything to get him to stop drinking. That had to be so painful but it did not compare to my pain of having my father spending more time drinking than being a dad to me. The worst pain was when I went to see him right before he died seeing him in such pain and not even being able to talk to me.
After dealing with this loss, I still feel the same way that most drugs should be legal and the government should stop the war on drugs and butt out. I'm wondering whether this cold since I have felt the pain of losing some to substance abuse. Shouldn't the govt protect the people from themselves sometimes?
First off, let me say I'm sorry for your loss.
I lost one Uncle to liver failure due to heavy alcohol intake about 3 ago now, and as chance would have it, I lost another uncle this very day, probably to heavy use of prescribed pain medication for severe back pain he's had for as long as I can remember.
I've seen family die from Meth, cocaine, prescription medication, and alcohol, all while feeling the same way that you do, I couldn't stop them, not one.
There is no way to stop a human being from doing what they want in a free society. Its just that simple.
What can be done, and I'm sure you have done this, is to limit your own use to substances that don't harm you or others, and those things like alcohol that can be used safely in moderation.
I see no use for meth, I see no use for a lot of drugs I don't want to do, or anyone I'm close to using either. But I always tell my son, the only person you can truly control is yourself. If you don't like something, then don't use it. It hurts to see those close to you to make bad decisions, but in reality, there is little you can do except to love them, and not enable their use.
I'm not sure of your mothers situation, but I know my grandmother enabled my uncle to slowly kill himself with alcohol. She took care of him, she made sure he didn't have to work, she is responsible for part of his addiction that killed him. Now I would never tell her that, it'd kill her, but thats just reality.
My uncle that died today is a victim of a far worse problem, doctors over prescribing pain medication, then slowly becoming addicted to that medicine.
I have had a couple of different relatives that battle/ed substance abuse, including one that comitted suicide.
As cheesey as it frickin sounds these people have to want to quit for themselves.
Being alienated from your family, losing all your money, and your body falling apart sometimes isn't enough motivation to quit. If that is the case I don't believe that the mere possibility of prison time will work.
You aren't cold hearted for believing that the government can't prevent him or others from destroying themselves with drugs and alcohol.
As some of you know, I lost my father last month to cirrhosis of the liver. He was a heavy alcoholic and it ran in his family.
Before I found out he was terminally sick, I felt that most drugs should be legal and people have the right to slowly kill themselves with their additions without govt intervention. I thought that most drug enforcement was a big waste of money.
My father's struggle with alcohol was throughout his life. My mother and stepmother did everything to get him to stop drinking. That had to be so painful but it did not compare to my pain of having my father spending more time drinking than being a dad to me. The worst pain was when I went to see him right before he died seeing him in such pain and not even being able to talk to me.
After dealing with this loss, I still feel the same way that most drugs should be legal and the government should stop the war on drugs and butt out. I'm wondering whether this cold since I have felt the pain of losing some to substance abuse. Shouldn't the govt protect the people from themselves sometimes?
I'm sorry for your loss.
The government should not protect people from themselves, no. However the laws should protect others. You may not recognize it yet but growing up with an alcoholic has a number of negative reprocussions upon you and how you approach your life, your emotions, and the ways in which you interact with others. Drug abuse is not a victimless crime. The abuser does not live in a bubble. His/her addiction affects those in which he/she has daily or frequent contact. IMO it is child abuse for an addicted parent to be raising children.
The government should not protect people from themselves, no. However the laws should protect others. You may not recognize it yet but growing up with an alcoholic has a number of negative reprocussions upon you and how you approach your life, your emotions, and the ways in which you interact with others.
Growing up with parents that don't read to you, feed you sugar all the time, etc all have negative effects on children also.
The question is, where does the nannying stop?
Its not the governments job to do that, and to do so would be the end of our free society.
My friend lost his dad to liver failure after years of alcohol abuse. It's a very sad and messed up thing to see unfold, but unless the person abusing it wants to help themselves, there's not a whole lot you can do.
Very very sorry for the loss you face. Unless you have experienced yourself a loved one, a best friend, who has battled alchoal, and lost the battle, or is expereiencing living life with a alchoalic, people do not know how brutal this illness can be, yes i call it a illness. It is very sad, to have to step aside, and watch someone you love be taken over by alchoal, or ins some instances drugs. If these people kew from the onset of their obsession, that they would soon be taken over and consumed by their bad bad habit, and also destroying the lives of those who love them, that have to sit and stand back, and watch their loved one, disinsingerate before their eyes, maybe they would think twice about this negative killer of a problem. Yes i too have known people in this position, and it is not a nice position to have to be in.
An alchoalic cannot be happy with just the one or two drinks, they have to settle on the whole bottle, sometimes 2 and 3 more, they cannot handle their liquor They don't or have no concept of when to stop drinking, thus i call this a fatal bad habit. And there are violent consequences to a alchoalic binge, i have witnessed this first hand by soneone i know and love, not in my family but a person i care about a lot, could not handle the liquor. Once again i am so very sorry for you loss.
Both of my parents were alcoholics for years and got sober when I was 16. I would rather be with a pot head any day than a mean drunk.
I did learn alot from them and others as I would go to open meetings with them. It is quite sad and fascinating to see where people came from and where they ended up. How some could/would climb out of the hole and others didn't/couldn't.
I haven't had a drink in many years but not because I can't it is because I don't see the need to go there. I explained the dangers to my children but did tell them many people can drink socially and never have a problem.
When my grown daughter and her husband came to visit for a week, my SIL wanted a beer while he was watching TV but didn't want to because I don't drink. I told him I was fine with it and then he started having a beer every night.
I also learned back then that you can only lead the horse to water which helped me in different things along the way of life.
As long as your dad did not add to the cost associated with abuse;its his right. If he did add tht takes away from someone who wnats hekp. The problem we have is that statistic I see show that 80% relapse and that mnay get no help because of this.In the end any cost assocaiated with treatment efeects us all. It is treated medically.
I agree with Memphis that the government can't protect someone from their demons. I think honest, no hold barred drug education is better than "just say no".
Last edited by Greatwoods; 02-19-2011 at 09:33 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
