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Nobody knows you are a devil worshiper until you tell them. Nobody knows you have had an abortion unless you tell them. Nobody knows that your sister is married to a black man unless you tell them. Nobody knows you beat your children unless you tell them.
If homosexual people don't want to be ostracized, criticized, and traumatized by their lifestyle choices, then they need to keep their mouth shut.
I was skinny as a rail in middle school and early high school. A strong wind could have blown me away. Couldn't have asked for an easier target than me. You know what? I was never bullied. I was never harrassed. It's because I didn't act vulnerable. I didn't invite scrutiny. And if for some odd reason someone was out of line, I spoke up, instead of cowering. I had personal fortitude....almost like I didn't even know I was a twig that could be easily pushed around.
By the end of 10th grade, I was 6'2" 185lbs. Not exacty a small guy anymore. I'm pretty sure there were a few people walking the halls that were glad they didn't bully me. I would have exacted revenge and smacked them around.
The point? It's all about who you are and how you carry yourself. Every bully on the planet knows that a person who fights back is the person that won't get bullied. It's human nature.
I stand by my original statements: Scientists should study the link between homosexuality and the lack of personal and psychological fortitude. I'm convinced there is a connection.
I was skinny as a rail in middle school and early high school. A strong wind could have blown me away. Couldn't have asked for an easier target than me. You know what? I was never bullied. I was never harrassed. It's because I didn't act vulnerable. I didn't invite scrutiny. And if for some odd reason someone was out of line, I spoke up. I had personal fortitude....almost like I didn't even know I was a twig that could be easily pushed around.
By the end of 10th grade, I was 6'2" 185lbs. I'm pretty sure there were a few people walking the halls that were glad they didn't bully me.
The point? It's all about who you are and how you carry yourself. Every bully on the planet knows that a person who fights back is the person that won't get bullied. It's human nature.
I stand by original statements: Scientists should study the link between homosexuality and the lack of personal and psychological fortitude. I'm convinced there is a connection.
Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about.
I was skinny, hell still am skinny. I was always popular in school. I was in varsity track and cross country. I was elected EVERY year since 4th grade to student council (even in college I was in student government).
However, I felt ashamed that I was bisexual because of what society was telling about such "behaviors".
I would think to myself why can't it just "go away".
I never was bullied. Not once. Always well liked. In fact, one guy back in high school was having a rough day. I asked what was up, he told me that I would not understand since my life was perfect. From the outside it was (great parents, awesome sports record, awesome school political record, amazing gpa).
Yet, I didn't want to tell people how I truly felt since I knew it was taboo.
Imagine being the guy in school that did tell. It would not be the same. I would not win elections since I was a "freak". The coaches would be wary of me undressing with other boys since I would be considered "deviant". I would not be a pillar of the community (I went to several conferences on how to improve schools in San Bernadino City...while in high school). Instead, I would face ostracism and contempt. This is the reality of what many homosexuals in high school go through.
It has nothing to do with fortitude. If you have people in GOVERNMENT telling you that you are a deviant, that's a heavy burden when you're a kid. Imagine if because you were scrawny you WERE bullied. Now imagine the government saying that scrawny people should not get married since they are deviants. Adults now are taking the side of those bullying you. You have nowhere to turn.
Its not at all the same. You not only are going up against one singular bully, but societal views (what your parents think, your principal, your community, your country). You simply don't have that extra dynamic that messes up with your daily life outside of school if you are bullied for wearing glasses.
If I were bullied in high school, I would have stood up for myself. However, seeing how ADULTS are treating this death, I would be fighting a LONG HARD LONELY battle. Not the same if I had some support.
These kids don't have support. They literally feel that they are scum because the MAJORITY of people (including adults) tell them that.
I guess my point is that no, it's not the same as being picked on for being skinny.
I was skinny as a rail in middle school and early high school. A strong wind could have blown me away. Couldn't have asked for an easier target than me. You know what? I was never bullied. I was never harrassed. It's because I didn't act vulnerable. I didn't invite scrutiny. And if for some odd reason someone was out of line, I spoke up, instead of cowering. I had personal fortitude....almost like I didn't even know I was a twig that could be easily pushed around.
By the end of 10th grade, I was 6'2" 185lbs. Not exacty a small guy anymore. I'm pretty sure there were a few people walking the halls that were glad they didn't bully me. I would have exacted revenge and smacked them around.
The point? It's all about who you are and how you carry yourself. Every bully on the planet knows that a person who fights back is the person that won't get bullied. It's human nature.
I stand by my original statements: Scientists should study the link between homosexuality and the lack of personal and psychological fortitude. I'm convinced there is a connection.
I feel the same way about kids that carry themselves a certain way invite bullying.
However, in the OP's link, the kid didn't get bullied until he trusted a friend with his secret and she outed him against his wishes. The cause of HIS getting bullied apparently had nothing to do with how he carried himself.
My son wouldn't come out in high school. The closest he would come is to join a GSA group and pretend to be a straight, but sympathetic member of the group. He said anyone who would willingly come out in high school is crazy and/or asking for trouble. Of course, what does this do to the few who are brave enough to come out? It makes them all the more alone and vulnerable. And THOSE are the kids most at risk.
And I am very disappointed in Branson's post. From your logic, I can assume that had you been around at the time of desegregation, you would have felt that "If only those black kids had stayed at their OWN school, nothing bad would have happened to them..." Really?
