why isn't it considered more valuable for men to have a balance between masculine and feminine qualities? (high school, elect)
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I always loved communication, getting along with others and compromise and i loved it when people felt love, connection and understanding.
I am gay, and i'm not saying that all gay men are like this, and that straight men can't be.
I have noticed that compared to a lot of men i can understand women a lot better... I'm considering getting a masters in counseling. I value logic but i believe it needs to be balance with the emotional side of life as well. There is an emotional intelligence that our culture has not cared to develop or care about. I've never understood the stereotypical ahole type of guy etc.
Why aren't these things valued in our culture for guys to have?...
I'm not saying your not special, but...
I'd be super rich for every guy who told me they related/had a better understanding of the opposite sex from an intellect/emotional standpoint, over other guys.
Maybe, if you stop thinking most other guys are *******s, more would come out of the caring/understanding closet
to you. You might be part of the problem, not the solution
And, you seem too stable to be a counselor. They are
usually more whacked out than their clients, stereotypically thinking that is
And, that's the problem with stereotypes...
they tend to perpetuate bad notions like this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by theunbrainwashed
That's how it is in the West. Men should be men, and women should be women. Men are growing too soft in the West, losing their cojones, unless you have Italian blood in you. I've learned most women SAY they like the sensitive man type, but in reality they want their men to be manly too at the same time.
I'm speaking from a Latin American POV, I might add.
Well I think that slowly men in the west are becoming feminized and our society is suffering for it. I don't advocate the return of tribalism however I do believe that we live in a society where mediocrity is celebrated. Nature operates with survival of the fittest, only the best survived to procreate and enhance the species.
Now modern "society" has softened us. We live in a culture where at times we deliberately hire inferior candidates to fill some imaginary "diversity" quota, and people never really have to grow up. Even the biggest wastes of oxygen can live the high life because the government will prop them up, and the disturbing thing is these people are breeding at a higher rate than the productive class.
While I'm not a social Darwinist I do believe that at some point our society will be helped by cutting the umbilical cord off of some of our biggest freeloaders. We simply can't afford to help those who won't help themselves. However we won't, because men are now afraid to make tough decisions and instead pander and waffle.
Huh? I read this & I cannot figure out where you came up w/this & what it has to do w/the topic at hand.
Anyway, I'm not seeing this whole "confusion" thing that others talk about. I don't see an overabundance of "girly men" like others seem to notice. I see dudes who are obnoxiously overmanly, those types are ridiculous. I see the hipsters who are pretty into fashion but can still maintain a sense of dudeness. I see the run of the mill types...can't really describe them, they're just "there". And then there are the very very skinny little-boy types. I see a whole range. Why are others only seeing one type or the other? Selective vision?
I'd be super rich for every guy who told me they related/had a better understanding of the opposite sex from an intellect/emotional standpoint, over other guys.
Maybe, if you stop thinking most other guys are *******s, more would come out of the caring/understanding closet
to you. You might be part of the problem, not the solution
And, you seem too stable to be a counselor. They are
usually more whacked out than their clients, stereotypically thinking that is
And, that's the problem with stereotypes...
they tend to perpetuate bad notions like this...
We just want you to kill bugs
I'm thinking that since Rlarson is gay, he's looking into the whole male thing through those lens, which clouds his objectivity I'm not disparaging the OP for being gay, just saying that he's looking through that lens. It's like asking a Rasmussen poller or Fox News anchor on who is going to win in 2012. You're not going to get an objective opinion from them.
But most women like the feminine (shaved) appearance of modern men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Scates
sorry 90% of women prefer beards the rest are confused dykes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino
I was referring to the rest of the body, not the head.
A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she
asked him to shave his beard. "I like your beard, but I really would love to see your handsome face."
The married man replied, "My wife loves this beard. I can't possibly do it. She would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy voice...
"Really, I can't," he stated. "My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.
That night the man crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
Ever since i was a boy i've always felt very different from most other boys i have met. I was a very sensitive boy, my feelings got hurt easily and i never liked violence very much. I always loved communication, getting along with others and compromise and i loved it when people felt love, connection and understanding.
I am gay, and i'm not saying that all gay men are like this, and that straight men can't be.
I have noticed that compared to a lot of men i can understand women a lot better. I can just tell how others are feeling and their basic motivations without them having to tell me. These are all traits normally considered 'feminine'. I've been told that i'm empathic and intuitive. Some straight guy friends of mine come to me for advice when it comes to their wives and or girlfriends because they can't understand why she is saying or feeling a certain way. Some women come to me for the same thing with it comes to husbands and or boyfriends. I'm considering getting a masters in counseling. I value logic but i believe it needs to be balance with the emotional side of life as well. There is an emotional intelligence that our culture has not cared to develop or care about. I've never understood the stereotypical ahole type of guy etc. This made me very uncomfortable at school and i was extremely bullied for most of my childhood by other guys.
Why aren't these things valued in our culture for guys to have? If everyone had more of a balance with the masculine and feminine we'd all get along so much better and understand so much more.
Masculinity isn't about loving violence, communicating poorly, or not being caring, kind, and considerate. That's stereotyped masculinity, and honestly, it's awfully destructive. I mean - who would want to be around a jerk?
Real masculinity is about being strong (not necessarily physically, but emotionally and in terms of values,) fighting for what is right and protecting those who need it. What you enjoy doing - whether it's sports, being an outdoorsman, watching action movies, drinking beer, or writing poetry - is irrelevant. Sadly, too many men in today's culture don't realize this and spend too much time trying to fit into a stereotypical "masculine" image. I mean - I'm small, slow, and look like I'm in high school (despite the fact that I'm 30,) but that doesn't make me less masculine. Plus, being kind and caring is a quality that both men and women should have.
Masculinity isn't about loving violence, communicating poorly, or not being caring, kind, and considerate. That's stereotyped masculinity, and honestly, it's awfully destructive. I mean - who would want to be around a jerk?
Not at all. But, I guess it depends on what one considers "manly".
by any and every standard, what it means to be a man in today's society is vastly more feminine than it was 30 years ago.
VASTLY.
It boggles my mind that this is even being discussed. I guess the pro-everymanmustbeawoman crowd isnt done turning us into wimps.
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