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I suggest no one knows what this family is going through or went through. To pass judgement is rather arrogant and intrusive. We really have no facts, we don't know the reasoning. Perhaps it is best to not see mom in this fashion. It does her no good either way. I suspect the father is doing what he thinks is best and he is the only one that knows the situation.
And if he is right and the children start acting out... how do you reverse this problem created? Think this judge will come deal with the problems created? He has no clue and will be done with it once the gavel hits the desk.
Aone don't get me wrong. I hate that this has to be in a court room at all. I truly wish that this family had practical counselors to help hash out details in the interest of the greater good. I truly do not want myself or my government interfering with the intimate details or decisions only a family should make together.
The problem is Mr Dorn decided to drag his laundry & his children through the court system. Now we can't mind our business. Now it's all our business. HE petitioned a court to decide, not for the (collective) family to decide. He is no victim here. She is the victim and for whatever reasons he has trying to write her off for dead when she's not, his personal problems/ disappointment with her shouldn't be added to her burden.
Suing a severely disabled woman for child support-- is that not clear enough to you? That money should go towards getting her as mended as possible, medical research pursued on her behalf, ensuring she's taken care of for however long she lasts. In the event of premature death, it should be set up as trust funds for her children to do as they see fit. Perhaps they'll use the money to go to college working for a cure, or perhaps they'll create a charitable research base. At least now they'll have the basis to understand where they came from.
A mainstream expert is much more disapproving. William E. Pelham Jr., director of the Center for Children and Families at Florida International University, called neurofeedback “crackpot charlatanism.” He warned that exaggerated claims for it might lead parents to favor it over proven options like behavioral therapy and medication.
Exhibit A why there are zero viable treatment options within traditional medicine for people like Abbie Dorn.
Dear Mr William Pelham jr PhD,
If you had a cure there would be no need to consider anything else. Since you clearly don't, why isn't science allowed to stand on it's own two feet as pure science? Why is your mission statement promoting behavioral therapy and medication no matter the truth? Your job is not supposed to be about protecting status quo, selling pills, or tearing down another school of thought, but a commitment to advancing health through applied sciences. Your loyalties are misplaced by the limelight you truly serve.
I do not recognize your negative competition attitude, ie feuding snake oil brands vying for marketing supremacy, as being the slightest bit beneficial to humanity nor does it reasonably represent the core objectives of your very profession. There is but one thing for humanity to sanely announce on behalf of the afflicted; Go sit by your dish!
I suggest no one knows what this family is going through or went through. To pass judgement is rather arrogant and intrusive. We really have no facts, we don't know the reasoning. Perhaps it is best to not see mom in this fashion. It does her no good either way. I suspect the father is doing what he thinks is best and he is the only one that knows the situation.
And if he is right and the children start acting out... how do you reverse this problem created? Think this judge will come deal with the problems created? He has no clue and will be done with it once the gavel hits the desk.
I hope I didn't come across as being judgmental. What the father didn't isn't exemplary, but it's true that it's incredibly difficult to be in that situation. I to this day find it was a miracle that my ex-wife never left me when I went deaf and blind. (I left her cause things got abusive.) I understand how hard it is for the father. I know he never planned to have his wife suffer extensive brain damage or any of that, and people don't always react in the best way. It's also a lot easier to say what you would have done than to do it. So while I totally disagree with what he did, I can understand where he's coming from.
I'm merely hoping to point out the potential that this woman has because as someone who has been disabled (not to the extent this woman has but nevertheless disabled) I know that people have a tendency to grossly underestimate how much people can do given their disability. I just hope that people realize this woman, even in her current condition, can find ways to communicate with her children and therefore form a relationship with them. The children expressed a desire to see their mother regardless of her limitations in communication. So there's nothing that justifies taking away visitation rights. I think that is a classic example of society's tendency to underestimate what the disabled can do and therefore try to take away things they deserve. Luckily, this judge didn't fall into that pattern.