Just stay in the closet, live a double life, hide who you really are and everything will be fine, huh? If someone gave my son this advice, I would punch them in the jaw.
It is sad when anyone attempts to or commits suicide. I am surprised that City Data Forum allows you to use the forum to push your personal agenda. Strange.
What "personal agenda" would that be? We ALL need to do more to prevent the kind of bullying that leads to suicide.
cant handle life..or being bullied..well the simple solution for a person with a mental problem...suicide..or we can take a pill (like paxil) to help us DEAL with life
sorry I feel NOTHING for a sap that took his/her own life...NOTHING is so bad that you should take your own life...you think being bullied as a teen is bad..wait till you have to answer to a Boss..or you have the STRESS of being a parent, having a job, etc
its like when the military started(and luckily stopped) the basic training "Stess cards"...sorry if you cant handle the stress of basic trainging, what are you going to do when REAL bulletts are flying over your head in a combat zone
I was bullied from First thru Sixth grade, I missed over 40 days of school one year (stayed home with stomach aches because I was tormented so much) I turned out ok because I had a parent who actually gave a crap about my treatment and had parent, teacher, principal conferences and involved the parents of the bullies in those meetings.
The bullying eventually got less and less as time went by, by the sixth grade there were only one or two and they eventually went on with their lives and stopped the bullying completely.
Parents need to get involved and not IGNORE the bullying of their child if they truly care for their kids wellbeing.
I can empathize with what the kid endured, but his parents didn't do enough at the school level to intervene.
Did you even read the note? He states quite clearly that he NEVER TOLD HIS PARENTS about the bullying. How were they to do anything about something they knew nothing about?
I feel the same way about kids that carry themselves a certain way invite bullying.
However, in the OP's link, the kid didn't get bullied until he trusted a friend with his secret and she outed him against his wishes. The cause of HIS getting bullied apparently had nothing to do with how he carried himself.
My son wouldn't come out in high school. The closest he would come is to join a GSA group and pretend to be a straight, but sympathetic member of the group. He said anyone who would willingly come out in high school is crazy and/or asking for trouble. Of course, what does this do to the few who are brave enough to come out? It makes them all the more alone and vulnerable. And THOSE are the kids most at risk.
And I am very disappointed in Branson's post. From your logic, I can assume that had you been around at the time of desegregation, you would have felt that "If only those black kids had stayed at their OWN school, nothing bad would have happened to them..." Really?
Just stay in the closet, live a double life, hide who you really are and everything will be fine, huh? If someone gave my son this advice, I would punch them in the jaw.
Please don't put words in my mouth. That's all i'll say to the bolded statement.
I believe you missed my point. I have no problem with a person coming out of the closet. But they should know the reality of that decision, and be comfortable enough with themselves to stand up and stand proud. Otherwise it just doesn't sound like a good decision if that person does not have the psychological wherewithal to deal with the burden. Society sucks sometimes...but is suicide the remedy? Wouldn't the closet have been a better place for these troubled teens? At least until after high school? The answer is not ideal, but it seems obvious to me.
Clearly you have no idea what you're talking about.
I was skinny, hell still am skinny. I was always popular in school. I was in varsity track and cross country. I was elected EVERY year since 4th grade to student council (even in college I was in student government).
However, I felt ashamed that I was bisexual because of what society was telling about such "behaviors".
I would think to myself why can't it just "go away".
I never was bullied. Not once. Always well liked. In fact, one guy back in high school was having a rough day. I asked what was up, he told me that I would not understand since my life was perfect. From the outside it was (great parents, awesome sports record, awesome school political record, amazing gpa).
Yet, I didn't want to tell people how I truly felt since I knew it was taboo.
Imagine being the guy in school that did tell. It would not be the same. I would not win elections since I was a "freak". The coaches would be wary of me undressing with other boys since I would be considered "deviant". I would not be a pillar of the community (I went to several conferences on how to improve schools in San Bernadino City...while in high school). Instead, I would face ostracism and contempt. This is the reality of what many homosexuals in high school go through.
It has nothing to do with fortitude. If you have people in GOVERNMENT telling you that you are a deviant, that's a heavy burden when you're a kid. Imagine if because you were scrawny you WERE bullied. Now imagine the government saying that scrawny people should not get married since they are deviants. Adults now are taking the side of those bullying you. You have nowhere to turn.
Its not at all the same. You not only are going up against one singular bully, but societal views (what your parents think, your principal, your community, your country). You simply don't have that extra dynamic that messes up with your daily life outside of school if you are bullied for wearing glasses.
If I were bullied in high school, I would have stood up for myself. However, seeing how ADULTS are treating this death, I would be fighting a LONG HARD LONELY battle. Not the same if I had some support.
These kids don't have support. They literally feel that they are scum because the MAJORITY of people (including adults) tell them that.
I guess my point is that no, it's not the same as being picked on for being skinny.
The above response applies to your post as well:
I believe you missed my point. I have no problem with a person coming out of the closet. But they should know the reality of that decision, and be comfortable enough with themselves to stand up and stand proud. Otherwise it just doesn't sound like a good decision if that person does not have the psychological wherewithal to deal with the burden. Society sucks sometimes...but is suicide the remedy? Wouldn't the closet have been a better place for these troubled teens? At least until after high school? The answer is not ideal, but it seems obvious to me.
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