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I see many of the same posters here that have a problem with giving a kid a smack on the bottom now and again, but have no problem with ripping a child from the womb and murdering it. Isn't that the same as being for Capitol punishment and against abortion? At least that's the argument I see posted all the time by abortion supporters.
Spare the rod but murder the child?
That's because they don't want a society with a healthy attitude. Shoot, we're is the fun in that?
I think this is all a very responsible way to use spanking. I do think spanking can be used appropriately but I just don't think enough parents know where that line is between appropriate and abuse. There are so many more parents that go too far than there are parents that know when and how to use spanking. That's why I advocate a no-spanking approach because most parents don't have the kind of judgment it sounds like you had with your kids.
I know so many people that were outright physically abused under the guise of "spanking." I was sexually abused under the guise of "punishment". Parents need punishment methods that can't be turned into abuse no matter what way you push it so that they don't turn what should be normal, responsible, discipline into abuse.
They know the difference. Just many will act as if they don't.
Funny how that's the same exact reasoning my babysitter used when she raped me. "I'm doing this for your own good," "I'm doing this out of love."
Sorry but it's a lame excuse. Maybe your mother wasn't really abusing you, but there are WAY too many parents/caretakers that will and do use that reasoning to justify abuse.
Slippery slope.
I'm sorry you went through that devastation. However, the babysitter knew the difference, just as you know the difference. Some times knowing and doing are two totally different things.
In my sixth grade class was a girl, she came to school one day with bruises all up and down her legs. Most all of us knew the difference, between an act of love and an act of abuse. The girl disappeared one day and we never did learn what happened to her. We just knew, her home life was not very good at all.
The difference in love is understood, by the difference in people.
When my child was little, he was instructed not to
give strangers his name in public With that said,
glad to hear your child uses yes ma'am, yes sir -
always love southern tradition of politeness and
respect. Still - your comments do nothing for an argument for physical abuse/contact and public humiliation.
If I see someone like you hit a child in public, I
will politely tell you: Ma'am, take your hands off
that child, before I knock your lights out
There's an old saying "Pick on someone your own
size"
I would politely tell you to place your head between your legs and jump up your !@#$%^&*.,..
You are responsible for the raising and discipline of your children, and no one elses, if you stick you nose where it shouldn't be, it becomes a target.
Like my old Drill Sergeant Used to say, "If you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, someone's gonna break it for you".
Originally Posted by actonbell Not disciplining the child in public is more embarrassing for the parent, the on lookers, feel sorry for the parent who has lost control of their life that is now in the hands of a wee person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
There's always removal from the situation, finding a private corner, etc.
A child's attention span is just not that long. If a parent says, as they often do, 'wait till we get home'. By then the child has forgotten all about it and is confused as to why mommy or daddy is upset with them. Whatever it was that happened in the public that was bad behavior has now been replaced by hitting the door and turning on the TV and seeing the cartoon. They've done forgot about it, but the adult hasn't. It really depends on the age here too, in the older they are the more apt they will remember for longer periods of time.
Many times I have walked into the Walmart lady's room (is this what you mean by a private corner?) to hear a child being disciplined in the larger stall. Whether it be a paddling, or a stern talking to---I think, at least the mom is doing something, rather than ignoring the child. It is hard to do a time out in a store.
I got lucky in that I could leave my daughter at home with her father. The boys got to go with me and she was left board at home. She was told, when she can be trusted to not act up in public, then she will be able to come with, but not before. Some people don't have that home front advantage.
Children want and crave attention. Shoot we all did, I remember. They just want to know they are loved. I heard a study once that addressed how children feel about being disciplined and most were all for it, because it is then they know they are cared about and not being put on ignore for all eternity. If a parent could careless about their child, and some do, they show it through their actions. We know it, the kids know it, and society better get with the program, if we are to have healthier attitudes to help guide our future into prosperity.
My mom once told me, "I could not care about you, like other parents don't care about their children. Is that what you want?" That's not something one should ask a child whose behind is beat red, however, I did get her point, the whole point.
Funny how that's the same exact reasoning my babysitter used when she raped me. "I'm doing this for your own good," "I'm doing this out of love."
Sorry but it's a lame excuse. Maybe your mother wasn't really abusing you, but there are WAY too many parents/caretakers that will and do use that reasoning to justify abuse.
Slippery slope.
No, there is no slippery slope from spanking to rape or from spanking to child abuse.
Window Locks | The Home Adventure (http://thehomeadventure.com/using-window-locks-to-help-secure-your-home/ - broken link)
"Window locks can also help protect your children since there’s no danger of falling from a locked window."
Do you keep your windows closed and locked in the summer or do you have them open when there is a screen? Don't know about you but I tend to enjoy a breeze on a warm day.
A child's attention span is just not that long. If a parent says, as they often do, 'wait till we get home'. By then the child has forgotten all about it and is confused as to why mommy or daddy is upset with them. .......
Children want and crave attention. Shoot we all did, I remember.
They also learn from experience. If they throw a tantrum in the store and get rewarded rather than suffer the consequences, they will do it again.
Kid screams...get's the candy... and now knows how to get candy.
A child's attention span is just not that long. If a parent says, as they often do, 'wait till we get home'. By then the child has forgotten all about it and is confused as to why mommy or daddy is upset with them. Whatever it was that happened in the public that was bad behavior has now been replaced by hitting the door and turning on the TV and seeing the cartoon. They've done forgot about it, but the adult hasn't. It really depends on the age here too, in the older they are the more apt they will remember for longer periods of time.
Many times I have walked into the Walmart lady's room (is this what you mean by a private corner?) to hear a child being disciplined in the larger stall. Whether it be a paddling, or a stern talking to---I think, at least the mom is doing something, rather than ignoring the child. It is hard to do a time out in a store.
I got lucky in that I could leave my daughter at home with her father. The boys got to go with me and she was left board at home. She was told, when she can be trusted to not act up in public, then she will be able to come with, but not before. Some people don't have that home front advantage.
Children want and crave attention. Shoot we all did, I remember. They just want to know they are loved. I heard a study once that addressed how children feel about being disciplined and most were all for it, because it is then they know they are cared about and not being put on ignore for all eternity. If a parent could careless about their child, and some do, they show it through their actions. We know it, the kids know it, and society better get with the program, if we are to have healthier attitudes to help guide our future into prosperity.
My mom once told me, "I could not care about you, like other parents don't care about their children. Is that what you want?" That's not something one should ask a child whose behind is beat red, however, I did get her point, the whole point.
I never said you should wait until you get home. Yes, I think the rest room at Wal Mart, or taking the kid out to the car, is appropriate. IIRC, we didn't have too many problems in public that couldn't be resolved by saying "I said NO", or similar.
There's always removal from the situation, finding a private corner, etc.
How many private corners can you find in a grocery store?
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Politeness
With that said,