There's a vast difference between an architect's plans, a master carpenters ability to materialize those plans, and a pre fabricated home a monkey could erect. Now look at the state of medical science through those eyes. Nothing gets cured anymore. Doctors don't have to think. The law and insurance industry dictates the reference book and dictates the application of the closest fitting cookie cutter. We treat symptoms with a million brands of pills and ignore root causes. Medicine itself is sickened.
Research is orientated for profit, not for discovering truth & delivering cures. They can't wonder why so many are resorting to alternative medicine. It's no coincidence that's exactly where Abbie's parents headed to do what they could to help their daughter. Reliable as a train schedule, next will come the accusations of quackery.
Oh, I don't at all blame the doctors for giving the prediction they did. I understand why they need to give you the least hope possible. Worse results than hoped leads to disappointment; better results than hoped leads to gratitude.
I agree that a lot of medicine is sickened, but at least our body's natural ability to heal is still intact. I was totally deaf-blind and had severe chronic pain two months ago and through intensive acupuncture, meditation, energy work, and through eliminating factors that added to my deaf-blindness and chronic pain (physical abuse), my body healed. I can see and hear 90% now. My chronic pain is gone.
My conventional doctors never expected I could see and hear again. They call me "the miracle patient." I know a man who was in a car accident and had all his internal organs messed up. Now, not only is he walking around with his organs perfectly intact, but he is as flexible as a baby and in his 60's because he developed something called Meridian Stretching. If it weren't for his accident, he would have never discovered the body's ability to heal. He's another miracle patient.
The nervous system, and the body in general, can heal way more than most people, even medical doctors, can imagine.
I am not saying this will happen for sure with Abbie Dorn. Nobody knows for sure what will happen with Abbie Dorn. I just want to highlight the potential she and anyone has to heal.
Last edited by nimchimpsky; 03-28-2011 at 09:01 AM..
The nervous system, and the body in general, can heal way more than most people, even medical doctors, can imagine.
I am not saying this will happen for sure with Abbie Dorn. Nobody knows for sure what will happen with Abbie Dorn. I just want to highlight the potential she and anyone has to heal.
I agree. I know three people who were all told they would be vegetables for the rest of their lives, my husband included. Fast forward and they all met in a private pay therapy class no one ever thought they'd recover enough to take. They all learned how to read again among many other things that enrich their lives and they are anything but vegetables. The traditional medical community tell people the vegetable line because they think they are protecting the families from disappointment and because they know that insurance companies won't pay for the all therapies needed to give them a chance at recovery.
I suggest no one knows what this family is going through or went through. To pass judgement is rather arrogant and intrusive. We really have no facts, we don't know the reasoning. Perhaps it is best to not see mom in this fashion. It does her no good either way. I suspect the father is doing what he thinks is best and he is the only one that knows the situation.
And if he is right and the children start acting out... how do you reverse this problem created? Think this judge will come deal with the problems created? He has no clue and will be done with it once the gavel hits the desk.
We don't know all the facts, of course, but the ones we do know do not paint this man in a favorable light. Here is someone who divorced his disabled wife, and courted another woman within a year of his wife's disability.
As for the kids, according to the LA Times article, they didn't even know they had a mother until recently. That's a bit harsh, isn't it?
I see your defense of disabled as valid because our policies regarding disabled are so all or nothing that it's inadvertently conditioned people into all or nothing treatment of disabled people. I can only hope that our governments SSDI program would get in line with the philosophy of occupational therapy and allow them as much autonomy/ dignity as they can reasonably manage. Retraining them into better suited professions is a much better investment of social resources than sending a check and expecting them to languish and rot. That's not humane or sensible.
I see plain as day how mentally incapacitated people are abused/ treated as if mental afflictions are contagious. Who is more/ less sane when people justify abusive treatment of them? She's not inflicting herself on anyone. This ugliness in people kicking her when she's down isn't anything I'm willing to sit still about.
