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My mom told me that both her mother and grandmother both had to work to support the families because times were tough. The kids either went along or the older ones looked after the younger ones. She herself went to work at age 14 to help the family. Maybe that's why people had a different work ethic becasue everyone was constantly working, even the kids, I don't know. I guess I was lucky to be born in the 50's when that brief, magical window of family perfection was in place. But I remember some of the neighborhood moms poppin the pills and pouring to booze and not doing as good a job with those kids and people think. I can't think of any perfect way to raise a kid because there is something negative about anything we do.
My my was SAHM and though she cleaned, cooked 4 meals a day, bought school materials, drove us around, and ultimately drove us insane with nitpicking and restrictions, she never really taught me any life lessons. She also did not help with homework (way too advanced for her). Robots can cook and be chauffeurs too. I don't seem the point of having a SAHP unless you are gonna be emotionally and academically involved in your children's life. But really most kids can do that for themselves.
My my was SAHM and though she cleaned, cooked 4 meals a day, bought school materials, drove us around, and ultimately drove us insane with nitpicking and restrictions, she never really taught me any life lessons. She also did not help with homework (way too advanced for her). Robots can cook and be chauffeurs too. I don't seem the point of having a SAHP unless you are gonna be emotionally and academically involved in your children's life. But really most kids can do that for themselves.
I so relate to that! As a SAHM I was in the company of some others who had the strangest rules and regulations for kids and family. I suspect it was their way of feeling like they were doing something authoritative since they didn't have a job or whatever. It can be frustrating for sure if it's not your thing. I was more casual about everthing but I was involed...but sometimes I think I was, and still am, overly involved becasue I didn't have much else to occupy my thoughts. My kids are both adults but both stuggled a bit with independence and letting go.
My my was SAHM and though she cleaned, cooked 4 meals a day, bought school materials, drove us around, and ultimately drove us insane with nitpicking and restrictions, she never really taught me any life lessons. She also did not help with homework (way too advanced for her). Robots can cook and be chauffeurs too. I don't seem the point of having a SAHP unless you are gonna be emotionally and academically involved in your children's life. But really most kids can do that for themselves.
Hm. Mine did all those things, but she also taught me to sew, garden, bake, needlepoint, cook, clean (you know, a lot of people don't know how to clean), how to shop properly, how to be wise with money, how to invest/handle finances, play tennis, play golf, manage rental properties, groom a dog, play bridge, how to clip coupons, how to use tools, how to paint and refinish, how to research purchases, how to wash a car...looking back, I also see there were tiny lessons in everyday life bc we spent so much time together. And she had the emotional and physical energy for us bc she wasn't drained from another job.
But I think it was extra important for us to have a SAHM because my dad worked so much (first he worked 6 days a week, then he commuted to downtown LA and was gone from 5am till almost 7pm bc of the commute)...
No one helped us with homework. They grew up in a different country and were schooled differently...if we needed help, they hired a tutor (usually a current teacher of the subject matter).
My parents have both complained that I have always been so independent. Well, then...why did you give me all the tools to do everything myself?
Hm. Mine did all those things, but she also taught me to sew, garden, bake, needlepoint, cook, clean (you know, a lot of people don't know how to clean), how to shop properly, how to be wise with money, how to invest/handle finances, play tennis, play golf, groom a dog, play bridge, how to clip coupons, how to use tools, how to paint and refinish, how to research purchases, how to wash a car...looking back, I also see there were tiny lessons in everyday life bc we spent so much time together. And she had the emotional and physical energy for us bc she wasn't drained from another job.
But I think it was extra important for us to have a SAHM because my dad worked so much (first he worked 6 days a week, then he commuted to downtown LA and was gone from 5am till almost 7pm bc of the commute)...
No one helped us with homework. They grew up in a different country and were schooled differently...if we needed help, they hired a tutor (usually a current teacher of the subject matter).
My parents have both complained that I have always been so independent. Well, then...why did you give me all the tools to do everything myself?
Bottom line: it all comes down to the individual and how well they do, working or not.
My mom taught me just about everything your mom did. Okay, she left out the dog grooming and tennis lessons but she did teach me to sew, clean, manage my finances, analyzing purchases, cook, etc. And she worked. She had to work because she was single mom for many years and then when she remarried, we could not live off a cop's salary without staying in an apartment and she did want her own home. We bumped up to a real big 800 square foot home!!! Anyway, she taught me a lot even though she worked.
Also, if your finances get more and more complicated (my parents own multiple houses, various investment things), it helps to have someone who can dedicate themselves to their management.
SAH doesn't mean no interaction with the outside world.
My mother was also super involved with our school and the community.
My my was SAHM and though she cleaned, cooked 4 meals a day, bought school materials, drove us around, and ultimately drove us insane with nitpicking and restrictions, she never really taught me any life lessons. She also did not help with homework (way too advanced for her). Robots can cook and be chauffeurs too. I don't seem the point of having a SAHP unless you are gonna be emotionally and academically involved in your children's life. But really most kids can do that for themselves.
Really! I bet your mom taught you more than you think she did. Give her a break, and don't be so mean-spirited about the homework.
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