Medical science renders itself useless when they resign themselves to unquestioned acceptance too often. Individuals wind up making themselves a guinea pig for all humanity when circumstances dictate. The best things we've accomplished as a species can be attributed to people solving problems by pioneering. Science resting on it's laurels like VFW glory days soldiers is a joke. Science is dead when it quits asking questions. How many lives would be lost in vain over that self satisfied mentality? Too many. We're arguing with the automotive industry about inventing seat belts all over again.
The neurologist advising Mr Dorn merits confrontation from the medical community at large, not to scapegoat him, but to come to a greater consensus realization of ethical conduct. It's as if he's blinded himself to what's actually before him (her abilities) intellectually demanding she live up to able bodied criteria. Abbie is not Terry but he's treating her as if she is. His assessment tools need to meet her where she is, not impose irrational expectations to jump through hoops of dogmatic criteria. --------
RE: Mr Dorn, it doesn't matter what any of us think of him personally because not one of us has to live with the consequence of his decisions. His children, conscience, and his maker will be his judge one day, and that's a price/ regret he has yet to realize. I pray he opens his eyes sooner than not. Lies we tell ourselves is an act of poisoning our own well and inadvertently divorcing ourselves from the very things worthy of defense. I honor his free will, even if I strongly disagree with what he's done with his free will.
Judge not lest ye be judged is a teaching delivered by a Jew meant to remind us that we're not God. That said, Mr Dorn, when you want a divorce on the grounds of wanting to 'move on', below paragraphs are what I hear you've declared about yourself. Perhaps it might be what God is hearing too. You decide if I'm wrong, but sparing you this criticism when I'm witnessing grievous harm to your family is far more hurtful than either of us being proven wrong or appearing the fool.
You're too emotionally weak to face reality when it's unpleasant. You've changed the terms and conditions of marriage after the fact demonstrating how unworthy of Abbie you were when you left her for dead as defective merchandise. I credit you for remanding her to the custody of her parents as the merciful thing to do if you're factually not up to the task. In doing so, you've also just announced to the world and your God she was a fool for trusting you in marriage. You've reduced marriage to legalized prostitution. I agree she likely will never have the ability to pleasure you sexually again. How disappointed you must be. How disappointed do you suppose Abbie must be? Placed on a scale, your sorrow is paltry at best, and yet you continue to claim love for her. I see zero comprehension of love. I see embarrassment over a superficial infatuation that burnt out. I see Abbie as the sole source of love in your marriage, yourself not much more than hanger on along for the thrill of being loved yet giving none.
The financial means to care for her were laid at your feet. The vast majority of the planet throughout recorded history finding themselves in similar or worse circumstances wouldn't be empowered with $7 million settlements, relatives medically trained to lean upon, in a state as generous as California or a nation as compassionate as America. I won't argue with your covert admission that you're a weak, immature, and frightened juvenile not competent enough to carry your wife. Yes, there are mitigating circumstances attempting to raise 3 children with no experience minus an active mother figure, but that doesn't negate the fact your pants are absent. You've made that decision about yourself instead of humbling yourself to ask for help or lend you courage.
I pledge to you one citizen to another I won't be stalking you with protest signs frightening your children, disrupting your life/ business, or taking it upon myself to mete out 'God's wrath' upon you or your family in any way. I agree the law should not force you to remain married. Neither should the law permit you to take your lack of character/ shortcomings out on Abbie through the law, and through her very own children, as a blunt instrument to exacerbate a tragic situation. The ethical basis prohibiting the boiling of the kid in it's own mothers milk comes to mind. It's morally repugnant no matter what faith (or lack thereof) you profess. Your court petition is an affront to the whole of womankind. Not just Abbie. Not just the mother of your children. Not just the disabled. Judged IAW your self styled standard of conduct, what woman ought to involve herself with defective merchandise such as yourself? There's a lid for every pot, Mr Dorn, and as-is you have every reason to fear meeting your present tense soul mate. Stop. Think about where you're leading your family. Read this book before you decide anything else... Amazon.com: Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber (9780877736981): Ken Wilber: Books
The guy wants child support from the malpractice award of his children's disabled mother while attempting to deny her any rights, even visitation? What a low life piece of scum he is.
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